all clothes were on , our home is big enough he could entertain his company in another room not the bedroom
2007-02-18 04:19:42 · 20 answers · asked by Gina G 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Well lets be honest more than likely they are doing more than just " laying" tog. I would say that I think that you and him need some ground rules on what he can and can not do. I would not freak out over them laying tog. I would make sure they both know that there is to be no touching in your home!! If they are 17 and 18 more than likely they have done other things tog. just make sure they know it is not allowed in your house and you do not approve of them doing anything.
Ps. you do not want to run them out and make them have to go some were you can not keep and eye on them. They will not just go to another room, they will leave the house if they have to do that. TRUST me!!
2007-02-18 04:26:57 · answer #1 · answered by mommy of 2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are not ok with it. But the question is this: are you uncomfortable due to the perception that it is disrespectful in the parents home or do you have a problem with the possibility of this young couple having sex regardless of location ?
If it is a respect issue then it is perfectly acceptable to have a house rule "no visitors in bedrooms". If the parents consider it disrespectful then it is. After all they are the ones who pay the bills so their opinion is what matters. If the kids don't like it they can try getting their own place and paying their own bills but I think they will find it is not so easy as it seems.
If you are unhappy with the prospect of these two having sex..well I don't think there is much you can do at this point. We live in a sex hyped society where the freedom to do what you want when you want prevails over traditional morals. Of course that freedom only goes as far as what you can financially afford. The real problem with this young couple having sex (morals aside) is the possible consequence of pregnancy. This young couple obviously has no financial ability to deal with such a situation so then their problem becomes the parents (or societys). In this sense they shouldn't in fact have the freedom to do as they wish since they can't afford the consequences.
You may think I am superficial for breaking the problem down in terms of money. But if you are the one paying for other people's mistakes then I can assure you it is a serious issue.
2007-02-18 05:29:25 · answer #2 · answered by mathguy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No don't start letting that happen "Is this the child asking or the parent?"???? I dont know whats wrong here seems the checks are in the wrong place..I understand they are of an age to make it on their own. You may want to protect them and keep them in your home .If the boy isnt happy with the rules move on and get your own place. Then he can make all your own decisions and rules Voting is screwy here .YOU TEENS WILL UNDERSTAND MY POINT WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR OWN KIDS AND FROM THE SOUND OF IT ALL TO SOON--..or is it that we ruin your fun.We are looking out for your best intrests. Im frustrated now (If you teens want to play house pay your own way.)Sorry for the freak out. I just dont understand this voting here thats all.Make sure you ask the girls parents if they have issues with this. They may. The Question would be are they responsible enough.? Do they have jobs? If someting did happen who would care for the baby.? Would it be you? your son ? or a poor girl left alone with a child w /out father etc.... Relationships are complex. Things change when you live on your own. Make sure they are ready for the commitment that they might create. Laying around together on a bed will lead to these things. I would not encourage the behaivor at all.
Ask yourself a question Do you think they have a good realtionship? Do you think its just a phase and they probally wont stay together? answering these questions might change your thoughts on the subject..
Honestly now I have done this and now I'm older. I have kids and I know that I wouldn't let mine do like my parents let me. And at the time I thought they were so strict.They wernt. I This will eventually lead to things teens experimenting and all if they arnt already. You cant see them every second. There is a moment here and there that they could . I did do things when my parents were home. Its not so hard to hide it if you really try. And it may not be just sex. Maybe they are touchin under a blanket in the living room . Saying they are cold ... watch for this behavior I'm guilty. I'm sure I wasn't the only one.Im sure many have done it. Yes the door was open. And that didn't matter. Sometimes in the same room . They never knew noticed that we were sharing a blanket. If they want to they will. So make it clear what you expect and stick to the rules. explain why you feel they cant do this in your home and the risks they are taking . Watch carefully for odd behaivor.check in often. I was lucky nothing bad happen to me.A baby etc... Set some rules and have a talk.
2007-02-18 05:09:57 · answer #3 · answered by luvtopaint 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes 17 and 18 are quite old- a lot of kids are having sex younger than that. My boyfriend was allowed to sleep in my room when I was 18 and he was 17.
My first boyfriend and I dated for 4 years (12-16 years of age) and at that age the rule was that we had to have the bedroom door open if we were in there. He had a big house too but we always ended up in his bedroom talking, kissing and fooling around. They are probably kissing and having dry sex or even just cuddling but they want privacy, which at their age I think is fair enough.
If you are worried then have a talk with your son to make sure that he knows all about using protection etc in case they are having sex.
Every household has different rules and if you are comfortable with them doing that then it is fine
2007-02-19 22:16:03 · answer #4 · answered by renee.emily 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter if they are in the room or in front of you. My mom had the same rule no boys in the room EVER I still had sex and got pregnant at 17 and it wasn't in my mom's house so it don't matter where he is if it is going to happen it will. But me older and as a mother now I don't know how I would feel he is 18. You know your child more then anyone.
2007-02-18 04:24:14 · answer #5 · answered by Mommyof3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your uncomfortable with it sit them both down and talk to them, let them know how you feel. Or let them know to leave the bedroom door open, but i was with my boyfriend(now husband) at the time. I was 17 and he was 18. If theyre haveing sex, you cant really prevent it, but just try to educate them on the risks or at least if theyre not ready to take on the responsiblity of raiseing a baby if it were to happen, ask to take the girl to get birth control which is a responsible thing to do. hope this helps
2007-02-18 04:30:16 · answer #6 · answered by camrenalexis2 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If they must be in the bedroom, make sure that there is a rule so the door is open. Set other ground rules like this and you should be fine.
2007-02-18 04:32:52 · answer #7 · answered by Elizabeth 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are both young adults, but let them know you are not comfortable with it. But leave it at that, no need to pry or interfere with their relationship etc. If they want to have sex they will just go elsewhere to include a motel if they have the cash.
2007-02-18 04:51:29 · answer #8 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No - not a good idea. My parents foolishly let me do that when I was young. You'd be surprised the things you can do to each other under a blanket, with your clothes on - and nobody knows!!
2007-02-18 06:29:38 · answer #9 · answered by Zabes 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes by all means I mean you are 17! As long as the clothes stay on it is just fine and dandy!
2007-02-21 08:41:01 · answer #10 · answered by robeangirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋