leaving baby at nursery for the first time - help?

Question

My baby is 6 months old and I have visited the day nursery with him numerous times but i still feel torn apart when i think of leaving him there for a whole 8 hours. He starts soon for 3 days a week and i can't even talk about it, it hurts so much. Will it get easier? - please share your experiences...

Answer 1

It is normal for a good mother to feel the anxiety of leaving her child with someone else. It will get easier with time. Be sure you let your caretaker know that you feel anxious about leaving baby. A good caretaker will assure you everything will be fine and for you to call anytime you want to check on your baby.

Do just that. Call to reassure yourself that baby is fine. They will call you if there are any questions they have or if there is a problem.

Drop by unannounced to see how baby is adjusting to his new surroundings. Just don't let baby see you or they will get upset because they think it is time to go with you. This only makes your caretakers job harder by having to start the day over with your baby. Or take off an hour or so early and check on baby, that way if the baby sees you it will be ok, because you are ready to take him home anyway.

Remember your caretaker is busy all day taking care of more than just your child. Some days you may find the caretaker busy with another child and your child unhappy because he needs attention, too. Don't fret. As long as this is not a regular thing everything is fine.

Just a little tip. Sometimes even after baby has adjusted to you leaving they may go through a stage of crying when you leave them. This does not mean baby is unhappy there. Step outside and listen to see how long it takes baby to stop crying. Most of the time when mommy is out of sight baby is fine. I always told new mommies baby put on the show so they will know how much they are loved by baby. As long as crying stops soon you should not have anything to worry about.

But, it is very common for baby to start this crying even if they have never cried before. It is just a stage they go through.

But as always with your child follow your gut instinct. If your gut tells you something is wrong, check it out.

One of the most important things you can do is get to know the caretaker. Keep the lines of communication open. Communicate your fears, communicate your worries, ask them questions. Put little thank you notes in your bag for them on occasion. They are fill in moms and all moms like to feel appreciated. They will think you are pretty special, too because you take the time to recognize that they are a very important part of your child's life.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I cried when i left my son at nursery for his first full day and at work i was a mess, kept feeling guilty for what i was doing and for what i was missing out on. Knowing that the staff were going to experience things that i should be. But over time it became easier as the staff were lovely and i knew he was well looked after and was happy. He had lots of toys to play with and soon didn't notice that i was leaving he'd be straight off playing!! My son is 3 now and is at the same nursery and is an extremely bright boy and i know deep down that i made the right decision even if it broke my heart at first.

Answer 3

Hi there,
leaving your treasured baby for the first time is always hard but just think of how he will benefit from the stimulating environment. My child went to nursery and it did not do him any harm. It used to break my heart leaving him sometimes BUT he really did learn so much from the nursery that i alone could not have taught him. He was more than ready for infant school by 4 and a half.
he also benefited from the interaction with other children. Even though your baby is young he will still benefit from it. My son is 13 now and is still friends with some of the friends he made in nursery!!!!!

Answer 4

I haven't got a baby, so I won't try and tell you anything from that side. But I have worked in day nurseries and most children, even those who find the separation really hard, will recover quickly and enjoy their time there. 3 days is probably a good time, as I know babies who've only come in for 1 day a week, and they never get used to it, as 7 days is suc a long time for them. At least your baby has the best of both worlds. Try to make it a positive ecperience for him- say goodbye to him happily and give yourself a few minutes to recover before you drive on to work. If he is upset if you ask the nursery staff they will phone you once he is settling ok.
Good luck

Answer 5

I went through the same thing, I felt nauseated and more scared than I ever had in my whole life. I cried on my way to work after I dropped him off. But, it does get easier and my son(8 months old) is always in the best mood after I pick him up because he likes to play with other babies. I think it has helped him to develop too, because he sees new things and has new experiences. I only work part time, so I don't have to drop him off everyday, which is a blessing. But, I feel like it's good for babies to get out of the house and away from Mommy and Daddy sometimes, it really helps them not to become so attached. And, oh my gosh, it is the best feeling in the world when you leave work to go pick them up. I always catch myself smiling in the car on my way to get him, because I'm so excited and I know he'll be so excited to see me. And then I just play with him and love on him the rest of the day because I missed him so much. So, anyway I hope this helped you. I know how hard it is, but it will get better. Good luck!

Answer 6

I used to work at a preschool in the infant/toddler room and I always saw mothers coming in to drop off their babies and they would cry sometimes. To make them feel a little better, I would tell them to come by the preschool whenever you feel you need to and just peek in the windows and check on him/her. It's a lot better than some of the parents coming inside the room to check on the kids because then the child would see mommy and just cry all over again. But it really will get better. Once the child adapts to the surroundings and gets used to the workers there, it will be a whole lot easier. Hang in there and be strong.

If you notice that your baby just isn't getting used to staying there, then I'd think there is a problem. But give it a few weeks and see how things go.

Answer 7

i have been a nursery nurse for many years and i see many parents come in feeling the same way as you do and it will get easier just give it time and you can always ring the nursery through out the day to check how your baby is doing.

Answer 8

I am a nursery nurse and u are not the only person feeling like this! I will be hard for you and your baby, but you have to remember that you are leaving your child with someone who loves children and will look after them as if they were their own. You say you've visted the nursery so you know by now whether or not you feel comfotable leavin him with them. I'm sure you'll be fine and it will definitly get easier!!!!

Answer 9

The first time I dropped by daughter off at daycare it hurt, but I actually didn't cry until I made it back to the car. I had to call my husband cause I was so upset. He assured me that she would be fine. Which she actually was. My advice call once or twice to make sure she is ok or on your lunch break stop by but don't let him see you cause that will just make him upset. It does get easier especially when you see how much he enjoys it.

Answer 10

It gets easier and think how much fun your child will have nursery can offer so many experinces and provide your child with friends for life .