My husband and I have been married 5 years and have one baby daughter. He owns his own business and therefore works long hours throughout the week. We made a joint decision that I leave my career to raise our daughter. The major problem that is severely affecting our marriage is that he is never home and when he is, he is in our home office working more. I understand the need to work M-Fr because he does own his business. But he fills his weekends with social activities with his friends...golf, fantasy sports, outdoor shows, sporting events etc etc. I try and focus on the positives...he isn't out drinking or cheating. He works hard to provide for us. We live in a beautiful home and have everything. But what I want more than anything is a husband that spends time with us. I could divorce, resume my career and start over without him but I'd have to share custody of our daughter and I can't stomach the thought of not seeing her half the week. I have so much resentment!!!
2007-02-18 04:01:12 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to tell him. I presume there was a time you both were best friends and you could tell eachother anything. He has to love you enough still to care about how you feel.
2007-02-18 04:05:58 · answer #1 · answered by here_nor_there 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your brother is reverting to his adolescence in an effort to bond with the brother that he was never able to bond with. In the process, he has become a negative role model for his brother and for your children. Something to ask yourself: Was he treating you this way before you moved in with his parents? Why did you move in with his parents? I think you are correct that it will end once you move out, with or without him, however, each time you are all together, he will behave this way again. If this were me, I would sit down alone with him and tell him how you feel, being careful to avoid accusations. Explain to him that you and your children have noticed a negative change in him. I would plan time with him when just the two of you could be together (a date) and also have some father-child time as well where could spend a few hours alone with his kids. The other time is fair game for his brother to spend time with all of you, provided your husband treats you with respect. If you have honestly tried all of these solutions and he is still acting immaturely, I'd move out with the kids. He'll get the hint.
2016-03-29 01:20:18 · answer #2 · answered by Amber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, you need to realize that owning your own business is a 24/7 committment. he does not have the luxury of calling in sick. now if you really want to spend time with him, why don't you fix a picnic lunch and take it to the office. with lunch already made he could probably take 30-45 minutes down time. for the weekend book a hotel room and the 2 of you spend the weekend without the daughter. make sure you tell him to mark it off on his calendar. in the evening wait for him to come home and meet him at the front door. before he can go to the home office suggest you two have a glass of wine and just talk. you have to take control of this situation because you are not a victim here. let him know where he is lacking and tell him you are willing to meet him half way but he needs to share himself with you. Good Luck!
2007-02-18 04:24:03 · answer #3 · answered by toyloy27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go back to work - even if it means your income will just cover your child care costs. Some women are just not cut out to be full time mothers and that leads to a lot of resentment and loss of self esteem. Working might give you and your husband more to talk about outside of the children and the house. Your husband might surprise you by being grateful you are taking some of the financial burden and stress off his shoulders.
2007-02-18 04:26:49 · answer #4 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then I suggest you had better face this head on. Make the time to talk to him. If you don't then a bad situation is going to get worse. Make you case to him clear and to the point. Family divided cannot stand on it's own. Being a family man is more than just providing. It's being there as well and it would seem he is not. If he can't change his ways for the sake of his family,you will have to.
2007-02-18 04:10:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he resents the fact that you do get to spend time at home so he chooses to stay away because that is what he knows. I am married to a Marine and trust me I know what it is like to have an absent husband and father for my son. You just have to talk to him about it. Don't get mad, because it's probably much deeper than he would like to admit. Men are complicated ya know? Most of the time they mean well, but we just miss the signs.
2007-02-18 05:17:25 · answer #6 · answered by orchid0923 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The concern to me is that you say well i could get a divorce and he doesn't spend enough time with the family but you don't say you love him or miss him??
And divorce seems like it is an answer to you?? DO you still love him??
2007-02-18 04:07:35 · answer #7 · answered by BLONDE BEAUTY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest honesty, tell him how you feel point blank. a trial separation could make him see what he stands to loose if he doesn't become an active member of the family.
2007-02-18 04:06:06 · answer #8 · answered by jenniferjwhite1979 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell your husband that you have needs that need to be met too...and try to schedule some time together on the weekends.
2007-02-18 04:04:32 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be very honest with your spouse. MY marriage suffered just like yours. I finally convinced him to go to counseling. THat was all it took. The counselor pointed out to him that my feelings were legit and things began to change.
2007-02-18 04:15:09 · answer #10 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋