my mum and dad have spilt up HELP?

Question

my mum n dad have spilt up because of my dads best friend having an affair with my mum and i am finding it difficult for him being at my mums and want my mum to spend time with me not him please somone help suggest how i can get my mum to spend time with me

Answer 1

Hiya, sorry to hear about your problems. I just thought i would pass some advice having been in the same situation, but from a dads point of view. My wife had a fling with my best mate and it destroyed my marriage, however much i loved her and forgave her, the fling ended 25 years together. However, like in your case, the biggest suffering was caused to my lovely 18 year old daughter who still lives with me, she no longer speaks to her mother and hates her guts, even though she does not know the full truth. I know it must be heart wrenching for you, in the situation, but try to mentally stand back and think. Ask yourself? Do i realy know what caused mum and dad to split up. Dont take any blame on your shoulders but however much you love your dad, maybe your mum needs some love too. Our kids arent always the first to know when things are going bad, but they usually end up being the first to be hurt. Try and sit down and talk with her, dont take sides straight away, if your mum and dad are adults, they will want whats best for you and they will both need your love, just as much as you need theirs. Remember , time is a healer, take nobodies side and dont judge unless you know the full story. Whatever happens, best of luck.

From Someone elses dad!!

Answer 2

You don't say wether or not you have spoken to your mum about this. If you haven't then do so, if you have then try and tell her exactly how you feel again. Write it in a letter if you can't approach her. I know how hard it is for kids when their parents split, no matter what the reason is. What she has to realise is you have feelings to. Suggest that you both go shopping or for a walk, maybe she's finding the adjustment hard too, and she may feel she needs to spend more time with her new man to make the relationship work.

Answer 3

Sit down with your mother and talk with her, without him. Explain exactly how you feel about the situation. Parents separate, but she has forgotten how it affects you. Discuss it with her and I'm sure she will understand. Then you both can compromise. Don't get so caught up that you forget about her feelings as well. The separation will be difficult for your mother whether you see it or not. Instead of competing for her time, agree to take time each day just for the two of you and give her time to spend with him. It will work out. I went through it when I was 13 and we all came through just fine.

Answer 4

Try and ex plan to your mum how you are feeling. She may think that you are angry with her because of the marriage split. It is important for you to understand your mum has to have a life but it is also important for your mum to understand that you still need her. Why don't you arrange a day out with your mum where it is just the two of you it may make it easier to talk.

Answer 5

I know you need time with your mom. I don't know if this helps or not, but she has met someone new and right now she is going through the honeymoon stage of her new relationship with him. Try to be patient, tell your mom you love her and need her more than ever, walk up to her and give her a hug and ask her to please find some time for you because you need her. She will find a way, just be patient and it will all work out soon. Take care Heather

Answer 6

What a mess! Your mum has chosen to hurt the people that mean the most to her. I would tell her that I want to go live with my dad. And when she ask why, tell her that she has hurt your dad in the worst way possible and she is hurting you. And until she gets her priority's straight that you don't want to be there. She is being selfish and self centered.

Answer 7

why not leave your mum a not asking for some girly time together alone go to the cinema do some baking or just pamper each other by painting toe nails having facials etc and most importantly just talking aabout You and Your mum and NO one else good luck

Answer 8

I think you need to sit your mum down and talk to her. tell her how you are hurting and feeling.
If you don't find talking to her easy then write her a letter.

I'm sorry you are going through a rough time.

Answer 9

You have to sit down and tell your mum exactly how you feel she is probably so caught up in new relationship she hasnt thought of your feelings

Answer 10

parents spliting up is never easy on anyone involved. talking to your mum may help but it's probably something she needs to see for herself. eventually she will wake up and smell the coffee and see how its affecting you. good luck hun and find a close friend to confide in and talk to about it...it's never easy...my parents split when i was 3 and i wasn't until i was 12 that i finally excepted it!