She is in alot of pain because of her hip. ( we went to doctor her hip isn't broken. He said she has muscle pain. I recently bought a scooter for her. I said let's try to use it so she tried to get on it and with much pain did. She has a small house and the scooter hits some of the chairs in her house. I said lets move them SHe Said no they have been there for years. I also noticed she put 2 dirty coffee cups from coffee in the refrigirator. I want to take her to the doctor to see whats up with her she said NO You DONT Im fine. SHe has me concerned. How can I do this? She won't take some good advice. Help?
2007-02-18 01:58:39 · 9 answers · asked by Lynn H 1 in Health ➔ General Health Care ➔ Injuries
This is really hard. I know -- I've been there too. It sounds like your mom has been self sufficient for so long, it's hard letting go. And she is set in her ways which is why she doesn't want you moving stuff. Is she on any medication for her pain? If not, that might be one way to get her to the doctor, so he can prescribe some medication for her discomfort.
You could also call the doctor you'd like her to see (I assume someone w/experience in geriatrics?) and ask her/him for advice on how to get her there. The doctors must see this situation a lot, so they may have advice. What worked for me, after much pleading, was finally just saying, just please do it for me. Help me have peace of mind. Do it for me, please.
What might also help is if you could get her to wear one of those alert necklaces that people use if they fall and are unable to get help. It calls for help for them. (I was unsucessful in getting her to wear this, but it would have been great if she had)
All my best to you and your mom.....How nice for her that she has you.
2007-02-18 02:07:03 · answer #1 · answered by Liza 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother-in-law is 81 and she's the same way. Last week I had to call the fire dept. to get her out of the bathtub. She has bad arthritis in her knees and has trouble getting around. I bought her a bath bench to use for the tub and it's still in the box. She refuses to take showers because she likes her bath. I don't argue with her anymore I just call and check in every day. That's about all I can do. She's an adult like she says, and I can't force her to do anything. Your not alone their are a lot of people going through the same thing.
As for her forgetting I bought her word puzzle books that she does in the evening, seems to help her remember things. I also make lists for her each day of stuff that has to be done or appointments and then a family member checks it. That way we all know what is going on. She has never driven so we have found a bus service that will take her to appointments and cardio twice weekly. Otherwise we rotate taking her to the doctor etc.
I know it's not easy and good luck to you! Just remember she's your mom and she loves you giving up her independence is not easy for her.
2007-02-18 02:20:46 · answer #2 · answered by ????? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Mom (83) is having hip problems as well. I took her to the chiropractor and she was in pain because her pelvis was out of alignment. He did an adjustment and she felt much better. Still needs to keep putting ice on it because of the muscle strain but she said the relief was immediate. She calls & tells me when it starts to get bad again & I take her back.....about once every 3 to 4 weeks. My Mom walks EVERY day and has just stopped taking stairs when her hip started giving her problems - mostly at my request because I was afraid it would seize on her & she'd fall. She does hip rolls & leg extensions every morning before she gets out of bed to help loosen up her joints before trying to walk.....she says it really helps.
Your Mom shouldn't be using the scooter in the house. She needs to have the exercise to keep mobile. Once she stops walking she will seize up and won't be able to get around on her own.
If the only weird thing she has done is the dirty coffee cups in the fridge - don't worry about it. How often have we done something odd - just means she was distracted. Our parents don't want to become dependent on us so just take it slow & keep your eye out for further problems....but don't hover....she'll just get mad.
Good luck & be patient with her. I hope she will agree to the chiropractor. He's been a great help with my Mom.
2007-02-18 02:12:22 · answer #3 · answered by Lucy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After reading your question, a couple of things concern me. First, her judgement seems to be impaired if she doesn't consider the chairs a hazard. Second, the dirty coffee cups in the refrigerator imply poor attention to task. Both are signs of early dementia, or perhaps pseudodementia from the pain medication. I hope you have durable power of attorney for healthcare! She will eventually have to go back to the doctor for something; make sure you go with her, and make your concerns known to her doctor.
2007-02-18 14:18:18 · answer #4 · answered by boogeywoogy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you going to be in the car with her? IF not.. dont worry.. Just kidding.. If you are seriously concerned then I would speak to someone else about it to get their thoughts about it.. If they dont care or dont see your side of it ask someone else.. If no one sees your concerns then it must be one of the following... 1. You are being over dramatic and probably have nothing to worry about. 2. Everyone is ok with it because they secretly hope she gets into an accident and dies. Now if I thought it was the latter. I would probably take matters in my own hands and mention the driving problem to the police and they can handle the matter. Now I dont know how much you like or dislike your 82 yo step mom... How old are you BTW? But because she could possibly kill someone else during her trip and not only herself, I would report her to the proper authorities!
2016-03-29 01:13:55 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are going through. My mother is very stubborn and independent. When parents get older there mind is not as sharp as it once was. But they don't want to give in to the fact they need a little extra help. I know there is a program meals on wheels. Where they will bring a hot lunch out to them once a day. perhaps this could help. It seems as if she is getting forgetful. You my ask about a test to check her mental status to see if it is safe to leave her home alone.. Maybe a phone call to your doctor can help head you in the right direction.
2007-02-18 05:32:14 · answer #6 · answered by Janst 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
82 is a good long run... her brain and body are worn out, eventually she is going to die (as are we all) Your job now is to decide for her (whether she agrees with you or not) how best for her to be happy and safe, living at home alone where she could fall and die broken and alone, slowly dying of thirst and in pain, or in an assisted living facility where professionals can take proper care of her. It is an awful decision to have to make, but consider how awful the wrong decision might be for her and you both. Could you live with yourself if she, in a demented state, did something to harm herself or others? Talk to some people who are in the same boat and include your mother in the decision making process but ultimately you are the one with all your faculties intact and you need to make the decision and stick to it.
2007-02-18 02:11:57 · answer #7 · answered by eggman 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She is old enough to know what she wants let her come to you
2007-02-18 02:01:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you hav to convince her somehow or i will kill you cause she is your life and your mother which noone can substitute
2007-02-18 02:02:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋