His ex wife is beautiful. As if my self-esteem weren't low enough I found a text message he had written to her that said, "i still think about the days when i was madly in love with you."
As far as I knew, they weren't even on speaking terms. What could all this mean? He told me he had no love for her and that she was a total *****. She's manipulative and withholds his son from him... I don't know what to think.
2007-02-18 01:55:27 · 24 answers · asked by Carley 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not a guy!!!
2007-02-18 02:05:08 · update #1
First of all when you married a man with a child, you committed yourself to the ex-wife... forever.
Second, confidence is attractive. If you are making it HIS responsibility to build your self-esteem then of course he is going to be attracted to someone that is a lot less work, what idiot wouldn't.
Third, he loved this woman enough to marry and have children with of course he is going to have good memories of her, that's common sense.
If you think you are losing him then you need to fix YOU. You need to make yourself attractive enough (and I don't just mean physically) so that he doesn't give a damn about ANY other women.
This is not hard. You already know what he likes, what turns him on, what makes him feel like a man. Feed your marriage don't choke it to death with a lot of emotional garbage.
2007-02-18 02:06:50 · answer #1 · answered by David P 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, what a blow! No wonder your self esteem is bruised. You need to remind him of why is she his "EX". What is the reason that they split up? I don't think that I would ever trust him. I can't understand what this guy is thinking! He must still have some kind of feelings for her in order to say anything like that to her. It sounds like he has given you the wrong impression about more than just not on speaking terms. I feel bad for you. But if she is all that and they are not together I'm curious as to who is the one who wanted out him or her. Its always hard to know that an ex is nice looking and they have a child together. My husbands ex has a really nice body and I have put on so much weight that I hate to know that he even sees her when he picks up his son. And the fact that she has a son with him and we have no children together I feel like they have something together that I will never have with him. So it is very hard to deal with. I hope you find your answers. good luck.
2007-02-18 02:42:44 · answer #2 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sophia Loren, once voted the most beautiful woman in the world said..." For the first five minutes my looks get me by.... after that I have to prove I have a personality" Why did these men go with you? You must be attractive in some way.... and then they stay because they like your personality..... don't ever try to compete against others, especially when there isn't a competition going on...
2016-03-29 01:13:27 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does it mean?
Well one of two things
A.) He Tex messaged the wrong person?
Mistaken her for you? Ya, sure OK.
B.) Thinking with little head, not the big head!
You don't know what to think?
Well being their a child involved he will always be dealing with the x and so will you if you stay with this man.
So big question is- Should you stay or should you go?
Your decision but doesn't look to promising for you if you stay.
Life is to short to waste on someone Else's leftover's.
Why have chopped liver when steak and potatoes is out there?
2007-02-18 02:13:35 · answer #4 · answered by Bluelady... 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jamie,
He is still in love with her. It may not be enough to cause your marriage to break up, but it's not to say that it won't. Unless he can put the feelings for her behind him there will probably be a problem. The dishonesty about it though is a major trust issue that you may want to carefully consider. Trust is one of the major building blocks to a strong and long marriage - if it ain't there then you don't have a marriage.
2007-02-18 02:50:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the meaning is obvious, he still has feelings for his "ex". As far as her being "beautiful", the problem is your self-esteem, not her "beauty".
When people get involved with someone who was married before, they often expect that their new partner will "hate" his "ex" and never bother with his "children". How sad that would be for everyone, especially the children.
Divorced people often have feelings for their "ex", it doesn't mean that they are going to run back to them. It also doesn't mean that they would ever be able to live with them again.
What it does mean is that they are a decent person who shared a life with someone and they still want the best for them. If they have children those feelings are often more complicated.
Children need both of their parents. Just because your partner divorced his wife, doesn't mean he divorced his children. He was their father long before he was your partner. There is always going to be some form of "contact" between him and his "ex". Unless you learn to deal with that, you are going to be a very unhappy person.
There is no reason why anyone who is divorced cannot maintain contact with their "ex", see their children, and still manage to love someone new. All it takes is maturity, understanding and cooperation.
Everyone deserves to be happy, the choice is yours. I wish you well.
2007-02-18 02:22:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
At the time he typed the text he was thinking of her in a physical way. Men's translation of "being madly in love" means "having awesome wild sex"!!!!
2007-02-18 02:00:31 · answer #7 · answered by CC Top 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just keep telling yourself, beauty is only skin deep, and her loss is your gain. You would not be with him right now if she was all that. Some Ex's just like to keep men hanging on, not wanting them but not letting go. He will see for himself that she is just using him. I don't think texting to any female is appropriate when your married, especially what you found. Confront him with it and see what he says.
2007-02-18 02:10:03 · answer #8 · answered by sassywv 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As an ex myself...I tell you with with Honestly
RUN FOREST RUN.
My ex always comes over and always has...he has gone through 6 girl friends.....he used to come and crawl in my bed.
I don't let him do that an More,,,but I used too.
I still ride on the .Harley with him...but she will never find out because she lives like 2 hours away.
All I mean...is you better leave...he is not through with his EX....sounds like mine...she is still in his heart.
2007-02-18 02:07:47 · answer #9 · answered by Bobbie4u 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well aren't you beautiful... Maybe you need to talk to him about the text message and find out where he is at in this relationship and why did he send it. Be simple and clear in your questions and see what his response is....
2007-02-18 02:19:58 · answer #10 · answered by singsong 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋