would I be a bad friend if I told my best friend that I don't want her boyfriend to be around me?

Question

This guy cheated on her, lied to her, used her for sex, told her empty promises and is a very bad attention whore when he's around. When she succeeds at something he just shoots her down with a "no you did this and this wrong..." Any time he's at my house or around me I get extremely annoyened by his fakeyness, loudness, put-downs and non-stop chatter. He also ruhtlessly eats all the food in MY own house as well as! She keeps on crawling back to him when he tells her he'll change...I can't stress to her enough that he'll NEVER change, he's done this to her for over 2 years! Do you think I should tell her that this time when she gets back with him, I don't want him any where me and my family?

Answer 1

Friends in our lives can be wonderful. Toxic people can really drive you crazy. I am sure that if you have been friends for many years, she knows you well enough to know that you do not want to have anything to do with her boyfriend.

He is one of those people who sounds like a loser, a fake and a user. Some people do not have enough self value to want better relationships for themselves. If this boyfriend is annoying to you to the extent that you do not want him anywhere near you and your family, that is your answer.

Sometimes when any of us are in these types of situations, we can maintain a friendship, on a limited basis, with the original friend; and other times we have to walk away from the friendship in order to survive the toxic attachment.

You can nicely sit down with your friend and tell her that you would like to remain friends with her, but will not put up with the bad behavior from her boyfriend and do not want him anywhere around you and your family. Sometimes we have to stand up for our own needs.

Your friend may get upset at you, and walk away, but this may be what she needs to make her realize that she is is a no-win situation with this so-called boyfriend. It is difficult to deal with the thought of losing a friend, but we have to think of the future and how much negativity we should be dealing with.

I have had incidences in my life, where I have had to walk away from friends with "toxic" significant others. Many times these friends have come back into my life, when things have improved, and other times they have not; but that is out of my control.

If you are feeling that you do not want this person anywhere near you and your family, put an end to it. You do not have to put up with bad behavior. Best of luck to you and your family. Have a good day.

Answer 2

You're right in so many was, but sometimes even if we are right we've got to let our friends make their own mistakes. It sounds like she's made them for awhile know, but all you can do is be there for her. Show her you're the one who'll be there for her until the end. It'll hurt to see your friend go through so much crap, but you've got to trust that she'll eventually catch on. If you do not want the guy in your house, then that's your choice. Explain to her the reasons why you don't want him around. Be gentle with her, it seems like she has some personality issues. Just be the good friend you know you are, she'll come around.

Answer 3

Well, you could tell her that when you two hang out together, you don't want him around either of you. Or just start being really rude to him. I'm a fighter, so I tend to challenge guys, who I don't like the way they treat my friends, to a fight. And usually there are so taken off by a girl wanting to fight them, they usually say no. And, of course I kind of have a name for myself in this town, cause I don't like anyone whom lies or treats women badly.

Answer 4

Unless see is blind or in denial .Tell her that you don't care to have him over to your house, All the whining when they break up.That it's not healthy for him to be around your family.That is her call stand your ground.