My boyfriend is a marraige-phobic!
2007-02-18 00:59:58 · 14 answers · asked by myrza_az 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Marriage is not a prize to be won. I have been married for 14 yrs and I asked my wife to marry me because SHE WAS THE ONE. Guys don't typically sit around dreaming of the perfect wedding. At less for me it was the fact that I LOVED this woman so much I could not see my life anymore without her. She is just so awesome in every way, like no other woman I had ever meet. All I could think of was I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this woman. I wanted the kind of life my parents had, a life full of love and children. Wow! I had never thought I'd want to get married and there I was looking for a ring. Now, I have 14 yrs behind me and two beautiful little girls. Lucky me.
Remember marriage is not all fun and games. Both of you must really really want this in order for it to work. If not then you might be setting yourself up for failure. Divorce should not be an Option. So think about this it will be the hardest thing you ever do in your life, patients, understanding and the ability to forgive is a must. Both of you will make a lot of little mistakes, so remember, it doesn't mean that either of you don't love each other. It takes TWO for this to really work. So good luck and God bless. I hope I was able to answer your question. : )
2007-02-18 01:43:31 · answer #1 · answered by SA41TX 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Then leave him. Get a back bone, and tell him if he can not sign some papers, and attend your wedding for the day then you do not need to continue the relationship. It's true, if you do not stand up for yourself in life, you will regret it. I have a friend who has been waiting 9 years for her man to propose... and we all know it won't happen. When a man truly loves you, he no longer will be a marraige-phobic. He will want to make sure the 2 of you are commited forever. So if he can't do this for you, if he can not commit, he never will. Got it? It is hard to admit yo yourself that he does not love you as much as you love him, in fact, he may not love ou at all. I guess you will find out if you follow my advice. A man who loves a woman, would never let her go over a marriage-phobic issue.
2007-02-18 09:34:14 · answer #2 · answered by Robyn R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to listen to yourself.
"to get your bf to marry you"
Not the way to look at it.
Maybe your into that idea, but obviously he isn't at this time.
If you have to think up ways to try and get him to do it, then if he does it won't be genuine.
I don't know how long you have been seeing each other, but if it has been a long time, you will need to let him know that you want more of a permanent commitment.
I believe by the way you call him a marraige-phobic you probably have already told him you want to be married.
It's a big commitment, he has to be sure it's what he wants.
In this day in age, divorces are easy to get, but getting married isn't supposed to have a safety valve called divorce if you dont like it in a couple years, takes alot of work.
2007-02-18 09:29:25 · answer #3 · answered by Mr R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand. I was the marriage-phobic man for a while. My future wife decided to to take matters into her own hands and said it was over. Life without was tough so I got engaged about 2 weeks after she said it was over. We have been married for 5years now and am happier than ever.
2007-02-18 09:08:38 · answer #4 · answered by hey you 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to marry you, you shouldn't want to marry him, not for any consideration. I am sorry, I realise this will be unpalatable for you, but I would even question whether it's worth continuing the relationship. If he loved you, wouldn't he want to marry you?
There is an excellent book called "He's Just Not That Into You" and I recommend you read it. Not suggesting you should take all it says as gospel, but it may offer food for thought.
2007-02-18 09:16:53 · answer #5 · answered by Specsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Respect yourself, don't have sex with him, and let the guy pay for the dates. Sounds old fashioned but people used to get married in the old days. If he pays for the dates you can be sure he won't waste your time for five years. If he drops you like a hot rock, you can be sure he's not the one.
2007-02-18 10:03:53 · answer #6 · answered by PF32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he isn't the marrying kind then there not much hope. Don't get pregnant as that a disaster waiting to happen. Give him some time if you think there is hope,if not move on.
2007-02-18 10:38:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dating is about one of two things: recreation or finding a mate. He just wants to lay on top of you and grind away, and you want someone to marry.
Does that sound like match to you?
2007-02-18 09:07:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you have to get married?
2007-02-18 09:15:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there, You can ask God to help you out with this. God will help you out. Good luck on it. Be brave. God bless you. God loves you.
2007-02-18 09:19:04 · answer #10 · answered by I Love My Friends 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋