2007-02-17 23:53:55 · 10 answers · asked by lea s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am a guy, I am not taking up for him by no means, I believe you are putting him through some agony in your own way by not letting him off the hook. But you at some point need to make a decision of how long this will continue. In my eyes everything that is wrong is the same, lies to your spouse, checking out other women and so on, to me it is all the same, wrong, But have you ever met a perfect person, no, there aren't any. People make mistakes, he may never do this again and he may do it as soon as you let him off the hook. Holding this over his head for a little while should have been sufficient, it also gives you a (get out of jail free card) so to speak. Continuing to hold this over him is taking you to a point of no return. You will eventualy will be in disgust by his touch and by his presence. If he has made a real effort to make a mends then let it go, I am not saying to turn a blind eye to him, If you haven't treated to badly then you can have so much, ya know your a woman and your supposed to know these things. It has been way too long now to have that special talk with him. If it comes up again then tell him he has had his fun and next time you are taking him for everything he has and then some. As far as you getting over it, well your dwelling on it, if you choose to be over it then you will, you can forgive him and not even have to discuss it with him. If he has never really said he was sorry then it is over and you should move on with your life without him. I hope I was some help, Good luck.
2007-02-18 00:42:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so hard. It takes a lot of time to get over a severe injury.
If your fiance had hurt you physically...say pushed you down the stairs and injured your back. Even though 4 years had passed...you'd probably still suffer from back pain, and maybe will forever. You'd learn to live with it...
Sometimes emotional injuries are no different. You have been scarred and are now somewhat disabled. Even though time has passed and I assume your fiance has never done this again and you love him..things will never be the same. You have changed. Even if you've healed...there is sometimes a scar that is ugly and continues to get in the way of a true healing.
The thing you need to do is work on dealing with your feeling. Make sure your fiance helps you...he needs to talk with you and try to make you feel secure. He needs to give you extra love and affection and he needs to promise it will never happen again...and then see that it doesn't.
Eventually, you'll be able to move on. But 4 years is not a lot of time for a painful injury like that. Give it more time and work on healing together.
2007-02-18 00:03:15 · answer #2 · answered by Misty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was cheated on, I couldn't forgive or forget no matter how much he wanted me to, I didn't deserve to be treated that way, so I walked away from a 20 year marriage. I am engaged now for 4 years and when we first met and started dating I told him about how I felt and how it made me sick to think a person could do this to someone that loved them. His Ex also cheated on him through out his marriage. It took me a long time to trust another man to love them. I will never go through that pain and heartache again. Everyone has different circumstances to deal with, I choose not to deal with a cheating person, it's like a disease that eats at your self esteem and the ability to reason it all out. I know there are women/men every day that do forgive their loved one, I just couldn't do it. If your having problems handling it, it may be best for you to just walk away and find someone that will love you and give you the respect and love you deserve as well.
2007-02-18 00:07:13 · answer #3 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yah, move on, stop wasting your and his time. If you're not going to get over it you are either insecure/immature or you're darn well right in feeling distrustful. Either way, the two of you aren't a match as it stands.
2007-02-18 00:22:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
since u still have fiance in your mind, it means your are ready to forgive and reconcile. so go ahead and embrace
2007-02-18 00:03:06 · answer #5 · answered by beatleleaf 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've tried, and failed, for four years, you NEVER will "get over it". You've tried long enough...time to move on! Good Luck!!
2007-02-17 23:59:38 · answer #6 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...it is time to either get over it or move on with your life....if he hasn't proven to you that it was a mistake and it won't happen again, then he will never be able to .....good luck
2007-02-17 23:56:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably it is better to go to counseling.
2007-02-18 00:05:04 · answer #8 · answered by OC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on with your life it will eat at you forever
2007-02-18 00:32:53 · answer #9 · answered by shobudjr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just dump him.
2007-02-18 00:00:31 · answer #10 · answered by jason46242003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋