My friend's son was behaving really bad, mean to her and his sister, disohnest, even slandered. She decided it was too much, took away almost everything from him, told him he's a bad person, a bad character, doesn't deserve respect and love and she'll
give him only what is her duty. He finally awoke and is now in despair,devastated, but she's irreducible. Can this be changed or is this forever?
2007-02-17 23:26:45 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
A Mother's love should be unconditional. To tell him he doesn't deserve respect and love is just creating major self esteem problems that will plague him his whole life. The fact that his behavior could make her angry is one thing, but that it could change her love for him is something else. The Mom has a major problem and it sounds as if she is probably to blame for a lot of what is going on. Mothers don't act that way.
2007-02-17 23:31:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
I think you are handling it fine and I wouldn't be angry. If I were you I would act more concerned and disappointed. While he is away at his grandparents I would have him write a page letter writing down his feelings and why he did what he did and what might have been a better choice. Then when you pick him up from the grandparents and get home, you can sit down and have a nice talk about what he wrote and how you both feel and all. He is obviously a good kid and everyone has a bad day now and then. I would treat it like a big mistake and just talk to him. Hi grandparents is a good idea to give him some time to think.
2016-05-24 01:30:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the mother went too far. Some things that are said to a child of any age takes a long time to get over. Some things hurt a child so badly that they might not ever get over it; without a lot of work. She needs to get some help from a reliable source. Be careful not to make things worse. It probably can be fixed but not over night. Show the son, not always telling the son, how you feel and you are truly sorry. It may take a while for it to sink in. Be patient. It will be worth the work. There's nothing like your son.
2007-02-18 01:23:36 · answer #3 · answered by Barbra 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well. If she asked him more than once and she asked nicely and he disobeyed then yea. Because he is not being a good kid and is being disrespectful so maybe that is the only way she can think of. The stuff she said about him and how he doesn't deserve respect is kinda mean because in a way she is doin the same thing. But other than that she wants the best for him.
2007-02-18 02:44:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love should be unconditional.
I don't believe in telling anyone that they are a bad person. There is a difference between telling someone they are are a bad person and telling someone they mad bad choices. I too have had issues with my teenage son but we approached it as the choices he made were poor and he realized what he was doing and now things are great. Condemn the choice not the child.
2007-02-18 01:04:30 · answer #5 · answered by Bridgette B 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No i dont think it will be forever. Itll just take time. He will need to start showin some respect. Hopefully sooner or later they'll be able to respect each other. Its good that his mom took away his things because now he know that she means business and he needs to stop acting the way he does.
CB
2007-02-18 02:40:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That Mom was right to take away all of his things he doesn't necessarily need - he needs to earn them back with good behavior. But she was wrong in telling him how bad he is & that he doesn't deserve love. Love is probably what he needs most right now, that's probably what got him in this mess - an unloving & unsupportive family who pays him no attention. That mom needs to go to a class on raising children. She needs to say sorry for all the bad things she said & talk to him to discuss a way for him to earn his things back.
2007-02-18 00:36:07 · answer #7 · answered by tanner 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No I am sure its not forever but she isnt gonna be fooled by him doing some short termed changes she wants to see real progress and I respect her for it. Children even teens do need someone to rein them in when they get out of line. She did her job. He is gonna have to earn what he gets for a while.
2007-02-18 04:27:40 · answer #8 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I believe that a mum should love her children no matter what. So I think that if he cleaned up his act and is regretful for his prior acts, she should go back to the loving and caring mother figure.
2007-02-18 00:11:27 · answer #9 · answered by iluvfavre 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sure she is very hurt and as a human being, she also has to overcome her own dispair, or maybe she feels if she forgive too quick, he will not emmend his behavior for good. Sometimes for very big problems, very big solutions.
2007-02-17 23:52:25 · answer #10 · answered by esmefort 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋