I've know this girl for about a year, and really didn't start getting to know each other well until the last 6 mo. As I got to know her more I became rather attracted to her. Problem is friendship was established first. I mentioned my thoughts and feelings a few times, but she was refused to discuss and quickly dismissed them. I know she probably just doesn't want to hurt my feelings, but don't just ignore the issue, we're both adults.
We are both busy people and don't really have alot of time right now, but my thoughts were if you wait for the right time it won't be there and I don't want ignore my feelings only to get hurt in the end. We haven't spoke for three weeks, no attempts at communication from either party. I understand s*** happens deal with it, but what really gets me is I heard she wants to resume the friendship like nothing happened. Is it wrong for me not to want to be friends? I feel bad about this but simply ignoring the issue chaps my ***. What do u think?
2007-02-17 23:00:29 · 9 answers · asked by i_state_ur_name 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hi-bit of advice(wether good or bad) from the UK-I have been in the same position as yourself and have had it go both ways-one guy i let it drift and a year on i really really regret losing a good friendship and the other one well he's still a good friend and i feel happy to have him in my life!
You have to go with your instincts, but something brought you two together as friends in the first place and good ones you can trust are hard to find, maybe she doesn't feel as you do and really that does make it your problem not hers, but perhaps its just a stage in a deepening friendship and not a 'realationship' thing-I'd give it another go as friends and see how it goes.
Good luck
2007-02-17 23:08:35 · answer #1 · answered by EverhopefulScot 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should try to speak with her about it again. First invite her out for coffee or something, then talk casually before you bring it up. Tell her that you really don't want to lose her as a friend but you really need to know why she is reacting the way shes been reacting and even if her answer to your question might hurt you, you really need to know how she feels, so that you can put it behind you and go on being friends.
Friends can talk about anything and sometimes,they say hurt full things but if they discus it both parties know how the other one feels, but keeping quiet makes it worse and put unnecessary stress on any relationship. Good luck I hope this helps.
2007-02-17 23:27:08 · answer #2 · answered by a m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've known each other a year and she hasn't expressed any attraction, she probably doesn't feel any. Sometimes its tough to tell somebody you care about that you're not attracted to them.
But you have a right to have clarity in your relationships.
Ask her to have a serious talk. But first ask yourself, is it OK regardless of what her answer is? If it is, (and only if it is), tell her so. When she gives you the answer, you must accept it.
Once its totally clear, if its not the answer you wanted, you may need a few weeks away to let things settle. Or, you may not be able to be friends. it happens sometimes.
2007-02-17 23:23:55 · answer #3 · answered by netizen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey be persistant! pain is so much a part of life! we rock cradles over grave's we born 2 die. you cant avoid pain ! It is a part of living,let's u know Ur still alive.Sure be her fiend but let her know u have other intention's ur being her friend and u want more ! and she going 2 have acknowledge that u have strong feeling's 4 her. she might b looking 4 more out of u? like commitment!I wouldn't give up cause my feeling's may be hurt! I would be her friend and let her know how i feel! She might b riding the soup bone soon then u expected! just keep it real.
2007-02-17 23:45:11 · answer #4 · answered by sitting_in_th3_cut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if shes a great friend, she would have spoken to you about it instead of acting as though you never said a thing, its your choice if you wish to remain friends with her or not. but if you do, then i would suggest that maybe you wait for her to say something to you. maybe she may bring it up. as for her acting as though nothing has happened, then i think maybe just talk to her about it. i mean she hasnt spoken 4 three weeks, so what u have to lose
2007-02-17 23:10:21 · answer #5 · answered by louise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friendships are delicate. If you are feeling more for her than she wants, it will only hurt you more to continue the relationship. I would go your own way.
2007-02-17 23:05:33 · answer #6 · answered by Alterfemego 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try contacting her again. Based on the answer(s) you receive, you will know whether or not she's interested in a relationship, then take it from there.
2007-02-17 23:07:19 · answer #7 · answered by rustybones 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if at first you don't succeed, try again. let her know your feelings are running deeper, and if she shuts you down, then it's time to move on. it may hurt, but it will be better for the long run.
2007-02-17 23:07:53 · answer #8 · answered by billyjoemikey 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think she wants friendship only and you need to decide whether you can settle for that.
2007-02-17 23:07:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋