my boyfriend and i have known eachother since third grade, now he's 18, i'm 17 and we've been together for 6 months. I found out im pregnate 2 weeks ago the first thing he did was tell me he'd be there and started looking for a job. But now he tells me everyday he wants me to get an abortion, he doesnt want the baby AT ALL! My best friend and my brother also both said i shouldnt keep it but i dont belive in abortion. I REALLY wanna keep my baby but with no body supporting my decision i dont know what i can do...especially after i tell my prejudice white parents im having a black baby...i wont have a house or car anymore. Do you think my boyfriend will come around eventually? How should i tell my parents? ......what would you do.
2007-02-17 21:56:42 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
it is your mistake but the poor baby has to suffer- either by dying or my listening to others words..why cant you guys take care.. i feel you should try to conveince your boyfriend to keep the baby and support you, or be bold to face the world
2007-02-17 22:14:04 · answer #1 · answered by Richa 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The first thing you need to know that whatever you do is your decision. You may decide that the best thing for you is to keep the baby, give up the baby for adoption or even have an abortion, but each decision will have it's own consequence that you will have to live with. You should find a clinic that is non judgement and doesn't have it's own agenda and talk to them over you're various options.
I am not sure what to tell you about your parents. I think you should tell them I think you need someone there who can help you find the words you need.
I hope you get some counselling since this is a big decision. I will pray for you that you do have someone there who will listen to you and support you(your parents).
Good luck
2007-02-18 01:36:32 · answer #2 · answered by klbltwk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want your baby dont let anybody stop you from having and keeping it. Including your boyfriend and parents. Life may get hard for a while but you need to feel right about whatever desicion you make. Put yourself first and be strong. My friend had a baby by herself at 17 she is now 27 and has two uni degrees a nice boyfriend and a good life.
I would tell an Aunt, sister or cousin and get them to tell your parents if you are to scared to do it or have them with you.
Maybe organise somewhere you can go and stay straight afterwards and tell them you will come home in a few days when theyve had time to digest the information.
You are nearly an adult, be strong stay true to yourself and goodluck
2007-02-17 22:11:06 · answer #3 · answered by mixie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your bf may not come around but your parents probably will. If you want your baby then you must have it no matter what anybody says. If you abort your baby or give it up for adoption when in your heart you love it & want to keep it then you will live with heartache everyday. Just remember that if you love & want this baby then things have a way of working themselves out (even if you can't see it now). Just make sure you do know that being a single parent is lonely & frustrating & hard but being a parent brings happiness that you've never experienced before. If your heart is in it then go for it! I am not prolife or pro abortion (infact i had 3 before having my children) but i just believe if it feels right you have to do it! Follow your heart!
2007-02-17 22:16:02 · answer #4 · answered by Mishell 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You stick to what you want. It is your baby and it is a life growing inside you. Your boyfriend needs to take some responsibility and look after his baby. Also you are doing the right thing by being responsible for your actions, and do not listen to anyne else because you will regret it for the rest of your life if you do not go with your feelings. Do not listen to all those who tell you it is just a bunch of cells, these people have no responsibility and no heart, it is a living and growing being and you at least sound like you can give it some love and some support. You have taken responsibility for your actions and a lot of people could learn from your example.
2007-02-17 22:09:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a typical reaction of young fathers, I got pregnant at 18 and my boyfriend di the exact same thing. When I told him there was no way I was having an abortion though he came round and he really loves his daughter now, infactt I am pregnant with number 2!
My family also wanted me to have an abortion but I knew it wasn't right for me.
You definitely shouldn''t have an abortion based on other peoples opinions. Your parents racism is unfortunate but it's your life and if they want to disown you because of this then fine, you don't need them anyway.
Make sure you get some support from somewhere, find someone to talk to whether it be a friend or just a group on the internet or a support helpline.
I think your boyfriend will come round, this was exactly the same situation I was in.
Good luck!
2007-02-17 22:06:00 · answer #6 · answered by cigaro19 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hi there,
For all those who answered above about using contraception, aren't you making assumptions that non were used? My son is in the same boat as this young lady at the moment and they were using it... Accidents do happen. I must admit when I found out my son (17) was to become a father I was mortified to the core. However the young lady involved has decided to keep the baby (she is just over 18) My son was raised to take responsibility for his actions, and to his credit he is not the whip it in, wipe it and walk kind.
Admittedly my dreams for him to explore the world and be independent before having a serious relationship resulting in having kids were initially shattered, as a parent (who takes her role seriously) I have had to come to terms with the fact that life is not always what your dreams dictate, and supporting my son through the difficulties he and she will be facing is being a responsible parent!!!!
Although admittedly this young lady is facing challenges especially without the support of anyone close to her, why is the blame being all put on her, eh it takes two to tango you know.....
Honey I am not having a dig at you, I have to say it is your choice what you do from here. However as stated above don't count your parents out of the equation, after the initial shock they will be your greatest resource and sounding board.
Take care
2007-02-20 17:49:15 · answer #7 · answered by jules r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello Hun - its your body, your life and your choice. Be smart and remember that at all times. I had a child at 19, it scared me terribly, my bf was petrified (i am ttc now and my partner of 32 is frightened of bringing another little person into the world!) its a normal reaction. My family is catholic and so abortion was out of the question at the time - and i felt it was the wrong thing to have done. So i feel i can understand where you are at at the moment.
First of all, make your choice for yourself and imagine what it may be like on your own with a baby - financially & emotionally very hard and also VERY rewarding! You believe your parents will be uncomfortable with a grandchild because of his or her skin colour??? i think (& hope) you will be wrong - this child will be their flesh and blood - ask your parents for their support, you may find you will be surprised.
I think if you back off from your bf - give him a little time to think about the situation - and a little time to miss you ;-) - (no moping around!!) men think very differently to us girls about these things - best to get support right now from other girls, especially ones who have been or are in the same situation as you.
good luck. be strong - xx
2007-02-17 22:11:53 · answer #8 · answered by emma m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should tell your parents. But, since you are so young and against abortion, I would just put the baby for adoption. Your life is not over with no car. I'm sure your parents wont kick you out. Let them know you are scared and sorry. But, I wouldnt depend on your boyfriend. You both are so young still, there is a HIGH chance that he wont stick around. I'm 27 and my xhusband is 29 and he didnt stick around. My daughter is only 4. Not sure what your state law is, but your parents can get him for rape if you are still considered a minor.
Good luck.
2007-02-18 00:03:16 · answer #9 · answered by kimandkaitlyn2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had sex without a condom and now your pregnant with a baby that's bi-racial and your parents are racist.
You made one decision not to be racist.
You made another decision against abortion.
Those were two tough decisions to make. You are 17 and will soon be of legal age. Forget the nice car and fancy house. It's your baby. Go to college part time locally and keep yourself healthy. It's not the baby's fault. Make the daddy pay for the baby. It's his responsibility too. Your parents are going to have to grow up.
Don't worry about other people supporting your decision not to use a condom. If you don't want an abortion, have the baby.
The links below are from someone else's response to a similar question. I cut/pasted them. Hope the info helps.
2007-02-17 22:27:53 · answer #10 · answered by Tellin' U Da Truth! 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ok so you are like many others who are against abortion...ok so first tell you boyfriend abortion is NOT a form of birth control and it is your body but you 2 should really try to come to a decision about this baby it would really be hard to not have is support and as for the black baby thing it shouldnt matter if your baby was purple but i do klnow in this day and age people are still very against having another race in their family...it is going to be one of those things you sit ther and take what they have to say and suck it up and tell them you plan on keepingthe baby no matter what they say ...eventually one of your parents will come around..-kristy
2007-02-18 00:41:54 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋