My best friend and I have been friends for years now. Although we both live in different cities we still keep in touch. Recently she gave me good news that she's pregnant which she though would never happen. The only bad thing is that she's only been with this guy since August of last year. I know I shouldn't think about it too much but I had a friend in the same situation and now she's getting a divorce. I'm just a little skeptical. To make things worst she confessed to me that her boyfriend is into doing marijuana and coccaine. I told her to send him to rehab. What would you say?
2007-02-17 21:28:52 · 8 answers · asked by ♪♫♫♪ 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
i feel you are right, and she should do it asap
2007-02-17 21:50:33 · answer #1 · answered by Richa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I don't believe people can judge one relationship from another. Just cos this guy does a bit of cociaine or whatever doens't make him a bad person, there's plenty of good people in the world who also take drugs. I would just be there for her and keep my opinions to myself. I've only been with my partner for a year, and am 12 days overdue to give birth to our baby. People do not have to be together long to have a happy ending, and sometimes people who have been together for years find out their partner has been cheating for ages and all that time spent together was pointless, if you know what i mean. They'll be fine and if they're not- well that's life after all, and no one can predict the future. xx
2007-02-18 09:10:58 · answer #2 · answered by Kat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh God, this is a difficult question. I can only tell you what I would do if it were my friend:
I would make sure that she is happy with this man (even if I disapproved of him). Then I would tell her that no matter what, she and the baby come first. If there's a problem (financial, emotional etc) she and the baby come first. Then I would tell her that it's impossible to think that a man who takes pot and cocaine could be a father. I certainly would NEVER leave my baby with him. I would then ask her if he has a plan to quit the drugs now she's pregnant (and after the baby comes). If he says no, then I would make sure she moves out (I'd physically force her myself if necessary). But if he gets into a program then I think he deserves a chance.But I would definitely watch him and not leave my baby in his care.
Best of Luck
2007-02-18 05:53:10 · answer #3 · answered by cupcake 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your friend was just trying to get pregnant & didn't care who the father of the child was. She's obviously very selfish & not thinking of the innocent baby. Either her boyfriend needs to get into rehab & want to change or she needs to leave him. If she stays with him in this condition, it's only going to be trouble. If her bf ever got caught by the police & she was living w/ him w/ that baby, the baby could be taken away & she could go to jail too. I understand your concern, I have a feeling you & your friend will end up fighting over this & a friendship could be lost. Hopefully she wakes up & relizes she's got herself in a bad situation & gets out of it. Maybe you could suggest that she lives w/ you until her bf sobers up. If she's not living w/ her bf, you could call the 1-800 crimestoppers hot line & tell them about him.
2007-02-18 09:08:52 · answer #4 · answered by tanner 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI - You are right to worry - i was in a similar situation 9 yrs ago - my now ex-husband - smoked - i didn't know about the cocaine till much much later - but i thought he had a handle on it - how wrong i was. he would make very light of it and say - it helps me to relax etc etc... so i dimissed it as something akin to having a beer after work. - time taught me that this is not the case and myself and my children suffered terribly at the hands of his habit. However, that sounds all doom and gloom - your friend is a grown women and i am sure, like me, she does not want pity or to be thought of as a victim. we all have choices to make and consequences to live with - my advice to you is to support your friend through letters, phone calls, and e-mails - visit if you can when the baby arrives and just let her know you are there for her for support if and when she needs it. Also, her partner may well snap out of it and take responsibility for himself and their little one when he/she arrives! Heres hoping! good luck xx
ps. rehab MUST be his choice - certainly a great idea for her to mention it to him as a tool in preparing him for father hood to rid him of the habit - but no-one can "fix" another without their really really wanting to be healed... and further even then the road is a rocky one.
2007-02-18 05:56:28 · answer #5 · answered by emma m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know it is hard but love is blind, the best thing to do is be there when she falls "if this is what will happen" she will need all the friends she can get, if you say anything you risk loosing her and she won't listen anyway.
then she will suffer in silence if things get really bad.
be the shoulder to cry on make Shaw you don't let her become a mart er
2007-02-18 05:37:36 · answer #6 · answered by london2007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure she knows that if they are living together with the baby and someone else knows that he does drugs, the state can take the baby away from them and send both of them to jail since she knows that he does this........unless she turns him in and gets him help.
2007-02-18 08:06:44 · answer #7 · answered by kimandkaitlyn2005 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can tell her anything you want however she probably won't listen unfortunately I think she will have to find out the hard way...
2007-02-18 05:40:17 · answer #8 · answered by HPS 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋