We have been together for almost 6 years, married for one and a half.
We went out we had a bit of a plan ( just to go have coffee) she wanted to call her female friend, a soon as she did the friend suggested change of plans, not to make it a big story we ended up doing pretty much what her friend wanted, i accepted gladly cause it did not matter to me, we laughed and took a long walk, eventually we had that coffee. After a few hours we took our car and headed home. As soon as we get in the car she started critisizing her friend behavior and was not happy that she changed our plans, she even said that her friend was flirting a bit with me, which i did not notice, the argument got hot, but i was very tired and i slept must of the way home.
Now she is really angry, what can i do?
for the record, we cook do the laundry clean the house together, so just cooking or giving her something or massage won't do, that is my normal behavior.
2007-02-17 19:55:05 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like she's mad mostly because she can't make up her own mind about the friend. What did she need the friend along for in the first place? Then when the friend changed plans she didn't have the balls to say no? Then she thought she was flirting? She sounds like she's not happy with the friend to begin with.
Although, to be fair, I have to wonder what you said to your wife about the friend's flirting, since you state that's when the argument got heated...and then, you fell asleep. Bad.....
Just apologize, don't get into specifics, apologize again, and keep being great to her. You could do the chores by yourself for the next day or two, instead of together.
2007-02-17 20:06:21 · answer #1 · answered by Violet777 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ignore it, it will go away. This isn't your fault in anyway.
To the answer about always agreeing with her to make sure she doesn't get mad. That has got to be the dumbest thing I have heard. Maybe the friend was flirting. It doesn't sound like you reciprocated. And, you can't stop her friend, that she invited, from acting how she acted.
Don't apologize for anything. You will be setting yourself up to always apologize just to end the argument and appease her.
But, as to your question about understanding your wife. Let me know if you ever figure out women. Hell, write a book, I am sure there are many more out there still trying to figure this subject out.
2007-02-17 21:26:52 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not trying to give you bad advice but as long as you agree with what she says and be sure to throw in a little bit about how non attractive her friend is it will make her feel better. She probably just feels stuck in the middle because she doesn't want to bail out on you and also not hang out with her friend either. But if you or her friend get along for a few minutes more than she would like, her insecurities are really workin up a frenzy in her brain. I hope this makes sense to you but I am just like your wife and I get jealous over the dumbest things.
2007-02-17 20:10:27 · answer #3 · answered by DropTopAle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what can you do?? what have you done? your wife is triffling. sometimes people are just miserable, and everyone makes them mad. maybe her friend looked especially nice that night. sounds like you are thoughtful enough. if you go any farther, you are just a push-over i have been guilty of that same stupid behavior in the distant past. i still dont know why. but- what i do know, is that catering to that behavior is wrong, and not effective.stand firm, and say something to the effect of-'hey ,im sorry that you are mad at me, but i have not done anything to hurt you.its a nice day, life is good ,and i,personally dont want to spend it arguing with you over what amounts to nothing" then-let it go,and tell her she has to let it go too,its not open for debate. best wishes
2007-02-17 20:56:47 · answer #4 · answered by DEBI M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know all the specifics but I'll try to help. Falling asleep while she's trying to get her point across made her feel that what was bothering her was not important to you. You may not have been able to control falling asleep, but she was already ticked off about her friend, so that probably just made her feel more insecure. If she speaks of it again make sure you give it your full attention, she'll appreciate it. It'll be ok.
It's my take on it, from what you wrote, but I wasn't there.
2007-02-17 20:21:34 · answer #5 · answered by Cindy F1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take her out just the 2 of you and do all that you had planned for that evening that her friend ruined! Next time be sure to agree with her on how her friend acted and how you too felt it annoying and rude! Hopefully she wont continue this behavior, if she does remind her who invited the girl to begin with!
2007-02-17 20:03:46 · answer #6 · answered by amd730 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well a woman is a mystery......she did not like the behavior of her fried, she most likley, just wanted someone to listen instead of comment, but you could try talking to her about it and ask her how she feels and is ther anything tat you should do next time you go ut and see how it goes from there
2007-02-17 20:01:08 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs.Gower 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can tell her you love her and that you were happy to spend some time with her and that next time it will just be the two of you but i think you might have future problems. from what you write your wife likes crisis. she opened the door for this.
2007-02-17 20:11:59 · answer #8 · answered by frank c 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are doing just fine. Just keep ignoring her. A woman should trust her man. There's nothing you need to do. Oh wait, I am hunrgy, what you got?
2007-02-17 19:59:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about the argument, it will blow over, you are doing just fine as you are, don't change.
2007-02-17 20:01:36 · answer #10 · answered by Vanessa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋