Does anyone stay happy together forever?

Question

Just wondering what ppl think about this.
I dont personally think marriage works.
I think at some point or another, people get fed up of being with the same person - and thats why affairs happen. Most marriages end in divorce, and i would guess that in marrriages that last, a lot of the couples arent actually still happy or in love, they just stay together for convenience and security.
How long does it take after falling in love with someone, that u just start to take them for granted, and things you used to like about them just become annoying? ( after living with them)
Does this happen to everyone?

Answer 1

To be happy you have to trust, respect and yes love the other person doesn't matter wether your married or not, my parents have had their differences over the 55 years they have been together but they love each other, they accept their differences, different interestsetc but they have never let themselves get bored with each other I am proud of them my marriages have failed but there were different reasons for that to do with health. You have to work at relationships as soon as you stop you cease to care and then they start to unravel. Be Optimistic and work for your happiness

Answer 2

there is actually a "test." people say that you should date someone for 5 straight years before getting married. in those 5 years, you should live together for two. If in that time, you still want to be with them, then consider marriage. yes, many people dont stay together, or do but arent happy, but most of those people got married too soon and too young. you also have to know there will be good and bad times, and you have to be willing to work through the bad times (not just give up on each other). There are plenty of ways to stay together happily, people just are too lazy to put in a little effort to make a good thing last.

Answer 3

I'll try answering each part of the long question separately:

Does anyone stay happy together forever? "Happiness" is an emotion, and like all emotions if fluctuates. Noone can be ONLY happy forever. Anger, Sadness, Loniless, Contentment, Numbness, Euphoria, Joy, Depression and so many other emotions are a part of our lives- whether we want them or not. But, if we can stay happy for the majority of the time with somebody else- then a relationship might last longer than say one that has Anger as a major recurring emotion.

I think at some point or another, people get fed up of being with the same person - and thats why affairs happen.
Yes, people do get "fed-up" with another person- even parents with their children, children with their parents, siblings, teachers with their students, and vice-versa, etc. etc. The point of 'love' is to accept another in 'good' and in 'bad'. Affairs, on the other hand, occur for other reasons than just being 'fed-up'. Here are some that I know of:
a) Single women look for 'stable, decent' men and they imagine that a married one is all that and more- a security thing, so the single ladies flirt with married men to see if they 'break' and fall into their arms. Only a very satisfied man can fend off 'interested' single ladies.
b) At some stages throughout a marriage (noticably after conceiving a child) women do not enjoy love-making as much, leaving the man with "needs" unfulfilled.
c) Many married women (specially if they married their first or at a very young age) at around the 35-40 year age group find their bodies are calling out for attention like it never did before. It's like the feeling for male adolescents- they just want sex, and maybe find out they had never had a real orgasm- or not that many- with their current spouses, so they try appeasing their needs. One reason Viagra was invented.
d) Men sometimes get so wrapped up in their jobs that they accidently forget their spouses needs, and their own at times. Women "need" and "want" sexual fulfillment as much as men, only they are mostly more concerned with emotion than "to empty their sack" as it is vulgarly referred to.
e) Insecurity for both males and females, where there has been an argument in the relationship for some time cause them to "give up" on their current relationship and try finding another.
f) Also, it is always nice to find someone different. Imagine a possessive, angry man married to a docil, kind woman- if she meets a sensitive musician who smothers her in compliments she may want to feel 'loved' by him to see how it feels. In reverse, the same man might want a dominating, strong woman to tie him up and teach him a lesson- masochism.

Most marriages end in divorce, and i would guess that in marrriages that last, a lot of the couples arent actually still happy or in love, they just stay together for convenience and security.
That's like saying most divorces began with marriage! Here you really should find a definition of love. The love I think you're referring to was a French invention in the 12th Century (the Trovadors)- before that people married suitors who paid the woman's parents for the right. Emotional love is a real touchy issue- there are many interpretations. The problem with marriage is that once you're in it, the other options seem childish, too hard, and definately too painful. Imagine a 40-year-old woman going to nightclubs to find a date- even though many men do it!!!! It's like a rollercoaster- you know there are downers but you look forward to the uppers. The good, the bad and the ugly- that's what you accept in marrying.

How long does it take after falling in love with someone, that u just start to take them for granted, and things you used to like about them just become annoying? ( after living with them)
Now this is where marrying the prettiest, handsomest, richest, most powerful person comes into play. If you "fall in love" with somebody because they look great you can be sure their "habits" will annoy you in no time. If you marry a person because they understand you, respect you, help you be a better person- someone you never tire talking to about anything- someone you can argue with without getting angry- they are the ones you never want to lose- even if some of their habits are annoying!

But, there is no law stating you Must marry- it's just convenient for both parties- at different times.

Answer 4

Not Romeo and Juliet.

You're right. Couples don't stay married for love - they stay married for a lot of very practical reasons. Love may or may not be part of the equation.

But, it all depends on your definition of "love". If you're referring to the mind-blowing sex that occurs during the first months of wedded bliss, or the wonder of finding all about another person, or the tender discovery of another person's heartbeat next you, then forget it. That all diminishes. What replaces it is true friendship, respect, and trust.

You're expectations are based on some romantic fantasy. Good marriages are messy, difficult, annoying, and lots of hard work. But, the rewards are great. One of them is grandkids! You can't pull that off being single your whole life.

Answer 5

My partner and i have been together for almost 7 yrs now and have two wonderful children and yes we drifted apart from each other a few years ago and split up on muteral geound that lasted 6 month we were seeing each other every day due to the kid being so young and well lets just say we are getting married this year. If you love someone and i mean realy love them you will do anything for them and true love is something that lasts

Answer 6

I am 59 and never married--I flew in viet Nam and never found a girl to trust enough so she wouldn't be on my mind while I had to concentrate on staying alive. I have been a firefighter for 33 years--still feel the same--I don't need to have a wife and a bunch of wild disrespectful kids hampering my ability to work without the stress and possibly getting hurt because of a needless slip up. Women get fat--I cannot do a fat woman. They get PMS and then they go thru the change---have you ever witnessed those days??? Nuts---all of them are just nuts---and I don't want to drive a junky mini van my whole life. Love is what??? Telling the same old lady the same old stuff??? Not me. I date a new hottie until she gets on my nerves and then she is history---find another and live it up. I am VERY happy not to be married and I have plenty of money in my pocket, too

Answer 7

There are a lot of people that stay together until death. They are so happy. My grandparents were. You just have to be a person with good morals and meet someone with good morals. Couples always will fight and will always get annoyed at one time or another, but that's life.

Answer 8

Being that every relationship is different, and not everyone shares the same qualities between each other, I think there are a lot of couples who have shared their lives together for the better part of their existence.
Maybe generations ago, like when our great-great grandparents, and grandparents were young, marriage and relationships were thought of more seriously. They may have had to work harder on their relationships to make it work, but, these days, everyone is in a hurry all the time, making it harder for couples to stop and take the time to seriously consider their relationship as 'work', not just 'play'.
Sure, there are adultery and divorces out there, but, it's not fair to say that 'every one' is like that. There are a lot of men and women who still are seeking their 'soul mate' and 'lifelong partner', who they want to spend the rest of their lives with.
Some may jump into a relationship too quickly, leaving the relationship on the rocks, well before its time.
I think these days, more and more young people are jumping into a relationship, and marriage, well before they're ready to. They feel obligated to do the 'marriage' thing, because they are pressured, by their families, and because their own parents are 'old school', they feel as though this is something they need to do, instead of 'wanting' to do.
I've been with my husband (common law) for over 14 years, and we still goof around, and are playful with each other. We consider each other as 'best friends', and I think it's because we were 'friends' for a long time, before we considered taking our relationship to the next level. It wasn't until we were serious about each other, that we both made that decision to settle down, once and for all, and stay together, for life.
I truly believe that there is someone out there, for you. Maybe it takes longer for one to find that person, and has to go through several relationships before finding the 'one', but, many choose to settle for the first serious relationship, instead of moving around, and 'feeling out' other relationships, to find what they're most comfortable with.
Sure, I get annoyed, sometimes, with my partner, and some of his 'habits', but I've accepted him from the first day, on who he is. I don't try to change him, because that would be wrong. We've lived together for so long and I can't imagine my life without him. I'm sure I could do it, if I had to, but we have so much in common, and there are things we don't have in common, but it attracted the other, and it worked!
So, to answer your question, I would have to say that in my case, I am happy in my relationship. It's not a 'perfect happiness', as we do have our conflicts, but it's not life-threatening, or puts our relationship at risk, but we manage to sort through our problems, because we've learned to do that, early in our relationship.
It's a 'work in progress'. If you want a relationship to work, you need to 'work at it'. It's a two-way street, and as long as both partners agree to disagree, when need be, and to remain faithful, trustworthy, and honest, then the relationship is worth keeping and worth the work.
In the end, it pays off.

Answer 9

My grandparents have been together for 60 years!! They have had ups and downs but I think they feel the same as they ever did. I think once you reach a long time together it keeps you together knowing that you have all ready got such history, no one could no each other better

Answer 10

I do agree to a certain extent, there is a huge difference in being in love and love. you go from being in love to loving someone.
Marriage is very hard work and anyone that that tells you otherwise is either very lucky or have found their soul mate.
To answer your question, I think it does not happen to everyone, I once knew an old man that had been married for 42 years, he and his wife were always hand in hand and very much in love.