i always say that an apology comes from regret, a knowledge that if you went back to do it again you'd do it differently. and so, when someone is in the act, they can't apologize, because if they were really sorry, they'd stop. but that also makes me wonder how God can forgive us when we repent but, being such horrid sinners, we're still sinning AS we repent.
also, when someone says they're sorry for an act that you find them frequently doing, it's hard to believe them because if they say sorry each time, they'd regret it each time. if they did regret it each time they wouldn't do it again.
i dunno, i just got an apology from someone who wasn't only IN the act, but also does the act frequently.
they said "sorry" i said "no you're not, but it's all good" and they said "i am", and i stayed quiet..
anyway just bugs me and i've been trying to sort out my thoughts on apologies.
is there anything you remind yourself of whenever someone says "sorry"?
2007-02-17 19:47:37 · 7 answers · asked by huntingforeggs 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It depends on the act. As a recovering alcoholic, I can't tell you the number of times I was truly, sincerely sorry for my actions of the previous night. Within 24-48 hours I was drunk again. I needed help, which I did not know where to get at the time. Separate issue from sincerity of regret, though.
2007-02-17 19:52:01 · answer #1 · answered by Phartzalot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, theories do not apply here. Your question reminds me of something alse, an excuse abusers use to turn the act istelf against the victim in the form of guilt. I do not know you but this raises alarms for me. As a former abuser, to say sorry, in or after the event, sin, abuse, occurance, act......is a way to turn the blame back on the victim. True apology is to say sorry, with out blame, excuse, or asking for forgivness.....but simply to speak the truth of the crime, and never commit it again. If this person has wronged you, says sorry, and asks forgivness, and yet commits it again, then there is no true sorrow there. This person is an abuser, and who ever they commit this crime against is a victim, and no apology from this abuser will ever clear, realease, or free the victim.......no matter how many apologies they speak. Tell your truth.....truth is the path to freedom.
2007-02-18 04:15:03 · answer #2 · answered by katblack101 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being sorry is a human emotion like all others. It sits in the category of the mistakes we make in order to experience life how we want. We make mistakes in order to learn so we can progress. Making the same mistakes falls in the subconscious mind i.e. smoking, eating unhealthy food which is best explained by the conscious vs subconscious debates (see link).
Life is all about experiencing all the the world has to offer and progressing through those experiences. And yes inevitably we will make mistakes. What is disturbing are individuals who are NOT sorry for what they've done or those who dont understand the difference.
I would apologise to you at this stage for mistakes that have had a negative affect in your life but it doesn't seem appropriate, but i sincerely do not wish any harm or hurt on anyone.
However, by allowing your friend to continue to make the same mistakes means you are also guilty of making the same mistakes by not addressing them appropriately. By saying or doing nothing you are saying that you are willing to forgive and forget which reinforces the possibility for the same mistakes to occur again. This behaviour only perpetuates the cycle that reoccurs in your own life.
We have a forgiving God that can see into our hearts and will know if we are sincere in what we say.
Protecting my family and keeping them safe including encouraging good values and beliefs always keeps me grounded and helps me to persevere through most of lifes trials and tribulations.
2007-02-18 03:58:59 · answer #3 · answered by Truth D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The evening news recently had 5 apologies from diff celebrities. It seems to be the auto out from any stupid or hurtful behavior. If the American public was less ready to accept apologies then maybe people would think before they act.
2007-02-18 03:52:17 · answer #4 · answered by San Diego Art Nut 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sinning in easy, while doing right, often requires a strength of character that a lot of people lack in today's society. Look at business ethics, the social moral standards etc... I have known recreational drug users, who felt bad every time that they got high, because they knew it was wrong, and a poor example for their children, BUT they were so conditioned to the drugs, that without them they felt even worse. For them it was a choice of feeling bad or feeling worse, so they chose bad instead of worse, even though they knew it was wrong. People like this often have a very low self esteem, and they do not have the power of Christ on their side. While they may walk away from their drug of choice, be it money, greed, sex, stealing, lying, cocaine etc... the devil knows that the flesh is weak and that the calling is strong. The Apostle Paul writes in Philipians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. (KJV)
Knowing that we can do all things through Christ... does that make it easy to walk 'the straight and narrow'? Of course not, but it does get easier every time that temptation is successfully resisted, as the chains that bind you to your sin get progressivly weaker. Everyone it seems has 'a thorn in the flesh' as the Apostle Paul writes about in 2 Corinthians 12:7. The drug user, the alchoholic, the gameling addict... for the rest of their lives will wrestle with their 'thorn in the flesh'. The devil will see to that. The devil knows that he got to that individual through that weak link, and knows that the weak link is there.
The Apostle Peter asked Jesus about forgiveness in Matt chapter 18. I'm going to be sneaky here and not give you the verse, as the whole chapter is dealing with sin and forgiveness. Not just from an earthly point of view, but from Jesus himself. The whole chapter will take about 5 minutes to read, if that long. Pay special attention to the final 2 verses in this chapter, as those 2 verses are definatly something to remind yourself of whenever someome says "sorry". If you do not have a bible, you may read it from the Internet at BibleGateway.com
One more thing to think about when they say 'sorry'. Maybe The Lord sent you to them to minister to them. I don't mean to put them down, or preach at them, but rather deal with them one on one. This may make it easier for you to forgive them, and help them to not sin as often. The Apostle Paul writes in Romans 12:2 'And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.' That renew of your mind takes place in prayer, and speaking from experience, is quite effective in the resistance of temptation, when employed.
2007-02-18 05:27:54 · answer #5 · answered by nti_grad 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, SOME PEOPLE SAY SORRY WITHOUT RELY MEANING IT, THEY SAY THE WORD BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT WE EXPECT THEM TO DO WHEN THEY HAVE DONE SOMETHING WRONG.AS FOR THE REPEAT OFFENDERS,THEY WOULD NOT KEEP DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER IF THEY WERE TRULY SORRY, BUT BEING AS WE ARE WE WILL KEEP FORGIVING THEM.
2007-02-18 03:59:23 · answer #6 · answered by aunty m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately i am 1 of those people who seems to find themselves apologizing over and over again and doing the same thing again. i am trying to learn and change because i truly hate hurting those i love over and over again
2007-02-18 03:58:45 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋