Should I be upset that my Fiancee went to a movie alone with a guy friend?

Question

My fiancee decided 2 go out with a guy friend to see a movie. She at first came 2 me and said that "is it alright if me and (friends name) go 2 watch a movie?" I asked her who else was going and she said noone. I let her know that I would be upset if she was 2 go to a movie by herself with a guy. Her reply was that she already told him yes. But latr she said it was her idea for the movie. She didnt even think of talking it over with me . I'm in cali while serving in the military and I'm upset because she chose not 2include me in her decision at all and completely disregarded me. She didnt care how I felt and went out with him anyway. She said that he just broke up with his gf of 1month and that he was depressed so she offered to go 2 a movie with him. She says hes a good friend, im ok with her guy friends but every time she has hung out with this guy it has been alone & hes constantly trying 2 hang out with her alone. Somethings are ok but a date environment like that isnt, am i wrong?

Answer 1

I agree that your fiancee should definitely respect your wishes, if you have asked her not to go out with this guy she shouldn't have. I do feel that she is just trying to be a good friend to this guy, and only a friend, but perhaps she does need to take a step back and try to see things from your point of view. I think the two of you should really sit down and talk about this explaining both of your feelings and come to some kind of agreement.

Answer 2

Hey--how you feel is your own business--and if you think she was wrong--you are entitiled to that feeling---you know her better than anyone. You are in the military and it is stressful---you probably feel she should be at home waiting or whatever---if you think it was wrong--and you feel this is going to fester inside you--you better cut her loose----you can't do the military with jealousy on the mind----should have made it clear before you left but you didn't...too late to talk now??? She probably feels as if it is OK and she will keep doing it---so cut her loose--too late to take back your feelings now. Don't be a baby--just send a mature note about it---tell her that you don't understand or appreciate what is going on--so she can now do as she pleases and so will you when you can in Calif. Good luck and thank you for your service--ex USAF 1968-72--C 119 gunship--Pleiku----6000 rounds a minute of pure whoop ***

Answer 3

Just because a lot of people go to movies on dates, doesn't make movies a "date environment". Actually, a movie is a bad idea for dating, you can't talk or see each other. However, beng dark also gives opportunity for "other" things.

The fact that she didn't care to consult with you prior to telling him she would go out with him is something to be concerned about in itself. The other, that she is trying to console a male friend of his loneliness after a break up.

Why is it "her" place to console this guy?
Why are neither of them respecting your relationship with her?
Her total disregard for your own feelings is something to be concerned about. Perhaps marriage should be reconsidered? If you're having trust issues now, marriage will not make them any better.

Answer 4

No, you're not wrong, and yes, you should be upset. An engagement is not a time to be dating others, it's a time to be preparing to spend a life with someone in a committed relationship. If she wants to date others, get the ring back and tell her she doesn't have to ask permission any more. It will make life so much less complicated for everyone. And, life really should be simple, don't you think?

Answer 5

Speaking as a former Marine stationed at Camp Pendleton for three years and dating a "lady" back home......

DUMP HER!!!

The distance is what is killing you right now. Would you be ok with her going to a movie with an ex-boyfriend??? The answer is NO!!!

If she doesn't give a **** about your feelings now, what would make you think that marriage would change that.

One other thing......

Thanks for your service to our country. Try not to let this chic get in your head too much. And DUMP HER!!!!

Answer 6

Oooooooh strike one, she lied to you at first.

Some things are okay, yes, but I generally try to avoid date-like environments when I hang out with guys who are not my boyfriend. Guys and girls can be friends, but too much alone time and especially with someone being on the rebound can just complicate things I think.

Answer 7

No. You are not wrong. Your feelings should be first. I have seen question many times on here that ask if two people of the opposite sex can just be friends. I often wonder that too.

Answer 8

look, ur fiancee or whoever she is, she went out with a certain guy friend. should u be upset? ok, maybe. it depends what they did, is it because she is betraying u? if so, u can upset as much as u want and argue with her as much as u want. as long u dont hit her. so, if she is gonna have an affair with him. o my god, break up with her! but IF, she is just like going out with that guy, and she doesnt do anything but watch, chat, go back to you, you do not need to be upset.
:)

Answer 9

This is not a good situation. I knew a lady who comforted her grieving guy friend over a loss he had and she ended up leaving her husband for him. She lied thru her teeth right up to when she walked out.
This guy doesnt care how you feel and neither does she.

You can't force her to not see him but to me if she does her status with you is changed.

Answer 10

I think she needs to see you, because it's hard being alone. If your deployment lasts long though, you will lose her. Is there any way she can move to California to be closer to you?
You're instincts are right, she's trying to fill something missing in herself. She's not concerned with you, and probably not with him either.