Should I even want him back?

Question

We was together for 7 years..Since I was 17 and been living together going on 4 years..This wasn't a planned pregnancy but he was REALLY excited and I was the one depressed for awhile. He is from up north and I am from the south. We was supposed to move to Wyoming because his dad could get him a job making 4 more grand a month, we was struggling with bills. His dad called about a month ago and said the job would not be there for long, so he moved up there. I was going see him for 2 weeks so we could pick out a house..He calls me almost 2 weeks ago and breaks up with me..I don't know what is going on with him. He calls me everyday and I only answer every now and then. Last week he was like WE ARE OVER,move on. So, now I am acting like I am moving on and he calls and wants to talk forever, he askes about me all the time. I don't know if he is scared because of the baby..Do you think he will come back? Sorry so long

His dad ran out on his mom when she was pregnant and my father did the same thing. He said he wouldn't repeat the same pattern but he is..Should I let him know the door is open incase he is too ashamed to come back? I have been reading self help books because he says that I took him for granted and I think that I may have...He knows that I am trying to better myself for our relationship and because I do not want my baby to have negative influences.

I don't believe he is seeing another woman or girl, but you never know. He works 14 hours, 7 days a week with his dad and his step mom keeps me well informed. His days basically consist of work,eat,shower, sleep. You never can tell though.

We actually went up there in December to check out the whole job thing..and I didn't believe he could make that much and his dad showed me his pay stubs. We was having money issues because I was having a hard pregnancy and quit my job..But still going to school full-time! Thanks for all the advice.

Answer 1

First of all let me say that I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Especially while you are pregnant. Men can be such losers sometimes. If I were you I wouldn't take him back (as hard as that must be right now), I think he has found some one up there and is trying to keep you on the side "just in case" you know what I mean? If he really loves you he wouldn't do this to you. Maybe he sees what life is like single since you all have been together so long and at an early age and maybe he wants to play around for now. And he might want to keep you close for when he feels like he has had enough. I don't know but something is going on that just isn't right.

Just have the strength to get through this all. Good luck!!

Answer 2

Don't ever put yourself down in a situation like that. If you didn't do any legitimate thing wrong in the relationship, he is Just trying to make himself OKAY with the fact he RAN out on you. And you say "4 grand more a month" likke he is making thousands a month.. well how could he be having these money problems then? He may have just said that new job idea to get you to allow him to leave the area so he could think. He probably talked to his dad about the baby, and his dad was obviously a punk who ran out on his mom so he may have scared him into leaving you as well... Sounds like him and his dad are in some kind of cahoots.. but he is trying to breakloose maybe.. by the calls he is making to you, and trying to maybe work things out. IT is SO wrong of him to behave this way, and lead you on, He was perfectly fine with everything till the DAD came around and told him "he needs to move up here now, there isn't much time left"... its so obvious!! HIs dad is orchestrating this whole thing.. Unfortunatley its always hard for the person in the middle of the situation to realize that, unles s you already have. I would make a call to the father and get to the bottom of this whole scheme, or so it seems. Why would the boyfriend be so happy about the pregnancy, and make all these plans, and then drop them. Its good your giving him somewhat of a cold shoulder, showing him U wont stand for the b,s,... Otherwise he will do this bullshit forever and get away with it. Stand your ground, and he will definitley realize he loves you, and say "F- u" to the pu**y dad . LoL.. sorry but I think thats wha the father is. WHenever A guy tells u to move on, and U actually do (Or pretend to) they always freak out b/c they are thinking u will cling on them forever. And don't ever tell a guy "I have an open door" b/c he will date every hoe on the planet and then come back to u... knowing he has an open door.. I mean , what guy wouldn't?? If he knew a woman was just gonna sit around and wait?? try a couple things out, of course. ANd the only negative influence the baby is going to get is the FATHER of the baby not being around and playing gameswith you and the baby's head.. Him Leaving you is not going to make the influences positive in the babys life.. thats obvious in itself.

Answer 3

Well i think that if he was scared about having kids he would have made sure to use condoms so he would not get you pregnant.
He may be cheating on you and still yet keeping in touch with you to make you think that things will work out so you won't be looking at anyone else.
He calls you everyday because he most likely wants you but just not right now for whatever reason. He is dangling you on the side. I wouldn't take him back. Good luck

Answer 4

He is the father of ur child so u should give him more chances than u would any other guy. he keeps calling u for a reason. keep talking to him. it will only make him realize what he is missing. but dont let on that u want to get back together. let him chase u, he is probably actin this way cuz he knows he has u hooked. keep talking to him but let him realize u are ur own woman and he is not NEEDED as a boyfriend, just as a father.

Answer 5

Next time he calls tell him you will be getting a lawyer. Tell him you will be getting a paternity test to prove he is the babies dad and then you will file for child support. Tell him that if you guys get back together you will not go ahead with it but if he wants to play games you will make sure he is resposible for the baby one way or the other. Dont tell him you have no money to get one, tell him you have one in mind already and money is no issue. You can get state medical for the baby and the state will help you with getting child support for free. Be strong! You have a baby that you need to protect and make sure you can provide for. Also tell him you started seeing a new guy and tell him you are really into him. Make a guy up! He does not need to know its a fake guy. That may show him you are independant and he may want you back

Answer 6

If you only answer once in a while, which does not show much interest on your part. If you are both serious, make an honest effort. If not, go to court for child support and move on.

Answer 7

I would say he probably just nervous about the baby and his new found resposiblity. Guys get alittle freaked out sometimes. You dont think hes cheating do you?

Answer 8

It sounds like he met a new girl to me and as far as him calling you its prob bc he is bored at the time.