this is all over my drinking. he had been telling me that it bothers him when i get drunk. long story short, i got drunk one more time and had told him that i would quit drinking. and then i told him that i didn't want to quit. he gave me the whole quit drinking or we aren't getting married bit. so we broke up and i moved out. i didn't talk to him for nine days. it was valentine;s. i practially begged him to hang out. he came over fir 4 hours and all we did was talk. he tells me that i have bruised his trust with the drinking thing. EVEN THOUGH I HAVE QUIT AS OF FEBRUARY 2nd. he said that 2 weeks isn't proof enough after 10 years of excessive drinking. he did admit that he still loves me but doens't know of we can be together because i "hurt" him in regards to the drinking.
he told me that he is going to relationship counseling once a week and to AL-ANON (AA for the family members)
other than the drinking, we had a wonderful relationship.
what should i do?
2007-02-17 19:18:32 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
try your hardest to quit, i know it is not an easy thing to do, easier said then done, but......ou cant find love anymore, he probabley dosent want to see you hurt yourself, with the drinking,and drinking does change the way you act around people.....so i hope you can work through all of this, put your diffrences behind, get married and live happiley ever after..............BEST WISHES
2007-02-17 19:24:39 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs.Gower 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your FI both need to sit down and discuss what you guys want to do about this. Make sure you don't get caught up in the moment, and think about whether or not you guys will regret not having the FSIL at the wedding. Another thing you guys need to do is as a united front sit down with his mother, and explain to her that you guys are grown adults (are you guys paying for the wedding yourselves? If not, she does have some pull in who's there) and that she does not need to get in the middle of things. You guys are grown up enough as is the sister to deal with this on your own. Talk to the sister in law calmly and ask how come she didn't bring this up in the first place. If you're getting married in October, they will have been together for near a year. Is it such a big deal to have him there? I realize each person raises the price, but then she will come, and later you guys wont have regrets about her not being there.
2016-05-24 01:04:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't drink. That is pretty much it. Don't drink. Don't give in.
You are strong than the addiction. If you are serious and have a problem get help. If you get professional help that will show him you are seirous about quitting.
Anyway, if you stop drinking and let him have some time to cool off things will hopefully work out well.
I would suggest telling him that you are not going to drink and that you are getting help. Then tell him you are going to call him once and week and ask if he wants to go out. You can tell him each week you are not drinking and that you do love him.
If you do this he will see that you are serious.
2007-02-17 19:24:03 · answer #3 · answered by huskerslord 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
quit drinking and go to meetings, sounds like he has his act together and you need to work on yours. Oh 2 weeks is not very long to say you stopped. they say it takes 21 days to make or break a habbit, and drinking is much more then that.
2007-02-17 19:29:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your drinking is going to get you in nothing but trouble. Seek help, attend AA. You have more to lose than your partner. You are an alcoholic.
2007-02-18 02:53:14 · answer #5 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I drank alto my self and my wife told me her or the drinking.Ive ben drinking seance i was 15 I'm 37 now but i gave it up for her and my kid.it wasn't hard when i was around peole who drank and they ask me to i told them no thanks and if they kep on i didn't go around them.i loved to drink but i love my wife and kid alot more i dont know if you have kids but you need to fig out what you love more.you can quit if i can you can Ive ben 1 year and i would drink a half gal of Bacardi a day so give it up and you will feel better and will have more money.i know you can do it if not for him do it for your self.Good luck
2007-02-17 20:51:18 · answer #6 · answered by Leo M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree you should quit for you and only you. If you can stay clean there is always a chance he'll come back to you, but the most important thing is getting yourself clean.
2007-02-17 19:45:31 · answer #7 · answered by milwaukiedave 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like he is forcing you to make a choice between your relationship with him and your drinking, he obviously finds it intolerable (for whatever reason). Choose the one that is most important to you.
2007-02-17 19:54:41 · answer #8 · answered by Vanessa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drinking is fun, bit dont let it be a daily 9 to 5 habit,!! Sounds like your man likes drama, what an ***
2007-02-17 19:24:22 · answer #9 · answered by Goes Without Saying 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should stay off the booze for six months and try to regain his trust ... and you should admit you have a serious drinking problem.
2007-02-17 19:22:26 · answer #10 · answered by Bethany 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋