why am i so angry at my boyfriend?

Question

he says things like i have to follow his rules.that im a stay at home mom that is what they do just follow what the guy sayscause he woks and i dont. this makes me mad like he is trying to control me. is it just me? i need help i have when though therapy all my life and if i dont change we will end up spliting up. we do have a baby girl thats 10 months old she loves us both and i dont want her to be without a dad what am i to do?? if anyone has any answers for me i would love to hear it well thanks for your help love maria

Answer 1

Honey you may not get a pay check at the end of the day like your boy friend. But you do Work. Its called being a stay at home mother and homemaker. Being a Home Maker is a very hard job and the hours are long and hard. Don't let your boyfriend degrade you. You are not his possession to put rules on you.
You need to talk to him about your feeling and let him know that you will not be treated like you are being treated. If anything else you might see a couples counselor. But I am sure your boyfriend wouldn't do that.
Don't try to change for someone, unless you want to change and the change is good for you and your family. If it makes you Happy. If it doesn't then why Change? You will only resent him in the long run.

take care and best of luck

Answer 2

A relationship cannot survive without compromise.

You say that you need to change. He does too. Staying together "for the children" never works. It traps you in a potentially abusive unhealthy environment and you end up teaching your child that that's what being in a relationship means. She will not be without a father just because you separate.

You both need to be in therapy first to see if the relationship can be saved. I think you *know* why you're so angry.

Answer 3

Hi Maria,
well right now I'm not working also,see what I think if the house is clean his cloths are clean and you have food an the table for him when he get's home from work there should be NO reason that you have to stay home all the time!!!
" GOOD LUCK"

Answer 4

give him a swift kick in the ***... get a job. if staying home with the baby is what you really want, then take on another kid or two during the week...daycare, sweet heart. be a daycare provider. you usually get paid in cash, and then he can't say anthing about you not working...and by the way doesn't he know that raising a child is the most demanding and rewardind job. You have a say in everything because you are the mother of his child. and to be honest...do you want your daughter to grow up that way? I would never let my daughter think it was ok for a man to dictate to her what the rules are. you are hold the key to your own happiness...if it was me? I'd never be with a man like that for long. it wouldn't last. I'd never want my daughter to be raised to take orders from a man... to be made to feel like she doesn't have a choice...

Answer 5

yeah it sounds like he has some controlling issues. it sounds like your man has a lack of respect for you and he doesn't treat you too good if that's the case you don't want to stay with someone like that because you wouldn't be setting a good example for your daughter when she gets older she will think that its okay for man to treat her any type of way. there are alot of men who think that if they bring home the bread they are the head of household they have the last say but it doesn't work that way we aren't in the 1940's anymore it's 2007. you need to let your man know that you don't just sit on your butt all day you cook, clean, take care of the baby and deal with him and that is a fulltime job in itself only without pay and that he needs to give you some respect and stop treating you like a kid. of course if it was me i would probably drop him like a bad habit but that's just me but do what works best for you but this is just a bit of advice good luck!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

Don't let him control your life let him know if he keeps doing that you'll leave him and think of all the people that will let your life flow through and take care of your daughter you need to think about your daughter first though so take care of her first and tell him the only reason why you stay home is because of your daughter.

Answer 7

Get a job and establish your own rules.
It´s your life, darling and if you spoil the possibility to be happy, well, then you´ve lived your life in vain.
I understand, that you don´t want to be a single mom, but don´t you think that it would be better living on your own than being oppressed by some kind of immature and selfish guy???

Answer 8

see marie! i dont know how old ru? but my advice is plz dont try to break any relation ship wht ever kind of.bcoz we girls generally dont make any mistake in choosing a boy as i think.only if we feel they are then only we proceed.

so my advice is u better talk to ur frnd clearly and try to tell him ur feelings openly take as much time u need to convince him...

to break a relation with a person may take a second but to built again is impossible.

even then if he wont change then u have atleast that satisfaction that i tried to change him a lot but he didnt so one day he definitely recognises to value of ur friendship..

ALL THE BEST

Answer 9

splitting up is not a solution to ur problem.. you both can work things out.. fr a relationship to be strong its jus tht u need commitments from both the ends.. and by getting angry at ur bf u r jus making the matters worse.. so as to what I suggest its all in ur hand be patient.,try to convience ur bf,, go out for outings.. enjoy ur life after all this is the time when ur child needs u both.. and soon after this time fade away.. leaving you both jus to regret tht u didnt care about ur daughter.. nyways take care and all the best.........

Answer 10

the most practicle answer i think is to talk with him. try to convince him that you are also a human & u too like some freedom. but you should have verymuch patience. he will not understand in once. you have to try it many times in different ways. and most important thing is his mood. look for his best mood.
And one suggetion to you if you love him don't argue with him. it will make him weak. if he gets angry you cool down. after his anger go to him and explain everything with love and sweetness. you have to be a lover instead of a wife. because men likes to see his wife as his lover. best of luck.