If I have ever needed help before this is it......?

Question

Basically, yes I am engaged and my fiance is great, we have our ups and downs like all couples. We get along and love eachother very very much.
And then...I wasnt expecting this to come along BUT I started a new job and along came this man...we met briefly and then kept running into eachother at work. We eventually went out a few times in the evening for some drinks and connected sooooo well.
JUST TALKED nothing else.
but after a while we couldnt help ourselves and shared a kiss. it was the best thing I have ever felt.
Now its been a few weeks and he told me that it was love at first site for him and even asked if I would marry him and move in with him...
I have left him hanging with no answer because I still love my fiance so much but now I CANT STOP THINKING about him and that I want to be with him.
my fiance is good but can you be in love with 2 different people? I dont know what is going on and need some advice..please HELP!

Answer 1

I've been there before and in the end all that was left was agony & shattered lives. The grass isn't always greener on the other side!!! What I learned from my past mistakes and wrong choices is what NOT to do again. For myself- I realized that if I TRULY was in love with my man I NEVER would have "went out a few times in the evening for some drinks" with another man that I felt even a minor attraction to. That is a no-no. Once you realized that you two "connected soooooo well" you should have completely cut off all social ties and did some soul searching within yourself. Do your fiance a favor and let him go- there is someone out there who can love him completely and righteously. If you ever even just CARED for your fiance you'll hope that he finds that one.

Answer 2

Well, the first thing you do is give the ring back and say that there have been some developments in your life that you have to resolve outside of a committed relationship. That's only fair to your fiance. Yes, he's going to be incredulous and ask a ton of questions. But, you need to go ring-less for a while. If he really presses for an explanation, tell him the truth: you've met someone else and you have to make a decision.

Face it: you have a wandering spirit and no matter how much you think you love someone, you now know that you have a character flaw that could ruin a marriage. You've connected with someone while in a committed relationship and the kiss was cheating on him, plain and simple. And, since you've cheated on your fiance, you might also cheat on this wonderful new guy you've met once that becomes serious.

Call time out. Get away from both of these guys for a while and figure out what you want out of your life and how seriously you intend to keep your commitments. Your fiance may not be there when you get back. But, you caused that to happen when you kissed the handsome prince.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I would really STOP and think about what you are doing, there is NO such thing as love at first site. You can't love a man you know next to nothing about! If you do think that you care for him more than your fiance then you should tell you fiance and leave him and try things with this other man. I would really think about it all though, are you sure it's not just one of those situations where you want what you cant have. It's like he is forbidden to you cause you are taken, so you may just like the idea of something different and something that your not suppose to be doing. It sounds a little crazy that guy would want to marry you and move with you right away. Just think everything through before you act on anything, you could make the biggest mistake of your life. Careful!!

Answer 4

Ask yourself this question.
Could you or would you talk about this with your fiance openly and honestly? Get a good marriage counselor to get help in healing any of your bad feelings. If your fiance has problems with this there maybe some questions about his commitment to you. I would bet all I have he is going to have some very hurt feelings, but it would be much better to figure out before the wedding what you both want.
FYI, my love cheated on me some four years ago and it has been so very hard to heal from it. We have been together some 15 plus years and my vow to her at times has been the only thing to keep me devoted to her. Do wish this kind of thing on your fiance?
It is adult time now. Do not let your love make the mistake of wedding you if you are not willing to commit to him and have him understand and accept your flaws. Which is just what you must do for him, if you are to be his wife and the love of his life.

Answer 5

Be honest w/ yourself and your fiance'
i know the feeling way to well. If u loved your fiance another man would never catch your eye take a time out but remember it always feels great until the new wears off!!!!!!!

Answer 6

Honestly, I don't think you should be with neither one. You sound very confused. You obviously don't know what love is. Don't you see that after a few drinks your both lusting over each other. Stay off the drinks. Drinking is a mood changer. Your going to end up making the wrong decision, and after he gets what he's after your going to end up by yourself. Have a little bit more respect for yourself. Good Luck!

Answer 7

ah..its new, its exciting, its forbidden,its electrifying, and its probably lust and infatuation. your own behavior not withstanding,i wonder about the character of a man who hones in on another mans fiance. these things happen. you are not a bad person, but you may be a foolish person- if you give up what you have . you must have a heart to heart with this man and find out his true character.he might not be so appealing. he is showing you only what he wants you to see. what you want to bet he is not nearly as great as he seems ? tread lightly. best wishes

Answer 8

Why would you go out for drinks with another man? You sound very confused. Do your fiance a favour and confess before he gets too involved with you. You obviously aren't mature enough for a marriage.

Answer 9

If you truly loved your fiance, you never would have even went out with this other guy. This whole situation could have been easily avoided. Go with what your heart tells you.

Answer 10

Maybe fate brought the new guy into your life- choose the one you most want to be with. You could love them both but you are more then likely only in love with one of them.