how do you gain the courage to tell people about your problems?

Question

I have never liked to talk to people about my anxieties and worries but I realize that I cant keep locking this up inside because i need to let it out in order to feel better. I just cant imagine me poaring out my heart to people though. How can I overcome this?

Maybe not for you, but its hard for me and i cant even describe what i feel sometimes

Answer 1

Hello there,
I do not like to "pour out my heart," either. It just seems strange to me to tell people all my feelings and secrets. Those things should be kept personal, and some people just barge in on us and say, "You need to see a counselor!" or "Something's wrong with you!". That's just the way I am. I don't like to share my private life with other people, and it's hard for me if people try to force me to do so. I also keep a diary; that's one way to share your feelings on paper with the security of knowing that nobody else will see it.

Answer 2

Asking people for help is one of the hardest things we ever have to do. You have already found some courage to ask this question in the first place, so good for you. Journals are a good way to start, writing lets you put your thoughts in order so that they make sense. A lot of times, when we are anxious, we are afraid we can't make ourselves understood, and that keeps us from getting help. A journal lets you practise for when you do tell someone, practise talking to your mirror as well, so you can get comfortable saying whats on your mind. You may even discover some answers yourself. When you are ready to talk you have to decide on the right person, depending on what your concerns are. Is the best person a friend/family member, or a counsellor, a religious leader, teacher or whatever, maybe a crisis line is a good first step, you can talk to someone, and remain anonymous, and they can direct you to the right people. In my experience, it always feels better when you do speak, and you wonder why you were afraid. Find someone you trust, and start small. Good luck.

Answer 3

1. Find some people you don't need to impress. Hopefully you have some close friends who will still like you even if they learn that you have a bunch of issues. Find a time when you guys are just hanging out and are really relaxed (if you have to get some liquid courage, that works too). Then tell them something small that's been bothering you and as you see them not get freaked out by it you'll know it's OK to share larger problems too. If they are a good friend then not only will they not mind you telling them about your problems, but they will appreciate it very much that you trust them enough to tell them this.

2. If you don't have close friends like that then join a group of some sort where you have a bunch of well meaning strangers that you don't have to impress. Join a church home group, or a support group of some sort. Tell them how you feel because it shouldn't matter what they think about you, you'll probably never see them outside of those meetings.

3. Start writing things out in a journal. Or start blogging online. Find some people on myspace with similar interests, add them as friends and start typing away on your blogs, some of them will read them and respond positively. Then you'll know which people it's OK to talk to about this stuff. I will often write things out in a blog that I am not comfortable just talking to people about but still want to share.

4. Join a volunteer organization. Not only will you be helping others and will feel better about yourself, you'll also be reminded that there's always someone who has it worse and we always have some things to be thankful for. Hopefully this will give you a mindset of looking at your problems as obstacles to be overcome, not immovable roadblocks.

5. You can always just send me an e-mail message and I'll be happy to correspond with you via e-mail or myspace. I have plenty of time on my hands, as you can tell, and I won't judge you no matter what.

Take one of these suggestions or all of them and use them. I wish you the best from the bottom of my heart. Personal anxieties are never easy to conquer, but no matter what, try to stay positive, don't focus as much on the problems as on the progress you've made already and try to take things one step at a time. You'll be alright.

Answer 4

There is a difference between talking to people about how you feel about everyday things and even the worries we all have and talking to someone about our anxieties. The fact that you are asking this question indicates to me that you need to talk to someone but have concerns about the risk of being rejected. You are right that having a safe place to express your concerns can help you feel better. But just important is getting unbiased, nonjudgmental feedback. As much as we might try it is impossible to give this kind of support to family and friends.

Talking to a therapist has strong stigma attached, especially for some cultures in our society. It has been demonstrated over and over that for people with emotional stress this type of therapy can be most beneficial. For some people it provides so much relief and insight that they maintain a long term relationship with their therapist (not as a crutch but as a open-minded sounding board.)

I strongly suggest you seek a competent, qualified therapist that you are comfortable with. Talking with a therapist is a very personal experience. Take the time to find one you are comfortable with; just realize that they may, from time to time tell you something that is hard to hear. It is well worth the effort. Your community mental health center or your primary care physician can help you find a good therapist.

Best wishes.

Answer 5

Trusting people with your innermost anxieties can be impossible for some, but a challenge truly worth overcoming. It's true that many people feel better after having an opportunity to express themselves to a few close friends, but friendship is built on trust. You need to know that you can trust the person you confide in. Start small--talk about little things that worry you, then work your way to things that are really overwhelming. It's not something that happens overnight, but it is worth working your way up to it!

Answer 6

u probably feel if u talk bout ur problems with someone theyre gonna judge u and think ur a lost cause or somethin so the first step to overcomin this is u need to find someone u really trust and have complete faith in.. someone that accpets u for who u are and even though they may not be able to help u atleast theyll hear u out and often times jus talkin helps a lot ....basically u need to beleive that u can open up in front of someone cause if u keep everythin inside u its gonna eat u up slowly and then it wont be an option for u whether or not to tell ppl bout ur worries itll become a necessity cause you'll need a shrink to talk to ! makes sense huh

Answer 7

If you have any of your friends or family who you'd like to talk to, just call them over for a night. try playing truth or Dare with them at the end of the day. I have found that the night takes away some of our inhibitions and the game can be very relaxing.

If that sounds too brave, try some online help groups, or run an anonymous blog. That way, you can talk without identifying yourself.

Then, slowly, as you get more comfortable with talking about your problems, you might also be able to speak about them in the non-virtual world.

Answer 8

Its good to share your worries and anxieties with others but this should be limited to your friend circle only.Its always advisable to spell out something when the other person is in the mood to listen.We sometime come across certain instance when someone likes to know more and more abt us.This is the right time to discuss our things to nears and dears.Suppose sometime your mood is off and someone wanted to know the reason for the same ,then you can share your things with the person.

Answer 9

Well first of all if you have any problems, it is good that you tell someone because sometimes you need to get certain things off of your chest. If you are thinking of telling someone your problems, make sure that you trust this person, and know that they will understand. Then think about how you will feel after telling someone you trust, and that they will understand, and help you. I know its hard telling people your feelings, but after you do, you will feel so much better, and then you will know that you can trust in people, and yourself.

Answer 10

in my opinion telling other people youre problems is a good way to express your feelllings. but make sure you share it to a person who you really trust and you know that this person could helped you cope. Think on the brightside of telling.
1. you will have someone to share your problems with.
2. someone could give advice to overcome with this problems
and 3rd you will feel much better and also you'll know who are the people who will always be there for you. : )