do you think this is true?

Question

this has happened to me twice in the past 6 months or so. i have these two good friends and each of them have told me they did not want to date or be together because i was too good of a friend and didnt want to hurt me / get hurt. it's just interesting that both of them said this. Talking to each friend about this maybe occured between a 2 month gap of each other. This quite possibly be true. I think in the start of a friendship that is the time to make a move. Once people become good friends i gues there is a fear of losing them? These arent just anyfriends either. I would consider both of them my best friends. Do I just have to distance myself more? not be as open or friendly?

ok first girl when we met she had an abusive boyfriend. i talked to her everynight and eventualy she got rid of him. after spending more time with her i developed feelings. when i told her i liked her, she said she had bad experiences dating people she had become good friends with.
-the second girl, we met because we have mutual friends and we just started talking. after a few times seeing her again i asked to hang out alone you know. she said yeah and we held hands and we would flirt in class. then there was kind of a weird shift. it kind of seemed like she was flirting with everyone else but me. i dont know what caused the shift..honestly bas memory, but now she is just a loyal friend and we can talk about anything, etc. she said she didnt want to hurt me because she is bad at relationships and me being sensitive i guess she could see herself hurting me unintentionally.

in the first situation she had a boyfriend, not much i could do at first
-second situation.. lol no clu

Answer 1

Thats a tough question to answer without seeing you in action, or what you look like.

If you are that brother type that so easily falls intothe just friends category, well thats you bringing upon your own demise.

But I dont know a girl out there that wouldnt want someone they could be friends with, who also knew how toflirt, had a taste of spice to his swagger, and knew how to dance.
Every girl wants that.

Maybe they cant see you as anything other than a just friends guy, because you lack mac daddy skills.
Thats my assessment, because a girl wants a guy she feels so comfortable with, who shes attracted to, and who can bring out the female side of her, with all the flirting and courtship.

So, in my eyes you seem like that sweet kind of guy that's probably too sensitve to be considered as boyfriend material with
No flirtation skills, no seductive skills, no mac daddy skills.
So mac yourself up some!

Answer 2

You are probably a kind person and that is a good thing no matter how you look at it. Distancing yourself from that just can't really make sense, and I think you know that. I will however pass on to you something that I was told years ago and it makes more sense every day. That is "You are lucky in this life if you ever find ONE true friend". Sure you will have a lot of people you call friend. It's normal.People are social, and want to be accepted. However; when enough time goes by you will notice the changing faces; in your circle of friends. You may also notice one face has always been inside the circle. In some way always involved in your life. Your life's witness. I thought that meant my wife. I was wrong. She has moved on. Maybe Friendship is as elusive as Love. (You know...that lucky thing?) In any case you have made your feelings known to two of your friends. Just let whomever you choose know that you don't want to loose a friend, Rather; You would like to keep a friend.I wish you luck. You will need it. We all do.

Answer 3

okay I think that people can be really good friends and go out or they can just be that, good friends. maybe it has to do with the beginning. did you meet by flirting? or just casual chit chat to be nice. do you tell them things that you wouldnt tell them if you liked them? these are the questions you should ask. maybe they veiw you as like their brother. I dont know. Once you've gotten in a situation where they want to be good friends they dont want distance, they want to be your good friend & maybe you could talk to them & theres a chance you could go out with one of them. but my advice is to keep two best friends. you need best friends more than anything anyway. you're pretty lucky :]

Answer 4

I think you are playing a wrong tune here. Girls, in my experience, are pretty clear what they want from a boy and they arrive at that decision in the first few meetings. Be clear on your objective and let it be known (... subtly of course). Distance yourself in certain area and keep the mystery up! should work the magic!!

Answer 5

I am afraid that the two young persons were both telling you to get lost, and were trying to be kind about it, lame as it was. Look elsewhere for companionship. As it is, they're enjoying the attention from you, and have no intention of taking you seriously.

Answer 6

You have to keep a distance & understand their attitude well before taking a forward step. Remember sincerity in relationship is a big thing.

Answer 7

They simply are not interested in you as boyfriend material.

Answer 8

ey i know wat you mean .. it happened to me many times ... they "dont want to ruin wat we have" .. i always thought that was bull but now i just distenced myself and got further and further away and then they wanted me back ... so yea ... i didnt get togethor with them but we became i dont know how to put it but more ... i guess intamite but not doing anything ... or yoou can either have them as friends and find someone else new

Answer 9

LOOK PEOPLE are people. PEOPLE make mistakes all day long.