Does this poem sound good?

Question

Tell me what you think and PLEASE rate from 1-10



Before, I had felt like a little kid whose Candy has been taking away.
I am as delicate as glass.
I am broken easily.
I WAS broken easily.
I felt like I just wanted to give up.
On the outside, I looked happy.
But on the inside, I was crying black tears.
Now, I only cry those happy tears.
Because of you, I never gave up.
You helped me heal.
Please, don't let me be broken again.

ok then, what is it?

im 14 years old

Answer 1

hmm....it actually doesnt sound as poem but not completely.Its not bad actually its quite good...but you still need to improve.I suggest you ask somebody close to you and this field.Ask him to make some improvements in your poem.Then find out the result ..you yourself will find it interesting.BEST OF LUCK !!

Answer 2

Very good.

Consider removing the word 'had' from the first line, change 'taking' to 'taken' and un-capitalize 'Candy.'

In line 8, should 'those' be 'these,' or some other word?

You have a good sense of how the sound of the words contributes to the general feeling of the poem.

At least an 8 or a 9.

Answer 3

You really need to work on your meter and rythym. I like poems that don't rythme so that part is OK. I think it's a good start, just needs some polishing.

Answer 4

To be accurate, this is not poetry. Poetry has meter and rhythm. This is prose, poetic expression without meter or rhythm.
I would rate it about a 4.

Answer 5

Depends on your age dear. I write poetry too and this poem sounds "junior highish" to me. I can't give an honest rating because I don't know your age.

Answer 6

honestly no. i give it a 4

Answer 7

no offense, but it's not really a poem.