is having access to each others email account overkill for trust to be strong? what does it mean if one partner creates another account. is it neccessary for a marriage to succed if one or both partners keeps secrets no matter how small in nature?
2007-02-17 16:46:53 · 18 answers · asked by leren 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Can you be too open with your partner? I say "no". But, some people are insecure and some things you may tell them would upset them. But I feel that the person you love should know your deepest, darkest secrets, and if they can't still love you knowing that, then your relationship is not headed in the right direction.
It always amazes me that people will be more honest with their friends then they will with their own spouse. The one person in the world, your spouse, that should love you unequivocally, and yet we hide things from them to protect their feelings, because they may have insecurities and can't deal with things in your past, or present.
My wife and I have nothing to hide from each other. She has all my email passwords, she can look at my phone text messages anytime she wants. And I have all hers. Do we ever look at each other's emails and TM's? No. The fact that we can is enough. We do respect each other's privacy because we thoroughly trust each other.
2007-02-17 18:29:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married 8years now and have all the passwords and access to my husbands accounts on everything. No, I don't think you can be too open with your partner. Just because I have the access doesn't mean I check on things. If there is trust issues here, then there is a problem between you two. Maybe you should talk to him and see if it bothers him that you have access to his account. If so, then you need to ask why it bothers him. What is he hiding?
2007-02-18 00:54:03 · answer #2 · answered by impossiblemama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Leren,
It is escential that the both of you are honest with each at all times but that you also have some sort of private life. I was married for 16 years and felt like I had no privacy sometimes. Other than my e-mail I shared everything with her; sometimes my e-mails were the only thing that I had that were private. (Another words) I was losing my own self of who I was. You don't want to put your husband though this and you don't want him to put you though this either. By the way all of our accounts were joint. It would have been nice if I could have had some of my own paycheck to spend on something that I wanted; she worked also but all of our money went into the same account.
I hope this helps. Learn from my past mistakes.
2007-02-18 00:55:20 · answer #3 · answered by Buster 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it has anything to do with keeping secrets, I think it has more to do with maintaining some kind of contriol. I think it is human nature to want to have some kind of control over our lives and just because a person marries doesnt mean they give up their rights to their idividuality. Yes, I believe you can go overboard with this "sharing" thing, and If I were to ever marry again, that is a part of the relationship I would insist on. I dont want to be totally dependent on my spouse...I need my own space. That doesnt mean I am going to keep secrets or cheat on him...it means I like to maintain a little bit of control in my life.
2007-02-18 00:53:18 · answer #4 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is everything in a marriage... if you don't have it, then you are pretty well screwed... however, you also need a little breathing room on your own to. Knowing each others passwords isn't a bad thing, going in and checking his/her mail before they read it, is a bad thing.
2007-02-18 00:51:07 · answer #5 · answered by emtb9 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust is not like sharing each e-mail account it is in the feeling and emotion
2007-02-18 01:15:55 · answer #6 · answered by secret &trade 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never hide my passwords to anything from my husband and he soesn't either. I never look at his email, cell phone or anything else. We just trust each other. I know if I had anything to hide I would set up a different password. ummm... Ask him why.
2007-02-18 01:11:23 · answer #7 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A key of successful relationship is compatibility and communication, a relationship can NOT survive and grow any further without these two factors!
Be honest with yourself and your partner.
2007-02-18 01:02:32 · answer #8 · answered by purplemollies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even married people need privacy.
He should not be going into your email, or checking your cell phone call records, etc. His jealousy does not show his love for you, it only shows his own insecurity.
I say all of this assuming that you are not cheating...
2007-02-18 01:14:20 · answer #9 · answered by Kevman9999 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think that you can be to open with some that you love
but if they are things that he keeping from them that could be
problem down the road. you cant keep secrets from each other
that not a good place to be in a relationship.
2007-02-18 01:04:49 · answer #10 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋