why would a wife stay in a refuge for battered woman?

Question

when no voilence or abuse has occurred and her only reason is that her man works long hours to support the family and is occasinally ratty when tired.

Answer 1

Easy to get away from u.. plain and simple..

Answer 2

A refuge is no longer just for battered women, abuse does not only have to be physical.

What does occasionally ratty mean? Could be your version of ratty does not meet hers.

If you really have done nothing wrong, then she is setting you up, though you usually need a pretty good amount of evidence to get a place in a refuge.

Answer 3

When women go to those places they get evaluation to see the reason they seeking refuge.
When this man is "ratty" does he even pay attention to the pain and suffering that is causing to his wife or is he in denial?
I'm sure there's much to talk about with his wife and accept responsibilities, too many hours of work doesn't justify abusing (emotionally or physically) the other spouse. All those hours he works she is keeping their home worth of a marriage. Imagine reversing roles, or try it for a few days.

Answer 4

yes mate a refuge is not just for battered wife's it is as it says a refuge to get away from pain whether it be mental/physical/sexual and why do you work all the time to give your family a better life well mate you are not a family is a unit you have to share love/pain be together be happy so in a nut shell money is needed by everyone but more important is the love and caring partners give each other cut down the hours and live as a family show your wife she is important to you Dave

Answer 5

"ocassionally ratty when tired" might seem like abuse if you were on the receiving end of the rat tail! lick your wounds and take a good long look in the mirror -- get some counselling. I know a lot of guys who are mean-spirited control freaks who think they are hard working loving husbands who are just trying to hold their families together -- she might be the manipulator here, but if she needs to stay in a shelter, then chances are, she's got a point about your behavior, buddy.

Answer 6

If the husband has a history of being 'ratty', then she is wise to stay in a shelter. These shelters a basically safe houses where a woman can regroup from a nasty spouse knowing that he won't be able to locate her, while she figures out her next move. Police will respond to a call from a battered womens shelter very quickly as they know these situations can be very nasty.

Answer 7

Most likely it's done out of the fear of being physically abused,and that she not only doesn't want to live in the fear of being physically or even verbally abused by her husband,but that the shelter is her way of not only escaping the situation at home,but may even be helpful as far as making the total complete break from the abuser himself,just by not living together with him.

Answer 8

What is your definition of "ratty"? I doubt the shelter would accept her unless she made a good case that she was physically or emotionally abused.

Answer 9

The batterer seldom admits the crime. I suspect she's there to be safe from a vicious but cowardly lout.It's a very lowlife that hits a woman and should be castrated publicly.

Answer 10

I'm guessing that "occasionally ratty" probably translates to emotionally and/or physically abusive.

Answer 11

Strange.
If in fact there's NO violence or abuse, she might be feeling she's mentally abused. Obviously she has some kind of mental issue here and this move she's made might help her to get her ducks in line.