What do you think about my poem?

Question

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord my soul to keep
He grabbed my arms and threw me down
Struck only by pain as I hit the ground
I try to stand, I try to run
He pulls me back, he is not yet done
He raised a hand and hit my face
I know why he's mad, I tried to excape
I beg forgiveness; he only yells
Slapping,kicking I don't feel so well
I tried to hold on but I begin to cry
This angers him more, I do not know why
"Please oh please"...I am scared to say
But he replies with a frown "It doesn't work out that way"
I know I did wrong but I don't want to ache
He will not stop or listen for even god's sake!
He grabbed my hair,pushing me to the floor
I thought it was over but no there's more
He picks me up, pushing me into the wall
Here comes another punch, this time I crawl
I look ahead but then I see
He is dragging me back, I cannot brake free
He flips me over, I lay still on my back
I can take no more, I am about to crack
So now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord my soul to keep
No more loud voices, no tortured shreiks
He walks away,leaving me to bleed
I broke his rules now I shall pay
I hope and I pray that I can be loved some day.

Answer 1

It's kind of twisted... what has that poem have to do with marriage/divorces?

Answer 2

Get yourself to a shelter right this instant. I have been there. You're poem is very good, but I understand more than I would like to recall, frankly. Get out. Pack a bag, and go to the nearest safe house where he cannot find you. In this moment that it hurts so badly, and in this instant that it scares you to death, when you leave, and start again, you will become so strong that you had no idea that you could become such a great person, and so loved by so many. But you must leave now. Get to a safe house. They love you. I love you. Be very quiet, and don't worry about your "stuff", just get out. Go quickly. Call a friend or the police, and just go.

Answer 3

Um... Well, if this is just a poem you wrote that bares no truth, then ok, it's very dark. If this poem is you speaking truth you have lived or have seen, then I suggest you seek help. Abusive relationships is not something to make fun of, or to live with. There is help out there and I know because I have seen abuse. It may not sometimes feel like you can escape, like he wil find you, but believe me, there is help out there. Have you gone to the police? You need to seek help, people like that will not stop until they are stopped.... God bless, Im praying for you...

I assume you are wanting help... most abused victims would not put something like this up for the world to see, unless they were seeking help as abuse seems to take away a persons pride and sense of worth....if this is not about you, and is about someone you know....help them to get the help they need.

Answer 4

Well, my God, I'm at a loss for words! You took a child's bedtime prayer and.........did ....I'm not sure what, with it. OK, let me start over. I just have to ask a question of my own first, I hope you don't mind........Is this scenario one that you actually live, or is it just made up, for a poem? I would really like to know, no kidding.
OK, back to the question, No, I can't truly say I like your poem. Let me say however, you did a wonderful job with rhyming the lyrics and you were consistent with it. It wasn't repetitive, (a plus), I just really can't get over the content you know what I mean? A woman who actually lives in that kind of environment needs desperately to change her situation. There are lots of places that can help. If you need help, email me, I'll see what I can do OK! Your friend on line, Terry

Answer 5

Is this poem fiction or not? If this is real (and yes, it sounds real), it's great that you pray-I'm a firm believer in prayer. But, God loves you and doesn't want you to suffer. You need to get to a safe place, report these incidents, get a restraining order, and if married-file for a divorce! My Dad was a lot like this and I was so relieved when my Mom broke free. And, thank God, he sent me a good man. No woman should have to go through this.

Answer 6

You have a wonderful gift to but your feelings down. I lived with a man who did this to my mother, so I kind of feel you. I hope more than anything that you try to get help, your hurting and that will never stop still you leave. There are people who can help you, just reach out. Don't stop writing, you are very good.

Answer 7

I think you're angry at God for not protecting you from that r@pist. This is really a horrible poem, although it rhymes and all that. I guess it's just depressing. It does get you to envision the scene of the crime. Sorry if this is a true story...

Answer 8

He abused you more than you can bear.
Take no pain anymore.
Don't let him be all over you,
Don't let him shed your blood anymore,
Don't let him make you a victim anymore.
Dial 9-1-1, and stand still.
Soon enough, help will be on your way!

Answer 9

If this is for real CALL THE POLICE ASAP. If not it is a very
nasty poem of someone who is living a hell of a life with a controlling abusive a ss.

Answer 10

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep I guess he didn't know there were police,so Lord rest his soul without no sheets. Make him see he needs help, and Lord use me to heal dreams of welps.And let him see he was wrong and Lord fix me to stay strong.Now I lay me down to sleep I pray to God he can sleep ,For what hes done,.in front of his son,will not be the end to his futures won.and God help me to raise our kids with respect & pride and not let them slide.Now I lay me down to sleep,I pray the Lord my soul to keep ,for I know we are loved . For jesus died for our sins, so now help us to be friends.

Answer 11

This is simply stated and says volumes. It should be printed and put in every shelter and jail. Very appealing and says volumes in very emotional and in a straightforward text.