Me and my fiance broke up 2 weeks ago. I am pregnant with our first baby. We have been together for a long time. (7 years) He says that I took him for granted and that he could NEVER satisfy me...I think this really opened my eyes and I hope we get back together but If it was to happen, I rather it happen now and not after the baby is born. This is a horrid time to do this, Yes, I know. I do think we needed space from each other because everything was so overwhelming for both of us. He has no family here so he ran to his daddy 2000 miles away. I was just wondering if anyone has been in this situation? He told my mother maybe this will open up my eyes. I have been reading self-help books and realized maybe I did take him for granted...Any advice would be great! Thanks!
2007-02-17 15:43:22 · 12 answers · asked by angelsdeath420 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Now that I look back I guess there was some signals..I just was blind. He knows I been reading the self help books but I just don't know. He said its better I realized this late better then never. He said he has to think about alot of things but 2 weeks ago he basically told me its over, move on. I just keep getting mixed signals from him. I guess its just a waiting game until our child is born.
2007-02-17 15:53:54 · update #1
I would never get back together JUST for my baby..I know that isn't the right thing to do. I really love him. If I didn't I wouldn't want to work at it so bad but I feel like he doesn't or isn't ready to. It's hard to show him when he is so far away and he has no family here so he wouldn't be really in our babys life.
2007-02-17 15:58:18 · update #2
Oh and I was a dedicated woman to him. I did everything I could do...All the womanly duties as you would call it..I think he might have took me for granted too.
2007-02-17 15:59:10 · update #3
Well maybe this is your wake up call. To have him leave with you pregnant tells me that he must of been overly fed up. It is not going to be easy, you will need to show him, not tell him things to get him back, such as doing the things you neglected to do for him thus why he uses the taking for granted line. Not once, it will have to be a change for you to do it all the time as if you revert back to taking him for granted, of which he probably is scared of, he will leave again.
2007-02-17 15:50:44 · answer #1 · answered by St.Jeb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people when they meet, they never think about being friends first. Even though you two have been together for 7 years you were not in-tune to each other because you would have known how he felt long before he left. The lines of communication were not there. I don't know your situation but he says he did not satisfy you that could mean a lot of thing, feels, sexual or material but what I say is you have to show feelings to what ever he does for you because you could have someone that does not care at all. If he is a loving and giving man you really never know what you have until someone else gets him. If and when you two get back together you both need to sit down at lease a half hour a day (we lay in the bed) and talk about things (life, work, what the baby does and feelings). Listen more and watch the things he does it tells you a lot about what he likes and dislikes. Good Luck
2007-02-18 00:12:22 · answer #2 · answered by Peaches 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it takes for someone to leave to realize what you had... I think the act of someone leaving makes you re-evaluate the way you are. In my own personal experience, if someone leaves once, they will leave again. It takes work, dedication, and commitment to make a relationship work. Fleeing isn't any of those. I was married, I left and came back numerous times. I'm almost divorced now. Haven't seen him in over a year. But I know being on the fleeing side, that I wanted things to be different... but there are some things that will never change. And to get together just for a child, that's not a good idea either. I have three children, and we're just fine without my almost ex... Children feel and sense the tension between parents. So it's not a good idea anyway. Go to counseling if you want it work out... That's about the only way anything will change with your relationship.
2007-02-17 23:52:48 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you did take him for granted why were there no signals before he left. Didn't you talk to each other about how you were feeling? Get in touch and tell him you are sorry and you want to try again. Tell him you have read the books and understand what went wrong and that you know it won't happen again. If he comes back for goodness sake talk to each other regularly
2007-02-17 23:48:14 · answer #4 · answered by smilingtalker_au 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it makes you look at yourself and find that sometimes we all need to be better.Each of us has our short comings and each of us could use a good reality check in our lives.Think about the relationship and ask yourself if you did everything you could to make it work. Most people will find things they could have changed or maybe something they were doing wrong.It takes both partners to make it work and if one is more needy than the other someone is going to be abused in the relationship.
2007-02-17 23:55:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes we women can be a bit selfish at times. thinking u may loose urself if u devote urself to ur relationship. it takes work on both parts, how do u feel he appreciated u??u always wamt to try to keep ur family together especially when their is a baby involved, do u feel that a big part of u is gone now that he has left? noone knows the two of u so only u can really answer that question.
2007-02-17 23:49:56 · answer #6 · answered by divalicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well not to sound cliche, but you always miss something once you've lost it...
and its true. you dont value the true meaning of something until its gone.
and it seems that you finally realized what a big part of your life he is...and you can't let him go.
i think it was part of his plan to just let you see how much you mean to eachother...maybe just a few weeks apart will clear your heads, think things out, and realize that you are meant to be together.
dont worry, i think things will work out!
best of luck and i hope things work out for you!!
2007-02-17 23:49:22 · answer #7 · answered by Kitty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people learn by their own mistakes. Others learn by other people's mistakes. And some people never learn.
Is there anything in there for you?
2007-02-17 23:52:11 · answer #8 · answered by Beejee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes definitely!! everyone will go through this at least twice a lifetime maybe once
2007-02-17 23:49:09 · answer #9 · answered by Kylah O'Neal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you, yes sometimes we do need lessons in life, self help books? how can you help yourself? God is the strenght that we all need..... please seek God and you shall find Him, He would gladly help you through anything......Jesus loves you
2007-02-17 23:55:31 · answer #10 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋