My dad is a raging drunk who has never cared about me and still doesn't. My mom hasn't visited or called once since I went away to college and when I call her all she does is complain about how awful her life is (she can fix it, but won't). They obviously don't care about me. Neither of them gave me any money or support during college. I sent them both letters saying I'm not attending my graduation ceremony and that I'm going out of town that week. Is it wrong that I don't want them there to ruin my day of celebration?
2007-02-17 15:12:34 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It is best to have people that are supportive of you there for your day as you have worked hard (btw congratulations on college graduation that is a huge achievement !!). If your parents were not very supportive of you and you do not feel close to them you shouldn't feel obligated to have them there. Invite supportive people like friends or other close relatives. If they want you can give them a pic of you in your cap and gown afterwards but don't ruin your day for them.
2007-02-17 15:46:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If your parents really the way you explained then no I do not think you are wrong, but if it would be me I wouldn't lie to them. It sounds to me as if this "talk" is overdue, why don't you just tell it how it is. Apparently neither of them cares anyway, you should let'm know you do not want them at the graduation, do you honestly think either of them would attend? I honestly doubt it. Do you have siblings, if so how do you get along with them ? I just think it is sad for you not to have family with you on such a great
day! (That does not mean your parents should show...)
Once again I strongly believe you should be honest & tell them
exactly how you feel, its not as if you lose something you never
really had to begin with.... Learn from it & make sure you be a better parent one day if you plan on having children, good luck to
you in your future
2007-02-17 15:29:02 · answer #2 · answered by angela w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have your mind set as to why your not inviting them, and you have your reasons. So whats your question? And from the sounds of it, they don't even know your graduating. Your grown, and if they aren't worried about it, then why should you be? Go party girl. Congrats on finishing, that is a BIG accomplishment.
I just realized, you are the same one asking all those other questions. You must really have some issues. Your mom/dad can careless about you and your sister is mean to you. Perhaps you need to join a sorority so you can feel like they are your family. Or find a man, and have a family.
2007-02-17 15:17:21 · answer #3 · answered by BE HAPPY! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you discussed this at your ACOA meeting. It is a proud moment for you but you might want to see what others in your situation have done or feel about that. Having the folks there might impress those who know the handicap you overcame. You might state a few rules for parents attending to set the tone for your big day. You may be a self made success but you aren't self made, give them a chance to celebrate with you. Congratulations and good luck
2007-02-17 15:22:11 · answer #4 · answered by Outside the box 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations for your graduation!, You have made it, and you can be proud of yourself that you own it just to yourself and no one else. Having said that, I would like to say that we as parents are not perfect, I wish that every kid we have would come with a manual with the instructions on what mistakes we shouldn't make so our kids don't hate us, but the reality is there is no such thing, we try to do our best, of course some parents don't even try to do their best, but the majority do try, and is hard, you'll find that out one day when you become a parent, and probably will try to not make the same mistakes your parents did with you, but ...you will make others, but that's what makes you human. Is it good or bad that you don't want your parents with you? well...I guess it doesn't matter what everybody else think but you, and you have already made up your mind on what to do.
2007-02-17 15:54:11 · answer #5 · answered by fun 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all, good for you for putting yourself through school. You are not wrong to not want them there but honesty would be a better idea than lieing to them. Somehow I would think they already know why they won't be invited. If you think there is even a chance they might show up stick to your guns and lie to them but celebrate your day. That is a wonderful accomplishment.
2007-02-18 03:06:47 · answer #6 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay here is the two ways this could go:
1) Do you still want a relationship with your parents but feel like it will never truly work out?-----If so then you should invite them to come. I would send a letter explaining that you are going to your graduation and since they are your parents and you truly do care you would like for them to show. Hopefully everything will go fine and they will feel like you want them to be there.
2) Do you not want a relationship with your parents?-----Then I would stick with telling them you are not going to graduation and you hope to hear from them soon. The end.
Just remember that people screw up sometimes.....
Hope I helped you out.
2007-02-17 15:21:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are obviously struggling with societal expectations and your own life situation. You know best. Maybe in time things will get better with your parents, but it sounds like you have worked very hard to get to this point and want to celebrate. Please, don't feel guilty about not inviting them. This is your day that you have accomplished depsite the obstacles your parents have placed in your life. You can choose to enjoy it and deal with them on another day. Congrats and Good Luck!
2007-02-17 15:20:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well its not wrong because of the points you made ,but just think when they pass will you feel bad about it if so you should atlease invite them or just write them a letter to tell them how you really feel and see how there come back is and see if you still feel the same way..hope you like my advice.Congrats and good luck for doing something on your won with out you parents help!!
2007-02-17 15:17:59 · answer #9 · answered by hmm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Putting yourself through college. I am impressed! I really am. You should be proud of your accomplishment! As far as the parents go, send them an announcement. If they want to show then they show. If not, oh well. At least you made the effort.
Again, congrats on your graduation !!
2007-02-17 15:17:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋