Will he come to his senses?

Question

We was together for 7 years..Since I was 17 and been living together going on 4 years..This wasn't a planned pregnancy but he was REALLY excited and I was the one depressed for awhile. He is from up north and I am from the south. We was supposed to move to Wyoming because his dad could get him a job making 4 more grand a month, we was struggling with bills. His dad called about a month ago and said the job would not be there for long, so he moved up there. I was going see him for 2 weeks so we could pick out a house..He calls me almost 2 weeks ago and breaks up with me..I don't know what is going on with him. He calls me everyday and I only answer every now and then. Last week he was like WE ARE OVER,move on. So, now I am acting like I am moving on and he calls and wants to talk forever, he askes about me all the time. I don't know if he is scared because of the baby..Do you think he will come back? Sorry so long.

We didn't get engaged because of the baby..We had our wedding basically planned and was waiting until I got my degree until we got married because that is what I wanted. I am worried about my baby..Me and him both came from broken homes..He has no family here and maybe he just got scared and ran to them? Please nothing negative, Just here for some advice..He also called me on v-day and updates me about his day to day life. I just want to tell him if you don't want to be with me I don't need to know all that. I also bought some self help books because I realized that I did have some bad influences on our relationship because of some things in my past. I told him that I am trying to better myself for me and my baby because I don't want him to have negative thoughts like me. Oh well, I know this is long. Thanks!

No, I don't think he has been with someone else. He works with his dad and they work 14 hours a day. 7 days a week. His step mom keeps me informed.

Answer 1

Sounds like you are in a rough spot. I'm glad you are focusing on the baby. Just focus on yourself and your baby. What can you do for yourself to make your future better for you and your baby? Are you enrolled in school? There will be lots of resources available for you since you may be a single mother. You should take advantage of what is available. Take your vitamins. Take care of yourself. I cannot give you advise on why your guy wigged out on you. Maybe he is confused (obviously). But you cannot let his insecurity and confusion negatively impact you at this crucial time. He may come to his senses, but you are not in a position to play kiddy games of "I want you, I want you not." I think you should let him go, ignore him, whatever you need to do if his actions are hurtful to you emotionally or otherwise. If he wants to return or for you to join him, he will make this clear by coming for you, sending money, or whatever will make this possible. Until then, just be good to yourself and the future one. Research your possibilities. Pretend it will be you supporting the child alone, this will give you incentive to do what empowers you. Don't give up--it will be okay.

Answer 2

I think he might be scared, but it still doesn't give him a right to put you through this right now. It's not good for your baby for you to be so stressed about him.

Basically, you really have to speak your mind, and let him know that you need answers. Ask him what he's feeling. If he is just being selfish, than all you need to do is get down to asking him if he is going to be a part of his childs life. If not, then there is no reason for you to have any contact with him, because at this point, I think he just thinks that because you're pregnant he can do whatever he wants and you'll just be sitting around waiting for him when he wants you back.

Hopefully you can work things out, but you have to be very honest, and let him know that if he doesn't want to work things out then there is no need to keep calling you. You are allowing him to have too much power over you.

Relax and take good care of yourself. The self-help books are a great idea, but will only work if he is willing to work at your relationship as well.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Tell him to poop or get off the pot. Don't talk to him anymore. If he comes back, then maybe work it out. But chances are, he has been with someone else. I don't think it's because of the baby.Most men aren't like that. Get your act together for your baby. Don't worry about him right now. Focus on what you and the baby need right now. Your baby only has you at the moment. Please take care of yourself.