I am 35. When I was 18 this guy tried to rape me and I screamed like a maniac and he ran. We were at a mutual friends party and I went off to get some fresh air when he approached me (I know, dumb to be alone). The long and short of it is he tried to rape me and I did the right thing and screamed like a crazy woman until he ran away.
I went to a new restaurant tonight and he was the waiter. I told my husband (new news to him, by the way... i have never mentioned or thought about it for our 15 years of marriage. Maybe I blocked it? )
The short and the long of this question is why did I give in to my son's (14 yrs) questions about it? He asked why I was so weird at dinner - I told him over and over it was nothing he needed to be concerned with, my husband agreed. But in the end I told him that the guy waiting on us was someone,when I was much younger, tried to have his way with me. I told him a little about my fight (I won, did not get raped). I feel like I have scarred him.Now?
2007-02-17 15:00:02 · 12 answers · asked by itsjustfoolishness 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
FYI, my husband is a police officer specializing in juveniles. So, yeah, it isn't smart to beat someones *** - nor did I marry for money - jeez. Thanks everyone for the REAL answers. I appreciate it.
2007-02-17 15:10:01 · update #1
i honestly think what you did. was not negative at all. i dont feel you scarred him at all.. you showed him a part in reality that rape could possibly happen to anyone (possibly even his own mother) .. dont feel you scarred him .. lots of 14 year olds kno more about sex, drugs... and alcohol... and less about important thingslike rape, aids... and true meanings.. you are courageous. because you fought for what was yours .. your body.. you taught your son.. and then got waited on by the man who tried to have his way.... its good to have moms like you..(trust me im only 17 ) .
2007-02-17 15:07:05 · answer #1 · answered by lndsylcs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The memories won't in any respect fade away. yet you could cut back the harm with the help of being there for her. Dont attempt to rigidity her into conversing approximately it, because it could make her experience like she cant place self assurance in you. rigidity doesnt artwork. Do an test, tell her you wont touch her for one or 2 days until eventually she touches or starts getting intimate with you first. If she's no longer waiting, no super deal. yet whilst she makes a decision that she would be in a position to have the braveness to recover from what got here approximately and see which you arent pressuring her, she'll no longer in easy terms be nearer to you, whether it will additionally help her see that no longer anybody is a bad individual.
2016-09-29 06:27:10 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you have not scarred your son -- you have given him valuable information that few boys his age have -- that when a man uses or tries to use a woman, that they harm her for a very long time. Few boys realize that women deserve to be respected -- that the harm of such disrespect runs very deep -- and that it lasts for a very long time. Since you fought back and won, you son also knows that you are a strong, fierce woman. This is something that he might already have known about you, but now he knows for sure.
best wishes to you... and I hope that this man's walk through his past has helped him remember that he should never do such things
2007-02-17 15:08:03 · answer #3 · answered by snickersmommie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It better to be truthful with your children and not lie. Plus rape never has closer for you and the courts. If you feel like you need to press charges to get it out of your mind and get on with your life, then do it. Or you can tell yourself that it was years ago and your life is better than it could be. But if your son wants to talk about this again. Please talk to him and let him do the talking and you tell him straight.Because you ope the subject. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-02-17 15:10:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you were honest with your son, which will help your relationship in the future. Follow up on the topic and furthur explain the situation to him.
2007-02-17 17:29:17 · answer #5 · answered by Denise L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully your son can take something good away from this: treat women with respect.
Ask him how he feels about this awful event from your past. If he's horribly upset, you may need to consider counseling.
2007-02-17 15:08:06 · answer #6 · answered by diannegoodwin@sbcglobal.net 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go to your son and discuss the matter of Rape to him so he understands it better (depending on his age) ..
2007-02-17 15:03:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah, I would have kept that between you and your husband..maybe you were just shaken...understandably so, I must add.
2007-02-17 15:04:55 · answer #8 · answered by fade_this_rally 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm surprised your husband didn't kick his azs!
2007-02-17 15:03:09 · answer #9 · answered by Yahoo Answer Rat 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yeah that guy should go to the he**. and you're kid won't be messed up. he wants revenge on that devil waiter.
2007-02-17 15:04:23 · answer #10 · answered by Dick B 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋