i have a lot of friends that r guys and a lot of them like me and i like them but we wont date because we dont want to end up hating each other anyways some of us have a band and the others i go skateboarding and i ride dirtbikes and fourwheelers plus i play paintball with them and im the only girl, i can hold my own and everything else my mom has always supported me but now she has married my new stepdad he doesnt support or like the fact that im a tomboy he hates all the guys i hang out with he wants me to act like a "normal" lady, like make up and ponytails (i know that really isnt normal) dresses and all that stuff(not what i normally wear like hooded sweatshirts and bandanas)well i hate that and it will drive me crazy im my own person but he tries to own me what should i do i hate him and he never lets me hang out with my guy friends what can i do? o and im only 14 so....
i think its because his girls/kids are "normal" ladies
2007-02-17 14:59:39 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
i say , so be it, be who you want to be!
2007-02-17 15:12:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I know where you are coming from dear...I'm 18 right now, but it's not my step dad or anything trying to change me it's my husband.
All my life I grew up working behind the cattle chutes getting dirty with the boys, fourwheeling in the mud, playing football, driving fast and furious(lol), all that good stuff.
My family never had a problem with it because they knew they were just strickly friends, because I never related to other females like I guess I should've. Sure, I had my few select girlfriends, but they were just like me too, not afraid to get down and dirty.
But, now I have a restriction, just like you do, both of them males go figure. Guys that have an influence on your life like to think that they can change everything that you were before, and I think it's time for them to realize, that just cause you have guy friends, doesn't mean anything is going on.
Try telling your step-dad that you don't want to change into one of his daughters, that you are your own person, and you just wish he would respect that. Tell him, not only do you like the person you are, your mom doesn't mind. Tell him that your, your own person and that you just want him to understand you.
If anything talk to your mom about it. She should be able to help you out hun. If anything make a compromise with your step dad as well, tell him that you'll dress like a girl on fridays or something, but your not going to do it all the time. Just be yourself, tell them if he trys holding you back your just going to do it behind his back, so it's best that he just lets you do it without gripping, so that way he don't catch you when your not supposed to be doing it.
2007-02-18 00:15:03 · answer #2 · answered by Torey♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heh you remind me of me. I was pretty tomboyish but my parents never really minded. 'Cept my mom, she wanted me to be "ladylike" too. Honestly, I've slowly become a little more girlish the past year and a half, and honestly, I like it. I'm still away from the whole makeup thing though.
Stay yourself, and if he whines that much about it, just ignore him, or try being a little "ladylike" for a day. Who knows, you might like looking like a "girl." I know I do, despite what I used to say. But honestly, do what you like! To hell with him if he doesn't appreciate you for who you are, your mom does, that's all that matters. Try to find something that you two share in common so that he'll accept you. Your not his daughter, not yet at least, so he can't really control you. You can become his daughter if he learns to appreciate you. Whether or not you learn to accept him or not, just ignoooore hiiiim.
=) SHOW HIM WHAT YOU'RE MADE OF!!! Oh plus, his girls/kids, make sure they don't give you any of the same s*it. They should be around your age so they should accept you quicker than he, unless they're as ignorant as him. About him and the issue of you hanging out with your guy friends, I think he's looking out for you on that part. Honestly, if I had a daughter at 14 hanging out pretty much with ONLY guys all the time, I'd worry. Maybe not.. gang-rape worry, but still worry.
With tiiime, things'll work out =). If they don't, you have your mom, talk to her, get her to back you up! =).
2007-02-17 15:52:29 · answer #3 · answered by cyn1c4l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to your mother in private about the way you feel. No one should try to change you to be someone you aren't. If talking to your mother doesn't do anything try talking to him. If your mother doesn't realize that what your going through is just a phase then she is slacking on her part. She needs to tell himjust that it is a phase
Any parent would know that with a 14 year old girl you sometimes go through tomboy phases. I know I did and it was the best time of my adolecent years before you hit HS and everything changes.
Tell them your just having fun and them pushing you to be a certain way is not going to make you change any faster it's just going to make ot worse.
2007-02-17 15:14:14 · answer #4 · answered by ~Skittles~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u are the way u are cuz u have your mom in you maybe thas how u knew her to be i dunno but dont change yourself youre your own person dont let anyone take that from u if i was in your position id be rebellious and go out anyway if he has no respect for u and the friends u have then screw him dont show him any respect he's not your dad jus cuz he's married to your mom doesnt mean u have to listen to him if he puts his hands on u then u can do something about that i mean wat is gonna do? lock u in your room or make u wear dresses he cant if he doesnt like u the way u are and if he cant accept it then give him a hard time and eventually he leave u alone
2007-02-17 15:41:53 · answer #5 · answered by gata_lcn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It also wouldn't hurt dress like a woman sometimes would it?
I had all brothers and until I was 14 or 15 most of my friends were boys.( overly prissy girls and women still give me a big pain)
but that does not mean i wanted to dress like a guy or look like one
some girls actually wish they were guys ewwwwe!
that could be what hes afraid of.
You don't have to be a prissy idiot too knock them dead a great dress.
2007-02-17 15:21:23 · answer #6 · answered by FOA 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to just ignore him and continue doing what you want to do. and just because you are doing what you want doesn't mean it is a phase... this is who you are and you need to embrace it. also if he goes out of his way to be nasty you should just politely tell to bug off he isn't yoyour father even though he is married to ur mom... but be polite and use nicer terms. he has no right to criticize you
2007-02-17 15:37:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i am 13 and i am a tomboy and my step dad is great about it maybe it is because he was raised to be proper.and nice.so maybe tell him to go and try some of the stuff you do.
2007-02-17 15:37:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your mom
tell her how you feel about all of this
you should not have to change to conform to who HE wants you to be just because your mom married him
you have every right to be who you are and no one has any right to tell you there is something wrong with who you are
2007-02-17 22:08:57 · answer #9 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just keep being your self he cant change you and its not his bussness trying to change you theres nothing rong with you talk to your mom about it if she sopported you befor she proble still dose tell her how its making you fell
2007-02-21 00:59:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HUNGER STRIKE!!!lolz j/k jus tell ur mom and trust me...SHE CAN MAKE HIM ACCEPT IT!!!!i mean im a tomboy 2 i get down and dirty and 4-wheel and skateboard-my 360 homepage even says it!!!mail me wat happens!!!talk to him and her...if he still wont listen dont change....it doesnt matter wat he thinks...thats his problem...not urs...
2007-02-17 17:33:33 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋