does my mom have a right to do this to me???

Question

well I dont have a close relationship wit her. I am 19. and have about 9 piericngs.. 4 various cartilage piercings. lobe piercings and a navel piercing.. she doesnt liek any of them . i told her i wanted a tattoo the other day. and she told me no and to "go away cause our pissing me off"

ive always wanted to be close with her. but she has never seemed to liek me for who i am. she is "not letting me ge the tattoo till i move out"

what is the tattoo you may ask? well its very meaningful to me and i have already thought long and hard about it and am planning to draw out a few sketches shortly. the person i want to go to is booked till next year cause she does such realistic floaral tattoos. nothing liek ive ever seen b4.

anyways a red rose for my birth flower and a red rose is also my grandmas favortie flower. also a pansy since tis my moms favorite flower and a daisy for my brothers birth flower.

should i just get it? i mean im 19 old enough to make my own decisions.

im a good person.. i dont party, drink, smoke or anything. i have a good job and am about to get my AA degree

please do not tell me tattoos and piercings are gross.

i just dointi understand why she doesnt liek ME for ME???


ive already though long and hard about this tatttoo and im sure i wont regret it since it is so meaning ful.. but if i do for some reason then oh well..

i wish i could move out. but t hard when you have bills to pay food to buy, pay for tuition, textbooks and a car to pay off, and car insurance! with a job that pays 9 bucks an hour! i would find another job but most places arent as flexible as where i work to accomidate school.. i really wish i could move out! lolol

i wish i would also find a higher paying flexible job as well!

Answer 1

Try explaining to her that your all grown up and you are able to deal with things that come your way. Try explaining to her about the importance of this tattoo. Make her see it your may. If she still says you have to wait till you move out, wait if you want. Maybe she just isn't ready for you to grow up yet, but if you really want this get it, it is after all your life and your body.

Answer 2

Wow, that's alot of thinking you have done. I have an 18 year old daughter with a belly-button pierced. Doesn't really bother me, but I have also told her that is where we draw the line. Now, here is the flip side (as I am sure you have heard many times before). As long as you live under your Mother's roof, she has the right to tell you anything and as long as you stay there, you must abide by those rules. I am NOT by any means down-playing the tattoo (I have nothing against them in general, they simply are not for me), but stay in school, work and save up money, move out and then do what you want. But like I tell my own daughter: it's a cruel world out there. Maybe you should put off the tattoo untill your 21st birthday. Maybe make it like a milestone. As far as you and your Mom not getting along? Cannot help on that one other then suggest therapy or talking to a guidance counselor. I hardly think she doesn't like you though. You both (just like my daughter and I) are going through some rough spots. I promise they will even out. Hope this helped.

Answer 3

Hun, maybe your mom just doesn't like the piercings and the idea of a tattoo. Not everyone finds beauty in it. Even though you have the right to express yourself, you still have to take a step back and see how if effects the people around you. I realize you are a good kid, but, your mom is from a different generation and maybe doesn't approve of what you are doing with your body. I realize that to you it is probably a form of art and a way to be individualized. There's nothing wrong with wanting that. But, you still live with mom, and if she doesn't like it, then, well, just try to see where she's coming from. It sounds as if your relationship is strained anyway. I would wait for the tattoo until you are out of her house. Her house, her rules. You know the drill.....Good Luck

Answer 4

I understand. The tattoo is for you and I can tell it means a lot to you. Honestly I couldn't tell you why parents care about what you do with your own body. Like you said, its not like your drinking or smoking, its just a harmless tattoo that means a lot to you. Your 19 and you have the right to get one so I say get it. But also, I don't know your mother or how she'd react. If you think she'd kick you out then maybe I'd listen to her and hold off. My sister is 23 and left our house because she was frustrated with my parents treating her like a child. Now she is struggling to pay rent and bills and she works two jobs and barely has any food at her apartment. So if the whole tattoo thing would make your mom angry enough to kick you out, I'd say just hold off and wait.

Answer 5

Does she have the right?????? legally... no

But you have to understand.. she's a MOM!!!!!

I went through this with my son.. no piercings, but tattoos. after he got out of college he went into the Marines.. the first thing he did was get a tattoo...Globe, Eagle, Anchor, (USMC symbol), came home on leave and I cried.

He didn't get it. I spent years keeping his body safe,,, then he goes and hurts himself ON PURPOSE!!!!!!!

he now has 6, I hate every one of them, but I love him, So I just ask that he keep a shirt on so I don't see them.

Give your mom a beak.. Hold off until you get your own place. If your mind is made up to et it, then waiting a while is not going to change your mind, and it could help heal the relationship with your mom.

You might want to be the one to open communication with her by trying to explain to her about the piercings.. It sounds to me that you are a good person, no drugs, no drinking, etc... you just chose this as a way to express yourself. She should be dancing in the streets that this is what you chose over the other alternatives.

Answer 6

Ok first off HUD or Public Housing I know that sounds horrible but it gives you a chance at independence. Some parents just don't get along with their kids. You are over 18 and responsible for your own actions. If you want a tattoo get it. If you want to get 8 more piercings go for it.

Answer 7

How can a mother get close to a daughter that keeps doing things to upset her. If she has stated that a tattoo is not acceptable then respect her rules, you live in her house. Sentimental or not your mother will see the tattoo as another defiance and lack of respect to her. Be smart and wait until your out on your own.

Answer 8

I understand trying to be held back from something you want. It's not an easy thing to be. I would suggest that you get with some of your friends and see if they would like to go halves or something on an apartment. Also, tell your mom you would like to go to lunch and talk about your differences. Start from the bottom up and try to work your relationship up. I wish you and your mother the best of luck.

Answer 9

So wait and get the tattoo when you move out or move out now if you cant stand the wait.
Its just a tattoo, I dont see what the rush is.
Your mom doesnt have to like your choices(piercing/tattoo) and frankly if I was her I wouldnt be pleased either. She probably thinks you do it just to annoy her.

Answer 10

If you gonna get the tatoo you have to b ready for the action your mom will take which as i read it you will have to leave the house --so if your gonna do it make sure your ready for the outcome. otherwise just respect her wishes until you get in a better situation ----my experience with life has taught me that if i show respect i also gain it -- in time your mom will realize your getting older and want to do things others are doing -- on a personal note my oldest son who is 26 has many tatoos and i think they r awesome