If it doesn't, please tell me the truth, rate it from 1-10 & tell me what you did not like about it and how I should change it.
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My love for you is as delicate and beautiful as a rose.
It is as deep as the deepest waters.
It is like an evergreen bush, it never dies nor fades.
It is ever lasting
2007-02-17 14:26:22 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
THE SECOND AND THIRD LINES ARE BUGGIN ME. A LITTLE. DON'T GET ME WRONG I LOVE POETRY AND YOU SEEM TO HAVE A GREAT MUSE.
MY LOVE FOR YOU
IS AS DELICATE AS AN ORCHID
HAS THE BEAUTY OF A ROSE
RUNS AS DEEP AS THE OCEAN FLOOR
WILL NEVER FADE
WILL NEVER DIE
IS EVERLASTING.
2007-02-17 14:49:13 · answer #1 · answered by SWEET SARAH 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5
2007-02-17 22:28:46 · answer #2 · answered by fade_this_rally 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it is like an 8 because it is deep but kind of sounds generic, like a greeting card, but still heartfelt, i would change the part about the evergreen bush to something like a flame or something like that, good luck
2007-02-17 22:29:18 · answer #3 · answered by Jess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm...the evergreen bush doesn't sound as smooth, but that could be fixed. Otherwise, try to be more consistent, and maybe add a little parallelism
2007-02-17 22:31:20 · answer #4 · answered by Captain Oblivious 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just leave out bush. Otherwise great.7
2007-02-17 22:35:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 - It has no meter or even real subject matter. It is merely a string of tired metaphors. Be creative and speak from your own mind. Don't give up, keep writing and it will come.
2007-02-17 22:30:36 · answer #6 · answered by ahab 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it(7) but I would take out "and beautiful" from the first line and "like" out of the third sentence. It would flow better.
2007-02-17 22:36:01 · answer #7 · answered by Just me near dc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it a lot. I'd give it a 9/10. Way better than my stuff
2007-02-18 14:29:03 · answer #8 · answered by Shelb-N-Ator [[H!ATD]] 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think everlasting is one word. Other than that, I L-O-V-E it!
especially the end
"It is everlasting"
I find it soo .... undescribeable, but beautiful!!
I find it like something I'd want for my special day.
You made my day!!
=D
It's off the charts!
2007-02-17 22:30:19 · answer #9 · answered by LadyDragonRider 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's OK but the last line is untrue. It should be something like, "My love is with you wherever you go."
2007-02-17 22:33:07 · answer #10 · answered by Sophist 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋