I think my friend takes advantage of me?

Question

My friend is a very nice person but sometimes it seems like she is very selfish. She is always asking me to do things for her and she knows I don't have a job and she knows my schedule so I don't have excuses to say no to her. Her husband left for a month (out of town) she expected me to take her to and from work store babysitter etc. the whole month! She asked me the day after her husband left! She knew I would do it because she says "I'm a good friend and she says she can always count on me". She can't drive due to poor eye sight she had me up @ 5am driving her to work I stay up after that to get my kids off to school I swear I didn't sleep the whole month. She also never gave me a dime for gas..Tonite She asked me to babysit both their kids for a few hrs they've been gone for 4 hrs and she just called to say it'd be another hr!! I am done w/ so called "helping them" . I refuse to yell @ her bcuz I agreed to do everything she asked but how do I stop this nonsense, politely?

Please keep in mind that she does do thigns for me as well and she really does need someone to do thigns for her often. It just sucks bcuz I seem to be the only person available or able most of the time. She does appreciate it when I do things but shes always broke and always needs rides and child care I just think she needs to find other ways to get help instead of always asking me. My question was how do I say No politely?

Answer 1

wow...that sounds familliar on so many levels. I have a friend who is just like that (email me if you want the details) I finally had to explain to them that yes, we do eachother favors, but i am my first priority. It isn't my job to get you to and from the store, its not my jb to get you stuff that you cant get on your own. It's not my job to sacrifice everything i have to be there fr you hand and foot. Explain to her that yes, you said that you would be there for her and all, but noow she is crossing the line. Everyone needs their own time, and it isnt fair that she's invading yours.
I know this sounds stupid, but here is a way to show her exactly what its likle doing all of this stuff:
Explain to her about personal space. Everybody has their own "bubble of space" and since Pre-K, it has been taught that we should stay out of other people's bubbles, because we wouldnt want them invading ours. Scoot really close to her and lean all over her and tell her "This is what you're doing to me and my personal time and space." She's consuming all of your time, andn you and your family are your tp priority, not her and hers.
I hope you have great luck with this. I finally sat my friend down, and h eased up on me. It took a bit for me to actually do it, butit made me fele a lot better than having me scuttle after him to avoid hrting any feelings.+

Answer 2

Yes you are being used as you agreed to let it happen, So why are you complaining, You have to tell her that she needs to learn to get by on her own as there will come a time when you will have to say no and she will be up set. It is nice to be a friend but this is pushing the envelope. Just because you have a bit of spare time doesn't entitle her to book you to run her around. There is not going to be any simple way out of this unless you find another thing to occupy your time that she now uses to her advantage. So perhaps look at volunteer work that will give you the excuse that you do not have at the present

Answer 3

I know you still wanted to be friends with her, but i feel that she is taking advantage of you and you should let her know that you do not want to drive her to and from work everyday and babysit her kids. Even if she is your best friend, i feel that she have no right to make you to do everything for her. If you want to end this, get a job.

Answer 4

You seem like a good friend but sometimes you need to say "no." Tell her that you feel like she's taking advantage of you and she needs to realize that. If she doesn't, she's not a friend.

Answer 5

umm if you don't stand up for yourself who will? right, nobody...so since you are wondering, yes, you are being taken advantage of....you're pathetic.