Marriage Problems?

Question

My hubby is well..... Lame. He refuses to help with anything around the house especially if it is something that requires heavy lifting, he says that i should be able to do it myself.
I want to leave him but he says he will take the kids if i leave and my father did that to me when i was young(took me from my mother) and never let me see her.
My hubby gets mad when things don't go his way and then blames the person(s) instead of himself. He has been unable to hold down a job, his longest job in the last 3yrs was 4 months.
I'm not sure what to do, i love him but i hate his empty threats and personally think he should see a shrink and that we both should see a marriage counsellor but he is unwilling.
What should i do???

I don't have a job outside my home, because everytime i try to apply he takes a job working for a temp company for a week, thats why i had to go on government assisstance.

Answer 1

He is just using the kids to keep you around. Hes scared you will leave him so this is his way of controlling and keeping you. Also its never your fault when things don't go right with his jobs and everyday life. Yes he needs counseling but they have to want to go. Tell him to plz help you around the house and contribute to the marriage of get out you don't need a life like this. And I think the way his record is you will definately have your kids.

Answer 2

Your husband don't want a wife he wants you to do all the work. While he set on his butt. Don't let him tell you if you leave him he will take the kidds. You didn't say if you work out side of the home if you do I would go an talk to a lawyer. I was married for 18 1/2 years to a man that only work when he wanted to did what he wanted to would not go around my family unless they were gaveing him something. He would say if you ever try to divorce me am going to do this an that. Well I could not take it any more being an this marriage was makeing me sick I new I had to do some thing Now I love him with all my heart but it was not a marriage an I had to get out. we got a house together a 30 year loan. Well I got the house an guess what I pay it off in 14 years. I know he through I would loss it. Now my ex leave with his sister an the house that they leave in is his mom & dad an when her kid get out of school they are suspose to sell it an other brother an sisters are to get there part he want work so he will never be able to buy a place an he is getting on up an age what woman would be close to his age bw willing to get out there an work her butt off for some one like that. Sorry this was long but really I would go an talk to a lawyer. Don't let this guy make you sick like my ex did to me. good luck.

Answer 3

I THINK U KNOW WHAT 2 DO UR JUST NOT READY TO DO IT YET. BUT SOON U WILL B. LOOK YES HE CAN TAKE THE KIDS, BUT U CAN ALSO. IF THERE IS NO CUSTODY THEN THE LAW CANT DO ANY THING ABOUT IT. BUT IF U GO FILE A RESTRAINING ORDER THAT GIVE U CUSTODY UNTIL THE COURT DATE. AND THEN FROM THERE THE JUDGE WILL HEAR UR GUYS SIDE. LIFE IS HARD EVEN MORE WHEN U HAVE KIDS. SO WHY MAKE IT HARDER WITH A MAN THAT DON'T REALLY WANTS TO HELP U. I KNOW I WENT THREW IT FOR SIX YEAR WITH MY HUSBAND. AND YES I MISS HIM VERY MUCH AT TIME. I BELIEVE ME AND MY KIDS ARE BETTER OFF. I DO EVERY THING MY SELF SO NOT MUCH HAS CHANGE. YES IT WILL BE HARD AND YES IT WILL HURT LIKE HELL BUT. U NEED TO PUT UR SELF FIRST THEN THINK ABOUT THE KIDS. GOOD LUCK

Answer 4

Well, I hope you have a viable way to make a living....

either way, your husband really DOES sound lame...nice terminology for loser.
Boy, I thought I had it bad.

Don't worry, the courts ALWAYS give custody to the mother, except if you have a drug or alcohol problem or psychiatric problem, you will definately get the kids.

I think you should be making plans for your escape, talk to a lawyer, get a job if you don't already have one, or start by getting an education and a career while making plans to leave.

Start now planning your escape and hopefully you will have a smooth transition and a happy future.

good luck.

Answer 5

Every problem is a problem of the HEART. God instituted the home and has given a manual to follow, but like most we don't' go the manual until is we have done everything else first..
Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."
Read Ephesians 6:22-33 for starters. Then check out I Peter 3:1-6.
I will be praying for you and your family.

Answer 6

How is he going to take the kids from you, when he can't even hold down a job? Find a family member or friend to go stay with and divorce that clown. Or you could put him out. Is he paying any bills? He treating you that way because your letting him. I bet if you called his bluff and left, see how fast he'd be willing to take the kids. You do have rights you know.

Answer 7

He is a jerk. He is being like my parents. He is holding something over your head to prevent you from doing what you want. I think you should talk to a lawyer, and find our your rights for keeping the kids. If he doesn't have a job, I can't imagine he could keep the kids. He sounds like a loser to me. If you don't have any feelings for him anymore, then I would find out your rights for child custody, and divorce him.

Answer 8

I think he's past the point of counseling. He sounds like a bully. I would talk to a lawyer before doing anything further.

Answer 9

It sounds like he is not a good guy. If he doesn't go to a counsel er with you I would go see a lawer and check our your options. Read the book called "The Secret". Good luck.

Answer 10

He sounds like a bully as for custody if you are a good mother the courts will award you custody. Dump the bully and fight like hell for your children.