10 year marridge,wife left with no signs other than a letter saying she wasnt happy.since which she has moved into a refuge for abused woman falsly claiming she has been in abusive relationship.iam in complete shock because its a untrue claim and so far from the truth.after a 10 year relationship i thought i knew her but obviously not aswell as i thought. and iam concerned about what her plans are and how to to prepare myself,(what rubbish is she going to say next). I wasnt expecting this and iam looking for advice on how to protect myself on any possilbilities that can arise from her allegations and the effect it can have on any events that i may have to deal with in the future regarding the the children and the mortgage.
2007-02-17 13:46:22 · 8 answers · asked by HNU0 U 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I always like it when somebody says "with no signs". I'm not being uneccessarily critical here either (and I've done and said the same thing).
There had to be red-flags all over the place. You just weren't that interested, but now that she has left, that makes you very interested, huh?
Your job now is to leave her alone.
2007-02-17 14:29:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If what she is claiming is a lie, it should be easy enough for you to prove. My son is dealing with a similar situation as we speak! How ironic is that? Anyway, he is anything but abusive, yet his soon to be, "X-wife", go in and has a "restraining order" against him, claiming he was abusive to her and the baby!!! An absolute fabrication, no truth in it! Well, she made the mistake of saying all of this happened between her and my son during the month of Oct. last year. HA! Wait till she finds out this coming Tues. that he has proof from the courts that he was incarcerated during the month of Oct.!!!!!! Then she will look like the liar she is, right in front of the Judge!! My son will most likely get full custody of his baby girl then, I'm sure.
Now, the reason I went through all of that is so you can see what it is I'm talking about. See, if you haven't abused her and she is claiming you do, there has to be a way to prove it. Do any of your mutual friends know it to be a lie? Is there any proof that she is the abuser in the house? Does she have a boyfriend maybe, and thats why she wants out? I would look hard and heavy into this sudden burst of crazy behavior. You say she came out of the blue with this. There is always signs that something like this is coming. We just aren't looking for it, thats why it takes us by surprise. THINK! Close your eyes and just go over the last month or two in your head. Day, by day. If you really concentrate you'll remember something not being as it normally is. Anyway, good luck with your situation, do like I told you! Your friend on line, Terry
2007-02-18 01:24:21 · answer #2 · answered by Terry Ranaye 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Common sense would tell anyone that if you have lived with someone for 10 years and you did not have any hint of this coming on, your marriage was in trouble long before this! By living with someone for 10 years, you should pretty much be-able to read each other pretty darn good. I think you would of known if your wife was unhappy. I feel their is a lot missing from your story. I don't mean to sound negative, but.. You seem to pretty much be sure claims of "assault" have been made? Or bad talking, why? Why, did she go to a shelter instead of a hotel or friends? Do you keep all money away from your wife and kids? Why worry so much about your mortgage? If she were divorcing you, she will get her share anyway. I think we all need to hear both sides to this story!
2007-02-18 02:12:00 · answer #3 · answered by sue d 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow after 10 years of marriage she just up and leaves and claims abuse. This is very drastic on her part. I would think the only reason she is doing this is maybe someone told her that if she claimed something like this and if she left you and stayed in an abuse shelter the courts would take pity on her for protecting the children. She sounds like she is cooking up something so I would get prepared for what is coming. You need to get a lawyer and start getting neighbors, friends, relatives (yours and hers), coworker..anyone to vouch for your marriage within the last 10 years. Have these people make written statements..just in case they turn on you later. Safeguard yourself here!
2007-02-17 22:39:47 · answer #4 · answered by Maybe I am a smartass..so what 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds a bit drastic - if there is no truth in it, as these refuge places are usually complete dumps, I can't imagine why she'd want to live there voluntarliy. Only thing you can do is make it clear to her and her solicitor you will talk things through. Probably not much more you can do really. Perhaps she is having a crisis of some sort and will need your support.
2007-02-17 22:01:03 · answer #5 · answered by rose_merrick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need a lawyer.
2007-02-17 22:04:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if what you say is true get your self a lawyer so she won't get custody of your kids and cause you to lose everything and hopefully you'll be given custody
2007-02-21 21:05:29 · answer #7 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
could be after the house ?
do you love your children ?
do they love you ?
what matters
2007-02-18 13:35:58 · answer #8 · answered by every1loves1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋