I am in a relationship have never cheated but I am feeling something for someone else. this person does not have a good marriage and everytime I get a whiff of a bit of trouble in their marriage It excites me and I want to try to weasel in with him. I know this is terrible but I have never felt this way about anyone. What am i agoing to do? This has been going on for months.
2007-02-17 12:30:06 · 19 answers · asked by kd 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to back off with the married man whether or not if it's a good or bad marriage, you don't need to get yourself involved.
2007-02-17 12:35:55 · answer #1 · answered by Lila 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have a mild 'savior' complex. You're stimulated by the thought of being able to come to the rescue and sweep the troubled away in a cloud of bliss. It's accentuated by the fact that the object of your salvation is male. This environment is new for you so you feel as if you just discovered a side of yourself that you didn't know that you had. Your own relationship does not provide this stimulus so you find it strangely compelling.
It's a form of a crush. You should resist the temptations that go along with it. If you succumb, you might not ruin your life, but you could easily ruin at least two others.
You may find that there will be other situations like this in your life. But, I'm sure that you are intelligent enough to know that bouncing around from one bad marriage to another is not going to produce anything truly positive and/or lastingly rewarding.
You need to substitute another activity or activities that will parallel this turn-on for you, but be channeled in a positive way. What other "good-deed" type of opportunities are within your reach? Where else in your life can you provide real help without prurient interests?
The mature adult eventually knows how to cope with this. Consider yourself ready to be one.
2007-02-17 12:44:17 · answer #2 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you are prepared to deal with the worst case scenarios that come with cheating (possible stds, exposure to your boyfriend, unplanned pregnancy and a vengeful, psychotic spouse), I really think you should back off.
Additionally, the person you're involved with didn't sign up for this drama. If you're going to be stupid enough to pursue this, then end the relationship you're in first. It's bad enough you're going to end a good situation over something so stupid, the very least you can do is get them out of the path of your upcoming drama.
It's not worth it, and will not turn out positively. Get a hold of yourself and avoid this situation at whatever cost.
2007-02-17 12:37:56 · answer #3 · answered by Prairie Princess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure it's every girls DREAM to grow up to be the other woman and responsible for destroying somebody's marriage and family. By all means go for it! Morals, values, and common sense mean absolutely nothing these days so do whatever makes you happy at the time. Who cares what happens tomorrow, next week, or in a few months from now! As long as you're having fun and satisfying your needs right now, right???
2007-02-17 12:35:02 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anyone can go out and have an affair. That's not hard. The hard part is deciding not to do it. That's the adult, mature thing to do. We're not babies; we won't expire if our desires aren't instantly granted. Most people have no patience for women who go after men whose marriages are difficult, and with good reason. Such women are appropriately labelled. Recognise your desire for what it is - a want, not a need - and avoid this man if you have difficulty acting your age.
Good luck.
2007-02-17 14:15:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your obviously not in love with your partner now. You are looking for a way out. My advice is to end your relationship Don't hold on to it until you find something better. It is not fair to waste your partners time or love on someone who is not committed to them, If this other person becomes available and is interested in you as well, then go have a happy life together. We all deserve happiness, don't lead your partner on any longer.
2007-02-17 12:40:17 · answer #6 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are in a relationship and have never cheated, then I would keep it that way. You'll only be asking for trouble; going after someone else.
2007-02-17 12:33:25 · answer #7 · answered by Nancy D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stay away from this person, and then look at what's going on in your marriage that is making you look outside of it. It's a good thing you are recognizing what's going on before anything happens.
2007-02-17 12:33:03 · answer #8 · answered by Melissa 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dont cheat on your partner and dont weasel in on his relationship either. End ur relationship, and when he gets divorced, try a relationship with him.
Good luck
2007-02-17 12:34:15 · answer #9 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF YOU WERE MARRIED WOULD YOU WANT SOMEONE ELSE TO RUIN YOUR MARRIAGE? THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WILL DO IF YOU GO FORTH WITH THIS.
YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP THAT YOU ARE IN BECAUSE CLEARLY YOU DO NOT LOVE THIS PERSON IF YOUR ARE WILLING TO TAKE A RISK AND CHANCE HURTING THEM
2007-02-17 12:33:36 · answer #10 · answered by FRECKLES 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋