2007-02-17 12:17:24 · 30 answers · asked by magicfan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not only did my fiancee found one I had made and didn't know what it was and popped it in the VCR and saw what it was. He forgave me, made me own up to the way I used to live, and accepted the fact that I had changed alot since then. We have been married for 8 months now and since then I have never heard anything about it. You have to accept that people do things like that never really thinking it is going to hang around and haunt them. You need to express your feelings, but also forgive and forget. the life that your fiancee used to live and the life that they are going to have with you are 2 different things.
2007-02-17 12:23:57 · answer #1 · answered by t2ensie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes you definitely should. Despite what anyone tells you sex is an important and natural part of a relationship. Like anything else it should be learned and practiced with your partner BEFORE marriage. So many marriages end in failure because people don't practice living together and/or in your case being intimate with each other. How can you say you want to spend the rest of your life with someone when you don't know them intimately? It just doesn't make sense to me. It is good that you don't take sex lightly and I assume you don't sleep around. But, believe me when I say it is an important part of a long term relationship.
2016-05-24 00:00:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you won't ever get it out of your head, so you have to decide if you can live with a person that made a sex video at one time in his/her life. That might take a while to determine, of course, so don't do anything rash.
But, be honest with yourself and your fiance. Maybe the wedding should be put on hold while you sort things out in your head.
Remember that most people have had sex prior to marriage - they just didn't video it. It appears that the preservation of the moment is at the center of your concern. Can it be destroyed as part of a way to cope with the problem? I'd recommend that, at the least.
2007-02-17 13:10:54 · answer #3 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, until you can resolve this in your head, dont get married. Pure and simple. If you can not handle it for the rest of your life, then dont get married. As long as he loves you now, and you get rid of the tape and never see it again (both of you...etc) then you should be able to move on. If he wants to keep it, then maybe you have other issues to work out. The idea alone of your spiuse being with someone is tough enough, never the less having it on a video and seeing it. You are not wrong for feeling the way you do. Discuss this and resolve it before the wedding. Good luck.
2007-02-17 12:21:44 · answer #4 · answered by C. A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did she tell you this? Because if you found out from another source, that means she intended to cover it up and hope you never found out. You do need to ask what else there might be out there for you to find out about. Ask her about it, let her explain this to you, what happened and why it happened and see what she says.
Getting it out of your head is not possible, though. My wife had an affair ten years ago, and the thought of her having sex with this guy can be haunting. A thought that helped me a little: If you can turn the event around and enjoy the erotic nature of what happened, the experience will then be yours, too.
2007-02-17 13:18:14 · answer #5 · answered by Paul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feel real bold ??? Make your own sex video with your fiancee, once you done this and viewed your final production, this will be the only image you will have in your head. Also, I would suggest that you make an agreement with your fiancee that there will only be one copy and you will destroy the video together if you should break up !!
2007-02-17 12:25:24 · answer #6 · answered by gemini6187 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sit down with ur fiancee and watch the tape together thats the only way u and her can get it out of u all head dont end ur relationship over her past everyone has a dark side and she loves u enough to tell u because i have delt with a lot of cases where marriages were broken because the past were keepin hidden
2007-02-17 12:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume this was before you two were together. There really isn't anything you can do about it. Move on. Or, ask to make one of your own with your soon to be husband( or wife, seems no one who answered knows if you're the soon to be wife or husband).
Everyone has a past. You really can't be held accountable to someone for those things. It can't be taken back, so best just to get past it.
2007-02-17 12:21:20 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to be cruel, but i don't see what the big deal is. I mean, lots and lots of people make homemade sex videos these days. Surely, you did not think your girlfriend was a virgin did you. Just mark it down as part of her past and concentrate on the present, which should be your life with her now, not what she did in the past. I wish you well.
2007-02-17 12:32:09 · answer #9 · answered by alanpvr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I can appreciate a woman with a naughty side. Maybe the two of you could make your own video. This time your the costar.
2007-02-17 15:04:26 · answer #10 · answered by Heath R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋