Background.... My wife left me after 6 years, because we were not happy, and she needed to go "find herself". We have two children 1 and 4. She moved in with her mom. After a being seperated we are trying to have a relationship again, without moving in together.
MIA said "what is the point of being seperated", if you spend all your free time together. She refuses to let me sleep at her house, she has negative reaction every time we act like, more than freinds. She uses babysitting the children as tool control the time spent together.
My wife tries to tell the MIA the way we(wife and I) feel towards each other and the situation. She will not accept it, and we are not ready to move in together. How do we try to begin a relationship, if she refuses to accept it? My wife is caught in the middle and she is seeking counselling in regaurds to her mom and the seperation.
Is there anything I can do, besides support my wife and respect her mom, although it is onesided
2007-02-17 12:16:37 · 9 answers · asked by Mac 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
nope, not really, it's mostly in your wife's hands, she needs to set the boundaries....keep being polite and respectful, it better for your children....be patient and hopefully wife will figure it out thru the counseling.
2007-02-17 12:23:32 · answer #1 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your wife and want to be together in the future then support her. Try like hell to get along with the ole lady and maybe seek another place for your wife and children to go live. Maybe a small apt. Does she really need her mom's home. Maybe you should try moving in together and just have seperate bedrooms for a while. Probably won't last long and end up in one bedroom anyway. Especially if your both in love. A good marriage takes trust, love and hard work. If you really love someone you will not hurt them. Talk about this with your wife and maybe sit in one of her counsel sessions. Good luck
2007-02-17 20:25:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her mom is being selfish and wants your wife to be dependent on her. This is very odd behavior for a mother she must be very insecure. You should have a talk with your wife and tell her that you want to make it work but she is going to have to call off her mother. Perhaps she told her mother some really bad stuff about you and now her mom is trying to protect her daughter from you. You can even have a talk with her mother and let her know that your intentions are all good. Bottom line it is up to your wife to set her mother straight.
2007-02-17 20:37:45 · answer #3 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife needs to either get a small apartment or move in with friends until y'all decide what you will do with the relationship. Your mother-in-law needs to understand that your wife and you are ADULTS, not children under her control. You are not married to the mother-in-law, only her daughter. Whether y'all can work things out or not is between the two of you, not the three of you. The stress of your mother-in-law butting into your business might ultimately cause you to not be able to work things out. Your wife needs to get out of there so you at least have a fighting chance.
2007-02-17 20:29:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Mother in Law is a problem, because your wife lets her have a say in her life. Your wife left you to go find herself, and now she wants a "dating" relationship with you. You should not go near her, until she grows up and wants to come home. You shouldn't be treated like one of her little boyfriends, You are her husband and father to her kids. You are helping her stay gone.
2007-02-17 20:47:05 · answer #5 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, not really. But in my opinion, you wife is gonna have to make a choice as you can't be married to her with the mother-in-law interferring like that. If you and your wife truly want to get back together, then you're gonna have to decide to do it. If mother-in-law threatens, then just let her threaten. It's really none of her business anyway. Best of luck to you.
2007-02-17 20:26:11 · answer #6 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother in law has the right to decide WHO sleeps in HER home whether YOU like it or not. Since it is HER home she doesn't have to accept anything. Your wife CHOOSES to be in the middle, she isn't CAUGHT in the middle. If she didn't want to be under the rules of HER MOTHER'S home then she shouldn't have moved in with her mother.
2007-02-17 20:31:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
man since the beginning of time it seems,mother in laws always try and control their daughters marriage.daughter needs to stop telling mom whats going on with your relationship's,it maybe that her daughters telling her alot of stuff to make mom dislike you.find some place private for you and your wife to go.
2007-02-17 20:34:20 · answer #8 · answered by walker4907 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is your wifes problem and you can't fix it for her. you two seem to be playing it smart. you must have known the road to a stronger relationship would be difficult. here it is. stay true to your relationship and let your wife deal with her mother. good luck!!!
2007-02-17 20:47:45 · answer #9 · answered by shar71vette 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋