I don't really mind him going online and chatting but last night he was chatting with some women. I looked at what they were talking about and it wasn't anything that I should worry about but I'm just bothered by it. Another thing, he is also ok about me even meeting other men. Like for chatting, and even going out with them. Is he getting crazy or am I getting paranoid?? If this is going to continue I feel like our marriage is going down the drain.
2007-02-17 12:06:05 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Idle chat leads to intimate chat which leads to encounters.
Trust me, i know from experience.
If he is giving u the ok to meet other men, its like giving him a pass to meet other women.
Afterall, u cant tell him he cant, since he is ok with u doing it. Right?
I think ur in trouble here. U guys need to talk and get some things straight.
GOod luck
2007-02-17 12:20:54 · answer #1 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether your marriage goes down the drain or not is dependent upon your tolerance and/or your affinity for a separate fantasy life. It would appear that your husband is having the time of his life splitting his reality between you and his online world. Seems like he has no problem with you getting a similar "hobby", in fact, he is encouraging it.
Could all of this be a relationship-buster? Probably, especially if you are feeling paranoid about it. Time to sit down and have a real heart-to-heart with the hubby to find out if this recent life direction is just a fling or a sign of a continuing spiral away from you, his family, and reality.
2007-02-17 21:04:28 · answer #2 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The online world is basically a free flowing thrill ride that your husband is slowly becoming addicted to. I have some experience with this, because when I first found the internet and began exploring, I found myself doing and saying all kinds of things thinking it was goofy anonymous fun. But it isn't, over time it becomes addicting, even changing the way you think about things. Your hubby is allowing his fantasy computer life to intrude into your real life. Do you really want a marriage in which your loyalties are going to be split between your hubby and various cyber-men? Do you want to be married to a man who invests so much of his time and energy this way? When his head hits the pillow at night, does he think about you or about the next time he can leap on the computer and play away? Good luck.
2007-02-17 22:00:20 · answer #3 · answered by Paul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not hiding it from you, and is willing to lat you look at what he's talking about, then he's probably not doing anything wrong. My husband chats all the time with women online, and has never had an affair on me, so I don't let it bother me. I think you're a little jealous. Now if you see the conversation turns sexual, or he begins to chat in secret, then that is a different story. I'd be worried then.
2007-02-17 20:13:00 · answer #4 · answered by Miami Lilly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hear about this stuff all the time. Things start out innocent, but then event ally it starts to get personal. And once someones feelings to get to involved, it's hard to turn those feelings off. I know you have to trust your husband because "he' honest with you, right" well, that's how marriages start to break apart, because of the " freedom & trust" marriages have. I would talk to him about this. You should have some concerns. Be paranoid, because, this is your marriage that could be at stake if he starts to fall for someone. I think when you start cahtting with opposite sexes, then your taking that trust to a whole different level .Communicate your feelings to him, if he loves you, he'll put your feelings before his chatting!
2007-02-17 20:31:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I wouldn't worry about this.........as long as it's just normal conversation. I have many friends that I chat online with, and they all know I'm happily married. Best of luck to you.
2007-02-17 20:17:01 · answer #6 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically speaking this is borderline disloyal. Once the conversations get personal it is disloyal.
2007-02-17 20:12:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋