She is sooo saucy and rude to me and her father. I find it hard to punish her because she is a great student, lots of friends, etc. She also still throws temper tantrums at home where she will holler that she hates us. Is it hormones??
2007-02-17 11:17:41 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Thank you all so much for the wonderfully helpful answers that have really put things in perspective! I will be taking your great suggestions and comments to heart...thanks again!
2007-02-17 11:31:29 · update #1
um.... no
it's time for you to take control. Forget that she's a "good kid" most of the time. You can use that to explain to her that while you really appreciate her good grades and acceptable behaviour to others, you are puzzled by her disrespect for you and dad.
She is old enough now to understand consequences. Tell her that if she can demonstrate to you that she is acting respectfully and appropriately in your home for the next week or so - you will continue to support her allowance / cel phone/ movies / club / tv or whatever her "currency" is.... if she does not demonstrate that she can act respectfully, then take something away - period.
She will soon learn that extravagances have to be earned, and mature behaviour is far more profitable than disrespect.
Trust me mom.... giving in to her tantrums is far more damaging to her than it is to you - time to get moving!
Blessings.
2007-02-17 11:26:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometime you really have to use some deep emotionally child psychology on kids that young. Her actions is very sad and you should approach this matter on how your heart feels. When she say that she hates you, break down and cry.
Run to your room and fall on the bed and cry. Have her father follow and try to comfort you. Do not yell or correct her after you do this, because that is what she expects you to do. Instead, ignore her until she comes to you on her own free will. If she apologize, accept it, but it is not over yet!
Ask your daughter if she going to continue to make you cry? and If she going make you sad? Entering in details on can you improve your relationship with her. Make out a contract stating how she going to always respect you and her dad. Have her to sign it, make a copy, and attach it in her bedroom wall, and you do the same.
Take her out for some ice cream, and as she is eating continue to praise her on the contact she had signed. When a person (yes a 9 year old to) is rude and saucy, sometime feed it with rough discipline by actions or/and words.They are another way of rudeness. Therefore you are not reaching the person. In fact you are adding fuel to the fire.
At meals times, read the Bible and pray as family. Before she goes to bed knee beside her and teach her pray etc...
Buy her a Bible that's written for kids.
God Bless.
2007-02-17 11:45:19 · answer #2 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't owe her anything. Yes, be proud of the fact that she's a good student and socially rounded, but you can NOT just allow these things to give her a free pass to be rude to you.
She will continue to be rude and saucy as long as you continue to allow it. You are her parent, you are in charge. Don't let her forget that. Next time she mouths off, PUNISH HER. Take privileges, restrict friends, etc. And don't threaten without following through. I cannot emphasize this enough. You say you're going to do something, DO IT. Otherwise, you are reinforcing the idea in her head that she owes you no respect and that there are no consequences for her actions.
2007-02-17 11:25:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not hormones. You (her parents) has allowed her to get away with this type of behavior so of course she is. Please watch nanny 911, buy the book or call her to come to your home. And please don't think I am being funny because I'm not. And I don't think you are bad parents. You just need some help getting your daughter back in control. It can be done there is hope. But you must take control now and not allow your daughter to treat you and her father any kind of way. And you have to be willings to discipline her. It is your job so do it! So what she's a good student. She's suppose to be. I wish you all the very best of luck!
2007-02-17 11:24:01 · answer #4 · answered by my_first_love_85 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's just growing up. She probably doesn't mean that. I used to be like that when I was a kid.. I never ment it. I would just get mad with my parents and say that to make them mad. You should talk to her and tell her she is TOO OLD to be throwing a temper tantrum.
She is growing into a young lady and she doesn't need to be acting like this. I say you punish her anyway. If you don't tell her it is wrong to act like this (tantrum, disrespectful behavior), she'll still do it. Good luck!
2007-02-17 11:21:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well i might not be a counselor but if she is good outside punish her by not letting her out and tell her ehy! she is way to young for her to yell at you so you control her before she controls you!! and also keep in mind take things away that she loves so she respects you and for the things that she has and if she throws a tantrum put her in her room until she can ontrol herslf!!
2007-02-17 12:27:38 · answer #6 · answered by hopein 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hormones could be part of it. I hate to say this, but she could just be acting out at you, her parents. She's just saying that she hates you, she may not really mean it. I did the same thing when I was younger. She'll grow out of it in a year or two. I sure did.
2007-02-17 11:25:33 · answer #7 · answered by Sam U. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mature Mum myself I would keep those boundaries set and make her aware that you are her Ma and Pa so if the boundaries get crossed there are consequences to be paid for. i would also sit down quietly with her and say how much her screaming matches hurt you and if they continue there will be consequences. Get tough now or live to regret you didnt.
2007-02-17 11:33:27 · answer #8 · answered by deep in thought 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you hit the nail right on the head when you said: "I find it hard to punish her" Now she is spoiled and you are embarrased and miserable. Don't let a nine year old run your house!
Put her in her place. DO IT now, before it's too late.
2007-02-17 11:22:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is probably just her reaching puberty. some girls start to become rebellious during this stage. the best thing for you to do is to have strict guidlines for her to follow and makes sure she knows no to direspect you or the father. if you do not correct this, she may get worse as she gets older but if you take care of this now, it will not be as bad. hope this helps. good luck.
2007-02-17 11:23:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋