I have dated a girl for almost one year. I love her but we are still young (sixteen.) Once, when she was fourteen, she had sex with her ex (they dated for a year.) I was a virgin before I met her. I was waiting for someone to come along and take my love. I think she is the one. However, I am still angered by the fact that she had sex at age fourteen with a guy that she says she never loved. I feel a little embarrassed that she had sex before I did, but I'm sure you will agree with me that she was not thinking clearly back then. I have to live with the fact that she was not a virgin when we met forever. Is there anything I can think of to help me forget what she did in her past (I don't like the idea of another sweaty guy on top of her)?
ps. If you are going to answer make it serious and heartfelt.
2007-02-17 10:58:32 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hey Pal.
Take it from someone older. They are all "the one". Who cares if this chic (and by the way...14 is to young to be getting laid) did sleep with another guy, you are way to young to get caught up in that stuff.
If you want to "save" yourself, that is completely respectable. I couldn't do it. But every time you look at this girl you will think of her doing the nasty deed with another dude. Chances are, she'll do it again with someone else. Can you really live with that? The best way to get over her indiscretions is to dump her.
Life works in mysterious ways. Think of the upside...because this chic did this, it opens the doors for you to meet "the one". This doesn't mean you can be friends with this girl, it just means that you are unable to cope with, rather scandalous past.
And by the way...we have all had a first time at some point in our lives. Life changes so quickly that it is rare that our "first" is still in the picture. That's a good thing in my case. I've been married to the real "one" going on 15 years.
Keep your chin up kiddo. Life is a great journey and the bump your hitting right now will be so insignificant 20 years from now that it will never matter.
2007-02-17 11:17:33 · answer #1 · answered by 4X4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweetie. You are so young. Trust me when I say she won't be your last girlfriend, you are way too young to be that serious. You both will grow. It's a part of growing up. And I'm not saying that to discount your feelings, I know your feelings are very real. What I'm saying is enjoy it, enjoy her, but don't think about marriage. You are way too young, and life changes FAST, and it will change as you grow older and more mature.
As for her...it was her decision and it was before you met her. She didn't cheat on you did she? If not, you just have to get over it. It had nothing to do with you and it doesn't reflect on your relationship at all. And she can't change it, as much as she'd probably like to, she can't take it back, you know? Just stop thinking about it. She's with YOU now, be proud of that alone and forget about her past. Don't hang it over her head, that's not fair, because she can't change it.
But that's what I mean by maturity. As you get older and more mature, this stuff doesn't bother you. It's petty. Just let it go, hon.
2007-02-17 11:11:20 · answer #2 · answered by I'm just me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mate, many off us have been trough that stage, and its only 1 thing i can do, not sure if it will help you but. if you really love her, and then i don't mean "oh i love you now **** me hard", but seriously love(!), you should forget what she did when she was 14, we have all been young and stupid, and instead of thinking "i am virgin and she ain't, what am i gonna do now ???" think off how cute that girl is, and that she might gonna break you virgin. You wont let her ex boyfriend destroy your love for her do you? i have done that mistake once, please don't let that happen to you, im begging you.
Let it pass, tell her that you love her, give her a hug once in a while, maybe a kiss if you are boyfriends and girlfriends, her ex is out of her life if she really love you! Ok she had sex with him, for 2 years ago, you dated her for 1 year right ? that means it was before she meet you, do you think she would have done that if she knew you by then? :). listen to me now please, FORGET HER EX! you will get far into her heart my giving her a hug.
good luck mate! might light guide you the right way!
2007-02-17 11:08:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay... yes it should bother you a little bit that she had sex at the age of 14. But you have to ask yourself some questions first before you do anymore thinking. Did she openly honestly tell you this? If she did then she honestly wants you to know and forgive. Its a hard thing telling someone that. And yes she probley was not thinking when she did it. But you must remember... that guy is no longer there. She doesnt love him... she loves you. And if you guys have sex for the first time it is the first time for both of you togeather. That guy doesnt play a part. Its just you and her. He isnt in your relationship. When you guys have sex for the first time it will be your guys first time. and the time after that and the time after that. i hope this helped a bit!!
2007-02-17 11:04:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was a virgin when i met my first love too. He wasnt a virgin, and i would always get mad when i thought of it because he also said that she was a mistake. Then i gave it up to him, and i asked him if i was a mistake too. He told me no. I dont like the idea of him being on top of another woman either. I havent really gotten over the fact that he didnt loose his v-card to me, but i have moved on. You need to remember that she is yours and not his or any other guys girl anymore. I hope this helps because i know how you feel. You feel like crap, your sad, and a little mad. More jealous than mad though.
2007-02-17 11:15:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it nothing wrong with having sex u just to make sure that the person u chooses to have sex with iz the right person, if u truly love that young lady and also trust her cuz of course trust iz the key to any realtionship, dont rush the sex situation, just becuz yall been together 4 a 1yrs. just wait until u kn that it the right time cuz if u r a good guy sex shouldnt be a issue, and if yall have communication yall should b able to talk about everything good and bad. good luck i hope this help
2007-02-17 11:23:55 · answer #6 · answered by pain&pleasure 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not be having sex at age 16, pal!!! You are not "in Love" and if you are "saving yourself".....keep saving because this girl is not The One. You are both extremely immature and the price you will pay is not worth the agony.....get it????
2007-02-17 11:03:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't either and if you want it to be special wait as long as you can. The longer you wait the better man you will be in the end. take your time and be confident. There is nothing worse than an impatient man who is needy in life.
2007-02-17 11:05:39 · answer #8 · answered by matthew m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love this girl ,it shouldn't matter whats she has done. She is with you you now, you knew and you need not bring it up to her, there is no need to, you are the one she loves. Unless you think she is cheating, you need to trust her and forget what she has done. What matters is you have her now!
2007-02-17 11:17:46 · answer #9 · answered by mybudnoobs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋