Would/could u love some1 who has a disfigurement?

Question

If so what are you limits, I’m curious for the opinions people who consider them selves to be beautiful in the supermodel sense (and yes I know every one is beautiful and its all skin deep and all that stuff so don’t start ranting at me).
I want to know could you in you heart of hearts say you would?
What if they had skin with some sort of disease (not contagious) would you date them or if were severely disfigured. I want honest answers.I believe I could but I guess you cant know for sure until your in that situation.

Answer 1

I am glad you asked such a good question.I have suffered with the skin condition psoriasis for over 30 yrs now,all over my body,and i hav'nt had a relationship in the past 16 yrs when it started to get worse.It's because i would not expect any woman to go to bed with me in this condition-it just would'nt be fair so therefor no relationship,as easy as that.Its not easy-but its something i have learned to live with,on the other hand if it was the other way around it would'nt bother me,as i think its the person that love is based on.i dont know, but i do know i could have done without this annoying damn condition-as any sufferer will tell you!Good Q.and good answers.thank you.

Answer 2

If Beauty is skin deep then this person definitely would not be able to go to a terribly disfigured person.But if you are beautiful in Spirit and in the Gospel of Our Heavenly Father and you are able to Meet a disfigured person that is a wonderful and equally yoked person .also of course this person would be accepted. Unfortunately many beautiful skin deep people would never be put into a situation to sit down next to a disfigured person to get to know them. I am attractive but not gorgeous physically. In this life Men more so than women will not even give a overweight woman a second glance much less a person that is terribly disfigured.

Answer 3

It would probably be hard for me to begin a relationship with some one who was disfigured but I wouldnt say impossible since it has never been something that I have had to face. But if something happened to someone that I already loved it might bring a little bit of a problem but if I really love the person then my love for that person shouldnt change since I should be in love with the person and not the shell that they are in.
We look to much at the outside and not the inside and it really is pretty stupid. Its like buying a house that looks beautiful and not checking if it is full of termites when you could of bought a house that doesnt look all that hot but will last forever. Its hard tho to do. another thing that might stop me is the fact that if I were to fall in love with someone who had been born with thier problem and the time came we were to want to have children this problem could pass on to the children and that is not fair for the child. It is sad though because everyone should be able to have the experience of being loved and wanted and so many go through life never knowing what that is. Its a hard call to make. I can only say that I hope my love for the one that I am with is strong enough to not change if something were to happen.

Answer 4

As I wouldn't find them instantly attractive, I think it would be difficult to get to know them initially - but that is the same for me, whether a person is disfigured or not. I do believe that beauty comes from within, and that personality is the most important aspect of a person.

Certainly if I was in a loving relationship, and love is based on inner feelings not what that person looks like, and my partner became ill or had injuries that caused disfigurement then I would stand by them no matter what. Their outward looks would not make any difference to the person that I fell in love with.

Answer 5

I think that I have to take this a little bit away from the question that you actually asked. You weren't specific in your question but I think that you are asking about a potential partner.

The reason that I take it away a little from the original question is, if you had a child with a disfigurement, you would love that child. No conditions attached! Under those conditions you can and would love and it would be without conditions. Therefore, I would think that if you met someone that interested you and you got on with well, then you could learn to love them - but being a partner is really the crux, isn't it?

Some of us are born beautiful on the outside and ugly within. Since you mentioned it yourself, I have a rep that visits our office regularly and he has a skin condition which isn't contagious. It doesn't look very nice and I was reluctant to shake his hand on his first visit - but didn't want to be rude since he had offered his hand to me. I shook his hand and he gave me such a beautiful smile. No, I didn't marry him, I am already happily married - but he knew what I was thinking and accepted that I had made that little bit of effort.

Look beyond a persons looks - fat, thin, pretty, ugly - does it really matter what a person looks like? If you are regarding looks rather than the person then you are merely looking for an extension to an overblown ego. All you are really asking yourself is 'how good will this person look on my arm?'

I suspect that there is a real reason for you asking this question and I am going to suggest that you at least give it a try. Don't worry about how someone looks - just worry about what they feel for you and what you feel for them!

Answer 6

Despite what we all would hope we are like it is difficult to look past a disfigurement, but personality does have a way of shining through and I think I could love them just as much as any other person.

I do have a friend who has a disfigurement (which I would rather not talk blatently of on the internet as it is for her to discuss not me)and she is the most hilarious person I know, and is always up for a laugh, and our friendship was never strained as I treated her as a normal person (and I don't mean to insinuate that she is not a normal person).

The difficulty is only when the small minority of people seemto feel that people with disfigurements should be treated differently, which becomes quite awkward. But I don't think you should ignore what the person looks like, as that is them: don't 'look past it' as there is nothing wrong with it.

I don't consider myself to be beautiful, but I don't consider myself to be ugly and yes I could love someone with a disfigurement, its more important that interests are shared and personalities don't clash. But I do not that I would not date someone who is arrogant.

That is as honest an answer as I can give. People are people after all.

Answer 7

Two 'for instances'
In my twenties, I worked in a communications centre. There was a small wireless office where a lone girl, pretty but very fat, sat. Because of her size, everyone else ignored her. I took tea through to her at regular intervals during the night, and sat chatting to her.
She turned out to be one of the nicest personalities I have ever met. Just nobody else took the trouble to find out.
Example Two was a woman I worked with. She had this habit of rolling her eyes into the top of her head until you could only see the whites of her eyes. Then she would blink wildly. At first this seemed really weird, and people tended to avoid her. After 5 years working with her, I never even noticed.
Just like blind or deaf people seem to develop their other instincts, so disfigured people seem to improve other qualities.
Go for the personality every time. Friends and family will soon get used to the person. Sod what other people think.

Answer 8

It depends on how bad it was and if it was their face.
If someone was a midget, a giant, had a missing limb(s), or some other basic thing like that of course it would not matter. If they looked like Joseph Merrick or Grace McDaniels then it would be an issue at first, I could learn to love them as a person and eventually fall in love with their personalty but I could not instantly be seduced by someone who was had gross facial disfigurement.
I have though about this sort of thing a lot over the years, I am fascinated by deformity and disfigurement.
I would recommend the film "Freaks" by Todd Browning - it is about a beautiful woman who marries a freak show midget and tries to poison him to get his fortune. It is a brilliant film and features real deformed people as actors so is very honest about how deformity works.

Answer 9

This is a great question. I don't particularly call myself "handsome" (definitely not beautiful; I'm a man), and I am very divided when I think of an answer for this.
I think that it would depend on the disfigurement, but today's society is extremely dependant on attractiveness, so much so that Brittany Spears has shaved her head for (what most think is) beauty and attractiveness in today's society. (I personally don't think so, but, each to his own.)
I think that if one truly loves another, then the features of that person would undergo crystallisation (see below), and if I could see the beauty in the person (both physically and "on the inside"), then the disfigurement would undergo (I hope I'm using this phrase correctly) crystallisation. But, as you say, it's hard to imagine and it would depend on the degree of disfigurement.
Also, a girl whom I really like, to others, has a rather bad acne problem. I, however, have seen past that due to, yes, it's crystallisation again! To be completely honest with you, I think that my attraction to this girl is due to looking past the "problem", which I now find rather attractive, strangely enough, and seeing the actual beauty of the person without the disfigurement.

Answer 10

I suppose on some level if the disfigured person was a stranger then i would probably say no to a date but if it was someone i had got to know and had got past the looks issue then i would say yes if feelings had grown.
An excellent question. I guess we all would like to feel that we are above the shallowness of judging someone on their looks alone but in reality it is probably the thing that we could not get past initially.