My brother is the best brother a girl could wish for, he is protective, funny, witty and is fantastic company. For the past 10 years my sister in law has been snippy with her comments, bitchy really to be honest and she gets little digs in when she can and some have been very hurtful but me being me, I have always let it slide! Recently my husband and I bought two new cars, nice ones. We've lived within our means for many a year, we honestly, struggled a bit and now we can afford to really splash out, so we did! She never said anything directly to me but I said to my nephew when he was staying over, 'does your mum like my new car?' and he began to laugh - I asked him what he was laughing at and he wouldn't say - all I got out of him was that she was discussing it with her best mate and they said they felt sorry for me as I had to compensate for my husband working away from home with a sports car!
2007-02-17 10:02:39 · 9 answers · asked by DikiDoo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I feel really hurt at this and feel I want to say something but I don't want to get my nephew in trouble, he's only 11. I feel I want to just ignore her and not speak with her anymore as I really can't take this jealous bitchiness from her but I love my brother and don't want him to stop visiting or speaking to me because I already don't speak with my sister and my sister in law has a lot to do with that, sticking her nose in where it isn't wanted and I know she has made things 100x worse with my sister and we'll probably never speak again thanks to my sister in law.
2007-02-17 10:05:05 · update #1
Ms Mat Urity wrote: Sorry to say it but you sound as bad as your sister-in-law. What adult would probe a child like you did? Your sister-in-law maybe nippy but seems like you want her to be impressed with what you've got. A car is a car why would you as her son if she liked it? Really keep on not saying anything to your brother as if he is any sort of man and as nice as you say he certainly will take his wife's part. I am sure you don't want a break up with him. Good luck!!!
I jst want to reply to her that I didnt probe my nephew, I only asked him if his mum liked my car, no harm done. Hardly probing. I'll tell u why a car is not simply a car in this case, my bruv is a mechanic and is nuts bout car racing & anything else to do with cars & she is pretty much the same, I just thought she would be interested and since I hadnt seen her myself to ask, I asked him. I dont want my sister in law to be impressed with what I have, but yet she expects me to be impressed with what she gets!
2007-02-19 22:48:22 · update #2
Thanks for the interesting question! I am sorry to hear about this. She sounds like a difficult person! I have struggled wih something very similar in my family. I have to warn you aht my answer is not pleasant okay but here goes. LOL. You know, it reaches a point where you have to just completely let this kind of thing go. What you describe in my opinion is possibly the hardest thing to deal with in families, i.e. a pain in the **** person but you kind of put up with them because of other connected family members. I can so relate! LOL. But at a certain point you have to be bigger than they are. If somebody is detructive or toxic I cut them out of my life. If they are just a pain and/or part of a connection, it is best to IGNORE them. You are probably a kind and sensitive person that this would bother you, I understand! But this is one area where a little bit of tough skin helps. Or, look at it this way: it is an opportunity for you to work on yourself on whatever it is about her that gets your goat. If she really is what you said then she's the moron and best ignored.
Good luck!
2007-02-17 10:10:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay so what you did was way beyond nice and generous and shows just how far you are willing to go to include others but being a mother of 2 I know that I would not and still will not travel with my children that far on a plane and on top of that the amount of packing that is necessary to bring a newborn. Not only do they need the clothes, diaper, wipes, pack n play, swing, baby washcloths, baby shampoo and body wash, diaper creams, burp clothes, but if the mother is formula feeding then she has to bring along tons of formula and bottles and water and on top of that the cleaning supplies for those. Just getting ready to go would be a difficult thing for a new mother. And besides that all a new mommy wants to do is spend time with her new arrival, bond, and relax from a hectic few weeks. Then there are the doctor's visits that they have to make sure to work around. If she is at home she can work on getting her baby into a schedule, get some down time for herself (by the way she hasn't had since before she was pregnant). It is not easy traveling with children until they reach an age where they are able to sit and play on their own and I will tell you that my 3 year old is still not there! Her missing the wedding is not the end of the world. Your brother will be there and that's what is important. Besides having infants at a wedding is not much fun for the parent because they cannot pay attention to the wedding when they have to work on keeping the baby queit and happy.
2016-05-23 23:44:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key phrase for me in what you have written was 'I have always let it slide'
This is HOW your sister-in-law feels she CAN be snide towards you...because you take it and she knows that.
I recognised some of what you say from when I was a lot younger and MY sister-in-law was forever making horrible comments in front of me, like 'she doesn't eat enough to keep a sparrow alive' Argh!!!! I would never say anything but feel really upset afterwards. But I was young then...I wouldn't put up with it now.
Try to get a phrase together in your head to have ready for most situations that you can use the next time she is out of order. You will find that once you have said something back to her then she will think twice before she says anything again!
You don't have to sink down to her level though, just find an assertive phrase that will challenge her comments.
I know it can be scary to do, but better that than go on living for years to come with a sister-in-law from hell.
Best wishes.
2007-02-17 10:15:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say it but you sound as bad as your sister-in-law. What adult would probe a child like you did? Your sister-in-law maybe nippy but seems like you want her to be impressed with what you've got. A car is a car why would you as her son if she liked it? Really keep on not saying anything to your brother as if he is any sort of man and as nice as you say he certainly will take his wife's part. I am sure you don't want a break up with him. Good luck!!!
2007-02-17 10:13:31 · answer #4 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you do come up with answer let me know. My sister in law is far from pleasent and no one sees my brother anymore. I know it's his choice but it can't help when his wife doesn't like his family.
I find as long as your civil and polite then you are being the better person. Don't pick up the bad traits that she displays. Be bigger then that.
2007-02-17 10:13:19 · answer #5 · answered by wonder 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really feel for you this must be horrid. i get on with my bro in law very well but im not sure what i would do if we didn't. if i were you maybe i would speak to her on her own and ask what problem does she have with you but don't mention what your nephew said or maybe just ignore her she must be very jealous of you and i think in some way that would make me smile !! i think to rise above it would be best, i know its hard but you have your bro and nephew to lose and she ain't worth that. good luck !!!
2007-02-17 10:12:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister in law is the same way. I adore my brother, tho. I finally had to just let go and move on. I would never want to hurt my relationship with brother and his children. She and I are civil to one another but that is it. Don't go down to her level. She's insecure and you aren't.
2007-02-18 04:25:30 · answer #7 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jealousy comes to mind,don,t let it bother you,it,s not your problem,you have put up with this childish behaviour for 10 years,i wouldn,t have stood it for 10 minutes,it,s her loss,to lose a tolerant freind like you.ps just smile and talk freindly as if everything is cool.
2007-02-17 10:14:07 · answer #8 · answered by a.c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a jelouse ***** she sounds . if i were you i'd flaunt the lot in her face really rub it in ' even down to the fact that you get your bog roll from m&s that should really piss her off hahaha goodluck
2007-02-17 10:12:12 · answer #9 · answered by cazme20032002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋