A very close friend of mine is single, has no children, and is in her early 40's, and has no plans on having children. She won't hold a baby till they are 6 months old, shes been that way since forever, and I totally respect her decision. She loves children, and is great with them but has told me that since she wasn't able to have children, it bothers her to hold young babies. My other friends think she is weird and always make comments about it when shes around. When she leaves I tell them to keep their comments to themselves, and when shes is around and hears them she takes care of herself and gives her thoughts on what was said. It bothers me though cause my other friends are so rude. She doesn't care but I think deep down it bothers her. How can I deal with this, we are all friends, so its not like I can keep them apart, but when I have the baby around, thats when they say ignorant things to her, and well my baby is my baby and she comes with me everywhere.
2007-02-17 10:00:29 · 13 answers · asked by Proud Mother 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I don't think she is....I had three miscarriages before I got pregnant with my son. Each one was devestating and didn't want to be near friends who were pregnant or had babies because it made the experience harder. I believe your friend has every right to feel that way...she won't be a mother and she accepts that fact. But accepting it doesn't make it any easier. If not holding infants helps her then you know what no one has any right to judge. The next time they want to say something tell them to put themselves in her shoes...I know it's cliche but it's the best way to handle it.
2007-02-17 10:28:42 · answer #1 · answered by jcnvybbe 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Next time you are planning a get-together with this friend, and the others, please, let them know Ahead of time-to keep their mouths shut on thier comments. Sounds like these other friends need to walk a mile or so in her shoes--I understand where it would be hard on her emotionally to hold a baby younger than 6 mos. She has probably wanted children for several years, and it just hasn't happened in her life. Your other friends need to be more understanding, and definitely respect her feelings. Take care.
2007-02-17 10:18:21 · answer #2 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you only have one " real" friend and thats the person you want to know if shes weird? That's ridiculous, what if you couldn't have babies would you want someone shoving a baby in your face to remind you that you cant have children? Some people don't like to hold babies until they are a little older can you blame her? Shame on you for asking a silly question to as if she is weird? Sounds like you need to grow up a tad bit and evaluate who's the better of the friends and who wants to hang out with immature people who have to make fun of someone for what they prefer, SHAME ON YOU!
2007-02-17 10:33:01 · answer #3 · answered by jjsgirl0919 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people don't really like to hold newborns because they are so fragile. It's pretty normal and your friend is not wierd. She's being honest by saying that young babies bother her more than older ones since she can't have babies of her own. If your other friends are being so insensitive and rude, meet with your friends seperately.
2007-02-17 10:11:03 · answer #4 · answered by Vasilly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have lots of friends that for some reason or another cannot have children and they happen to be the chief holders and aunties/uncles to my son. having gone through the pain of infertility myself, I know about all the reminders of what I really wanted but couldn't have.(even the inconsiderate comments unknowingly given)
My advice is to ask her what she is comfortable with and respect her decision.
When I had my son I had a lot of friends who were unsure about babies, and with a lot of love and respect they came around and now they absolutely love him.
Hope that helps/
2007-02-17 10:30:18 · answer #5 · answered by trinaisfree 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just don't like babies or kids. There's nothing wrong with this, especially since she opted to not have children. Everyone just needs to respect each others decisions and choices
2007-02-17 10:10:21 · answer #6 · answered by njyecats 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good for you for not being rude or judgmental, the poor lady can't have children, that must be soooo difficult. Feel blessed that you were able to have a child and let your friends know too.
2007-02-17 14:01:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friends sound like a bunch of inconsiderate jerks and need to learn to mind their own business. It is very painful to some women who cannot have a baby to be around them. You are being kind to respect her wishes and stand up for her. I think I'd lose my patience with that crowd really fast. You don't need people like that.
2007-02-17 10:12:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it were me, I would stick up for your friend in front of the insensitive friends. Look for an opportunity to put them in their place. We all have our "weird" quirky behaviors. Those friends aren't perfect (obviously they have an issue with being tactful) and they need to be reminded that being a friend doesn't give them the right to poke fun at something that may really not be funny. Good luck to you!
2007-02-17 10:15:54 · answer #9 · answered by Wendy B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
properly i'm the unusual buddy(one in all them) in my team of acquaintances, yet all of my acquaintances have their weird and wonderful dispositions so yeah, i assume so. i does no longer say that they are hyperactive consistently nonetheless
2016-09-29 06:11:59 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋