Why do they do this....?

Question

I'm not exactly the sort of person to worry bout my appearance etc as i do the basics. I brush my hair teeth etc like you should but just because their are all these girls wearing different cloths everyday and always look perfect they put me down. But they forget that these girls liuve with their parents, and their mums do everything for them including washing cloths and buy them stuff they want instead of them buying it with their own money.

Theres a girl at work who has just started her apprenticeship and she has everything done for her by her parents and she tells everybody, but i am always compared against her the thing is our situations are different as i have my own place and was abandoned by my dad and my mum died so i get no help. So once the bills are paid i have no money left, to help with that and I am forever working so im always to tired to get up early in the morning to put makeup on and put my hair up etc. And i dont feel comfortable like that as i dont feel like me.

I just dont have time, as im always stressed out with both my jobs and college. All to keep the roof over my head. I do try but they complain cus my cloths are baggy as well but im really slim but havbe a long belly, and i have a small waist with long legs. and also i have size 6 1/2 feet which you cant get shoes for these days either to big or to small.

So its hard for me when i do have time to buy clothes as their are very few that are perfect cus my body is awkward.

Should they really be comparing me to someone in a completely different situation tho????

Thing is they have even admitted i am one of their hardest workers, and no matter what my job is always done even if it means i have to stay late, compared to some people.

My boyfriend is also happy with the way i am so i cant be that bad.

Answer 1

Don't waste your energy worrying about people who have nothing better to do than think that stuff is important. You're doing great hun... keep it up!

Answer 2

I also have the same problem. Well, it is not a real problem, per sey. I am 30, and I work my butt off with kids who are emotionally or mentally disabled. I can only get 20 hours a week (worked for 30 but was downsized by the district here in Jersey and am looking for work elsewhere), so, I can manage to pay my rent, bills and everything else. I have a co worker who talks about my hairstyle and why I can't get it done and such. Look, you are, what, 35 years old, two kids and you are worried about me and my hairstyle? What? Are you kidding me?
People who worry about other people-especially those who can't afford this or that because they only have themselves to fend off-can't buy all these "fancy" big designer named outfits and sneakers and get the latest hairstyle. I hardly wear make-up but, I can tell you this: I wash. My clothes are clean. My hair is decent and not a mess. My breath smells fine because I brush my teeth. I make sure what I am wearing is matching and have no holes, rips, tears, whatever. I get to work on time and I make sure my rent is paid and the light is on for me to see me dothe things I need to do in the morning. And you are comparying me to some f-ing tart who has everything done for her-all the time?
You do what you usually do. Because, when the time comes, and she is standing there not having mommy or daddy or a friend to help her out, you do not have to worry because you already know how to do things for yourself. And, as for your family situation: I had no dad either and my mom died a week and a half before Thanksgiving-almost three years ago. No family, really.
I know how it is. I am in the same boat-here in Jersey.
Screw her and the rest of those a-s-sholes who compare apples to oranges.

Answer 3

You're still standing, and you're still breathing, and that's what matters. You've lived through hard times, and you're still going. Don't you dare let a prissy little tart put you down. If she had been through what you have in her life she would have probably drowned under the stress. You tell yourself that you are an amazing person and an inspiration, beacuse you are. She will always be just another 'average little girl' just like so many out there. But it's people like you that will make a difference in this world.

Answer 4

I understand what you are saying and believe it or not lots of women feel this way and probably even the girl you are being compared to. Everyday you can wake up feeling just about ok, get dressed and then turn the corner and see someone who looks beautiful at 7am which makes you feel like rubbish. But remember the girl who looks great at 7am, feels like she has to make that much effort to feel good about herself. You say that if you do that you feel uncomfortable, don't. If your happy to not put all of that on your face then good for you, your saving time and money.

What you are probably feeling is being hacked off because of people comparing you. Don't worry about what other paople think about you compared to her. You are independent and ambitious and that will take you a lot further than her lipgloss and fake eyelashes.

Be yourself and you'll be cool, supercool lol xxxx

Answer 5

First, sorry about your parents. That's not easy. Second, why is everyone comparing ANYone to anyone? Sounds like a high-school nightmare to me. Either way, this answer is going to seem pretty lame but time will change all of this. These people are obviously shallow individuals. Find friends who love you for who you are, what you are, etc. It helps to deal with the goofballs you work with.

Answer 6

Just the fact that you have TWO jobs AND you're a college student shows that you have character, stability and drive. And you do all of these things with NO help from your dad, and your mom is deceased? You're doing just fine sweetie-no scratch that, you're doing a GREAT job!

Just think-if these losers have to pick on you about something so shallow as your apparel-then that shows how freakin' miserable their lives truly are. Ignore these fools, and keep striving towards your goals. You'll be just fine.

Answer 7

so pretend you do not hear them. However, I have found that 2 skirts, 2 pairs of trousers and 6 tops mean that you can 'ring the changes'. Also a couple of sassy scarves to make a change can help as well. You do not have to spend a lot of money to get a basic wardrobe like this.

Answer 8

People have nothing better to do. Especially spoiled girls that get everything handed to them. Your best bet is to not worry about what they think and only worry about what you think. If you aren't comfortable wearing make-up and dressing like a 3 dollar ho, then don't do it. Just be confident in who you are and believe you to be as beautiful as you really are and other people will notice that. People notice confidence, they don't notice makeup and clothes, that is secondary.

Answer 9

Don't worry about what they think.
Don't try to be someone your not.
I think you will find as these other girls move through life they will struggle with things like credit cards and debt and taking care of their bills without mom and dad.
Your doing fine, you should never have to cover up who you are or act any way you feel uncomfortable with to please other people.
In the long run, you will come out far ahead of these other girls.

Answer 10

Believe in yourself. No-body's perfect,and no-body's truly happy with their looks-these other girls are just jealous that you're (a) comfortable with yourself, (b) better at your job than they are, and (c) showing them that you're strong enough to stand on your own two feet,while they're still living off of their parents. This sounds like bullying-don't suffer in silence,report it and get it stopped-now.

Answer 11

There's a lot of social pressure out there. You have to make a choice. Either don't let it bother you - or make small changes. I use to be just like you - and still am to a certain extent. I like jeans and tennis shoes. The girls in my office wouldn't be caught in publice wearing tennis shoes unless they were working out or at the park. I like my sleep, so waking up late and putting my hair in a pony tail isn't uncommon. I like my husband, so staying up late with him isn't uncommon. Make sure your bubble outside of work is solid - and just go to work for the paycheck. Be you... and let them be them.