My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years and have even discussed marriage after we graduate college. My best friend for several years is a gay guy that is fem and has no sexual interest in me nor do I for him. We hang out like girls, see chick flicks, go shopping, paint our toe nails, etc. We have a lot in common, but my boyfriend doesn't like it. I'm afraid he's going to make me choose between them, and it really worries me. Any suggestions how to handle this? Please no homophobic remarks.
2007-02-17 07:57:07 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
IF you allow your boyfriend to start dictating who your friends are, what friends are acceptable, you will find yourself a short step from having no friends, for there will come a time when he will object to your talking to anyone but him. He is a controller, and to a controller, there is never enough control. Your friend does not threaten him in any way, yet he wants you to cut off contact. What is the problem....he prefers that you have hot chicks for friends so he can make passes at them behind your back??? If I were you, I would run, not walk, to the nearest exit. You are setting yourself up for some serious heartache down the line. Remember this note later, when you have ignored this advice, yet find yourself out on a limb by yourself, alone, no one to turn to, and being beaten by this guy. IT will escalate, trust me.
2007-02-17 08:04:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I get REALLY worried when someone has an issue with someone else's friends. If there's certain activities he's uncomfortable with (spending the night etc.; not sure if you do, but lots of females do get very close with their gay male friends) that might be worth talking about, but if he just doesn't like you being around your friend, that's really scary and is a sign of a potentially abusive person. Assuming that's not the problem, and he just literally doesn't get it...has he met your friend? Maybe if the three of you hang out some, your bf will see how nonthreatening your friend is?
2007-02-17 17:08:41 · answer #2 · answered by Atropis 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's making you choose, then choose. I'd really suggest the friend though. All he's doing is being a good friend. The other guy is being ignorant forcing you away from your friend(s).
2007-02-18 00:27:58 · answer #3 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No homophobic remarks here... more of a heterophobic response.
Do you really want to think about marrying someone who is SO freakin insecure that he is jealous of your gay friend? Red flag red flag red flag!!!!!
He is either so insecure, or trusts you SO little.. or something. But I would be very worried about being with him-- sorry, my opinion.
2007-02-17 16:32:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you've already spoken about it, there isn't much more you can do. If your boyfriend decides he can't cope, it's his loss. You need to be with someone who respects your values and friendships. Ultimatums are never a good way to start married life.
Trust me, new boyfriends are easier to find then true best friends.
2007-02-17 16:04:38 · answer #5 · answered by The angels have the phone box. 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
u need to talk it out..and if your boyfriend cant accept ALL of you..and by all i mean the ppl that come along wit u then i think its time to get a new man ya dig..make him see that theres nuttin wrong wit gay men and ask him how he would feel if he had a gay friend or family member and u didnt appreciate it and made him choose...ask him to c wat his answer will b
2007-02-17 16:02:49 · answer #6 · answered by *^*nyqt*^* 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be honest your boyfriend is just insecure about you having a male friend. He needs to grow up.
2007-02-17 16:20:36 · answer #7 · answered by collegedebt 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
maybe the 3 of you should go out to dinner or something and have a serious discusion about it let everything out on the table and see if he still doesn't like it. then decide.
2007-02-17 16:07:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell your BF to grow up and that if he really loves you he won't make you choose between him and your friends.
2007-02-17 16:01:54 · answer #9 · answered by Rageling 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If the BF is so insecure he insists you dump your friend, dump the BF, QUICK.
2007-02-17 16:19:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋