A lot of people need a challenge but mostly it's because they're probably somewhat co-dependent. They need a "bad guy" to tame...they want a guy with problems so that they can feel needed themselves by helping to fix their problems. I know firsthand because I used to be attracted to guys that didn't have IT together. I'd want them to like me and realize how wonderful I was for changing their world...being their reason for living. That's just ridiculous to me now, but some things still linger. I do want a challenge at times...someone that's NOT a doormat and someone with stubborness and opinions and vitality. Someone who's not passive but they're passionate. A guy that stands up for himself and will argue back without feeling like he'll rock the boat.
2007-02-17 06:51:34 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
THIS REALLY WASN'T A QUESTION...IT WAS MY EXPLANATION.
2007-02-17 07:01:25 · update #1
Yeah, took me a long time and a couple of heart breaks to figure out that if you are hooked up with somebody who starts saying things like "I feel like you don't need me", that means they think you're way too together and they are very insecure, and you have two choices at that point:
1. Dump them.
2. Do nothing differently than you are already doing things--it's not your problem--but you may not be happy hanging around somebody so insecure.
The one thing you don't do is start trying to help them, cater to their insecurities by showing them more availability... because then ... you stop being yourself, and then they dump you, and then there you are with your ego smashed trying to figure out where YOU went becuase they trained you not to be you. You gotta learn to set your boundaries and know when a problem is not yours to fix.
Also, you should probably just dump them if you find yourself starting to resent them and witdhdrawing from them.
2007-02-17 07:34:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the reason women want "bad boys" is due to the fact that bad boys tend to have high self esteem and they project that. Weather you believe it or not your senses pick up on that esteem and you find him attractive. I do think you have a point about "Taming the wild", but a person will only change as much as they allow.
2007-02-17 07:16:26 · answer #2 · answered by nshappe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This logic is stupid. I'm sure all your efforts are wasted as the "bad boy" is most likely using you for sex and can't wait for the next dummy to fall for his bad boy image so he can dump you.
But then again, you are a woman. Who says you have to make any sense.
2007-02-17 06:58:17 · answer #3 · answered by Joe B 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I understand what you are saying, but why do women go back to bad boys when they know he is nothing but trouble? How many hits on the head with a hammer do you need before you realize it hurts?
2007-02-17 06:56:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is why YOU are attracted to bad boys. You can ONLY speak for yourself on this issue since you don't know EVERY woman on the planet and their choices or WHY they make their choices. So please refrain from speaking for those you don't know and only speak for yourself on issues such as these.
2007-02-17 07:00:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you say is indeed true for alot of women. Bad boys will always have chicks, plain & simple.
2007-02-17 07:06:12 · answer #6 · answered by B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oooo,,ooooo,,my hand is up for this one,,
Omg,, I am 45 my days of badboys were in teh 1980's and i am sure they never change,,
Badboys attract us because we love the thrill of the chase and just like men do,, they don't want u if u chase them,,they want the ones who don't,, it took many years to learn my lesson,,but i finally did,, and besides the badboys are usually the poor boys,,
get yourself an attentive,,loving geek,,and u will not regret if .
2007-02-17 15:12:19 · answer #7 · answered by annie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem. That's why I am divorced now. I just want a guy who is charming and sweet.
2007-02-17 06:56:13 · answer #8 · answered by classylady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋