I'm married to a great and loving husband. We have 3 young kids. I love him and adore him. EXCEPT I hate making love to him. I don't ever remember liking it with him. We have been married almost 12 years now and I can honestly say I hate having sex with him! Since July I have been seeing a man that I do enjoy sex with. That's all that it is pretty much just sex.( I mean we do go out to eat ,watch tv, etc.) No my husband does not know otherwise I would be divorced by now. Why do I not like sex with hubby but enjoy it with other?
2007-02-17 06:44:57 · 17 answers · asked by areacode760 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's a question only YOU can answer. Does he revolt you when you see him undressed? Does he always "do it" the same way so being with someone else is exciting for you?? Try doing what you do with this other man, with your husband*
IF not..then time you leave your husband.....cuz eventually he'll find out about your affair and leave you, taking the kids with him. YOu need to figure out what it is about him that you hate having sex with him*
SEEK COUNSELLING cuz sounds like you need it*
2007-02-17 06:49:03 · answer #1 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you get a divorce right now. If you love your husband right now you need to find why you loved him in the first place? Are the other more experienced in sex? Maybe you should try new things with hubby. Bring new idea's in having sex. Try role playing see where it get's you. I can tell you. I used to be like that, I out grew my man and found another who new what pleased me. I left the other to be with someone I love and enjoy being with now. But you have to at least try otherwise you have to leave. Have you told your husband that you want more than just playing sex? Maybe there is a wild side to you? You have to explore this option for yourself.
2007-02-17 06:53:50 · answer #2 · answered by FREDDIE H 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not married but I know someone in this exact situation. I think part of it is the thrill of knowing you have the "home life" but you can still go out and do what you want with another man. Not saying what your doing is right... it's definitely not fair to your husband (unless you have reason to think he is cheating on you too lol). Love is a strong word and feeling, and in a marriage/relationship sex is a big part in it. Have you tried talking to him about it in the past? Make suggestions as to what you both could do to "spice it up" a little bit... If you love one another, you should work on it. as far as telling him about the other guy... I'd leave that out.
2007-02-17 06:51:40 · answer #3 · answered by hurleygirl5211 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were you sexually abused (or raped) in the past?
If the answer to the first question was yes, did the person who sexually abused (or raped) you also took care of your needs?
Obviously, your husband may be a good provider but he is "too nice" to be your husband because he is not abusive towards you. The other man reminds you of your past abuse.
Seek counseling and immediately stop having sex with either man. You may want to come clean with your husband and seek joint marital counseling. You also need to accept the consequences of your behavior - if that means divorce or possibly losing your kids.
2007-02-17 06:51:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yep, typical of a woman. Just plain typical. Anyhow, since there is "something missing in the marriage" most women on this forum would agree that is OK
But if a man were to ask the same question, he is a dog and the scum of the eart.
Most of you women are complete psychos making up your own rules as you go.
I'd say put this guy out of his misery and divorce him. It is the least you can do. Who knows, maybe he things that you are terrible in bed and would like to be with other women. You ever think about that?
2007-02-17 06:51:52 · answer #5 · answered by Joe B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you cheat because you are missing the good sex that your husband is not giving you...its that simple.
but....your question should sound more like....why dont I break up with my husband if am cheating on him and hate to have sex with him?
you know that you cant leave you husband because you are having your cake and eating it too.
you have your PROVIDER at home taking care of all the bills and house work while you also are having great sex with a BAD BOY who rocks your world in the sack.......it doesnt get anybetter than that.
you know that you cant leave your provider for your bad boy because he wont take care of you and your utility bills. but,,,,you cant leave your bad boy because then you wont have anybody to pleasure you with great sex.
you are living in a paradox where you are getting your needs fulfilled but you are not happy......
what a wonderful world.
2007-02-17 06:57:17 · answer #6 · answered by luis b 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that most of the time our husbands just take us for granted and they can make us feel like we are not what they want except for sex. I hope that things work out for you and you can find the happiness that you so richly deserve.
2007-02-17 06:49:53 · answer #7 · answered by karen v 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a good question. I know the closer I get loving someone the less I want to have sex with them. They become more like a borther/sister relationship. It's like your having sex with a family member instead of a partner. For me anyway. Have your fun, just don't get caught.
2007-02-17 06:50:48 · answer #8 · answered by Fireman T 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say that the other man could be better at sex than your husband and it's someone different.You are cheating and you haven't been caught. Be careful! Most cheaters eventually get caught.
2007-02-17 06:55:32 · answer #9 · answered by Nancy M. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Write down all the things that your husband does to you, that you dislike.
Write down all the things that your lover does to you that you like.
Sit down with your husband and tell him what you like and what you do not like, in several sessions. If he is reasonable, and if he wants this marriage to work, he will listen to you.
2007-02-17 09:54:09 · answer #10 · answered by kenneth h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋